Foundation of Memories
by Stephaniiie
Summary: AU/AH Bella and Edward are best friends but just as they are getting around to becoming more, tragedy strikes leaving Edward with no memory of Bella. Can they rebuild their strong relationship without a foundation of memories to stabilise it?
1. Chapter 1: Vicious Cycle

**DISCLAIMER- (for the whole story)**** I do not own the Twilight saga or any of the characters that are in the saga. This is a fanfiction written purely for fun and to get some (hopefully) nice reviews :) Nor do I own any of the music or songs mentioned throughout.**

**_Summary: Edward and Bella have been best friends since before they could remember and are slowly starting to reveal their true feelings to each other. But one day tragedy strikes leaving Edward in a coma. When he wakes he has retrograde amnesia- and cannot remember a thing about Bella. Then it is up to her to try to rebuild their strong relationship and to recover his memory. But is it possible to create a friendship without a foundation of memories to build it upon?_**

**Okay, so votes guys. Do you want a chapter playlist or a song quote with this story? For this chapter I'm going with the quote since this song is very much like this story:**

_I like the way you sound in the morning._

_We're on the phone when without a warning;_

_I realise your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard._

_I like the way I can't keep my focus,_

_I watch you talk; you didn't notice._

_I hear the words but all I can think is: we should be together._

_Every time you smile, I smile;_

_And every time you shout, I'll shout for you._

_Woah I'm feeling you baby;_

_Don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall._

_**-Jump Then Fall, Taylor Swift**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 1- Vicious Circle**

**Bella POV**

I crossed my arms over my chest as I lay awake pondering Jacob's offer. We _did_ work well together as a team but did that mean that dating would be a good idea? And, yes, the only bad comment we had ever gotten when in a skating competition was that there wasn't much chemistry between the two of us, but did that necessitate 'getting to know each other better'? Because I was fairly sure that I knew Jacob pretty well… well, I had been sure. Until today when he had dropped the bombshell that he liked me. It was a bombshell to me, even if it hadn't been to Alice who had scoffed and told me I was blind. What other secrets was he hiding?

Suddenly there was a muffled bang outside of my window. I jumped slightly, and then snorted into my pillow; _idiot_.

"Bella!" he hissed through the window. "Come on! Don't you dare pretend to be sleeping again- I _know_ you're not!"

I grinned, and slipped out of bed, padding softly over to the window. I pushed the curtains aside and raised an eyebrow at the gorgeous, bronze-haired boy on the other side. I unlatched the window and let him into my bedroom, shutting it quietly behind him before whispering, "Are you trying to wake up the whole neighbourhood or something?"

Edward rolled his eyes and climbed into my bed, pulling the duvet up to his chin. "That was your fault for not leaving the window open."

I joined him in my bed then, loving the feel of his muscled arm winding around my shoulder and pulling me against his torso. I snuggled into him and rested my head on his arm. "You're wet," I observed with a small giggle.

"It is raining outside," he replied, turning on his side so he could look at me. "We still on for tomorrow?"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. The next day was Valentines day, and it was an unspoken agreement between the two of us that every single year we were each other's valentines, even though we weren't actually an item. "Of course. Why bother asking?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering. You might have agreed to go out with Jacob." His tone got angrier as he said my friend's name. Edward and Jacob hated each other like… I don't even know what. I didn't know why they hated each other either. Well, I knew why Jake didn't like Edward- he considered him _competition_. Pfft, that showed what Jake knew. The thing was that while I very much liked Edward in that way, he clearly didn't have the same feelings for me. Sure, we did the odd couply thing together – like the Valentines day outings – but we had been best friends since before either of us could remember so he had probably never even thought about me in that way. Me, though? Oh, believe me, I thought about him in that way all of the freaking time.

"I'm not going to ditch you, Edward," I sighed, and then my brow furrowed in confusion. "How did you know that Jake asked me out?"

Edward frowned. "Seriously, Bella? Have you not _seen_ the way he looks at you?" His arm tightened around me like the protective older brother he acted like. "Besides, I'm the one he called to ask where you like to go."

I felt my brows shoot up. "Really? What did you say?"

Edward buried his face in my hair and didn't reply, and I knew he had said something to Jacob that I wouldn't want to hear.

I put on my best strict tone and said, "Edward. What did you say?"

"I told him that you like spicy food," he mumbled.

"But I hate spicy food," I pointed out.

"_I_ know that," he said indignantly. Then I felt him smile that gorgeous crooked grin against my forehead. "But Jacob doesn't."

I poked him. "That wasn't very nice. To me or to Jacob. What if I had said yes and he had taken me to somewhere that only does spicy food?"

"Then you wouldn't have gone on a second date?" Edward suggested cheekily.

I rolled my eyes _again_. "If I liked him, Edward, I would have gone again. But I _don't_ like him like that so I'm not going in the first place. Besides, I think Jake would have remembered that I told him that I like Italian food best."

"You told him that?"

"Duh. What, you expect us to just talk about skating in training?" I snickered. "Ah, Eddie, you have so much to learn…"

Edward was silent for a moment, not even telling me off for using his much-hated nickname, playing with a few strands of my hair. I shut my eyes, revelling in the feeling that I loved so much; obviously, I wouldn't tell him that though.

"Do you tell him your secrets?" Edward said then.

I laughed. "What secrets?" I said, pretending I had none. Really, I only had one secret but I would never tell Jacob that I thought that I was in love with Edward. Or anyone else for that matter; if you didn't include Alice. And I hadn't even told her- she was just pretty good at guessing these things.

"All the ones you tell me." Edward rolled back on to his back, pulling me down on to his chest.

I smiled and looked into his dazzling green eyes. "You mean the fact that my best friend-slash-next-door neighbour sneaks through my bedroom window almost every night?"

Edward grinned back, one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other as usual; his signature smile. "Yep."

I crawled up his chest and whispered in his ear, "Of course I haven't told Jacob that, you noob."

He chuckled quietly, and grabbed my wrist. "Don't call me a noob, you noob."

"Noob, noob, noob…" I sang, poking his chest with every time I said the word.

Edward started to tickle me mercilessly then, his fingers digging gently into my sides until I couldn't breathe for laughing. "Get off!" I gasped breathlessly, and Edward reluctantly let me go so I could get my breath back.

For a long while we lay there side by side staring at the ceiling, our whole bodies touching all the way from the tops of our shoulders down to where my toes scraped the middle of his calf, because he was that much taller than me. His feet even dangled over the end of my bed, but that was just because my bed was tiny, as he complained about regularly. I reached over and draped my arm over him, gently trailing my fingers over his six pack. That was the wonderful thing about being best friends with the guy you were in love with – or at least _very _attracted to – you could touch him like this, or hold hands with him, or hold him hostage in your bedroom and there would be no questions asked. At least, not from either of us.

Naturally, there were many bad things about being best friends with said guy as well. Such as the fact that the more you saw him the more you fell, and that went in a vicious cycle. You knew all of his secrets, all of the crushes he had ever had and you would lie awake for hours thinking how you could never live up to any of them. Not to mention the very worst thing- you were too scared to even consider making a move because you had more to lose then you had to gain. Really, saying anything about my feelings was pretty much a lose-lose situation.

"Bella?" Edward's voice pierced the silence.

"Yes?"

"Why did you say no to Jacob?" he said so quietly that I thought I had heard him wrong. But then he continued. "I mean, surely you must like him to be able to look at him like you do when you skate together?"

I blushed, not wanting to tell him that whenever Jake and I had to do a routine that was in anyway romantic, I just pictured his face. His green eyes instead of Jacob's almost-black almond-shaped pair. His permanently messy 'sex hair' (my nickname, not his) instead of Jake's recently shorn black tuft. "How would you know how I look at him anyway?" I shot back at Edward after a second. "You never come to watch."

I felt him shrug beside me. "I've seen pictures."

"Why don't you come, anyway?" I squeaked and I couldn't keep the hurt out of my voice. We had had this conversation a million times before, but every answer I got out of him was different, and I didn't know if I believed any of them. It was almost as though… almost as though he felt embarrassed to tell me the real reason. I wished he would just tell me the truth. Then I wouldn't feel this… frustration… the feeling that he was keeping something from me.

"I don't like skating," he said simply but, even though the words flowed easily and sounded honest enough, the excuse was like a line delivered by a skilled actor.

I sighed, and inhaled his delicious scent. "I wish you would come," I murmured eventually. "It would mean a lot to me."

"I'll come next time," he told me.

I nodded, but we both knew that he wouldn't. That was what he always said- next time. I promise. It made me more than a little sad that I had lost count of the number of times that he had broken the very same promise.

I looked at the clock then and saw that it was well past midnight- almost one o'clock. I turned to Edward. "You should go. I have to be at the rink at five thirty and I won't be able to sleep with you here."

He sat up and pulled me up with him, pulling me gently on to his lap once he had made one by crossing his legs. I fitted my spine into him and let him wrap his arms around me lovingly. "I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear. "Really, I am. I _will_ come this time. Promise."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just blinked furiously against the tears that I felt welling up and stroked his forearm with my index finger.

"Bella," he groaned. "I don't want to leave things between us on a bad note. Especially not on Valentines day." He planted a small kiss on the side of my neck and I giggled.

"I suppose it is Valentines day now," I said thoughtfully.

"Indeed it is. Which leaves me one thing to ask you before I go." He cleared his throat as though he were about to say something important, which made me laugh because we both knew what he was going to ask. He held my elbows and twisted me around so that I was facing him so that he could look sincerely into my eyes and say, "Bella Swan, will you do me the honour of becoming my valentine?"

I smiled. "Of course." Then I leant in to peck him on the cheek, taken fully by surprise when he turned his face to the side so that my lips collided with his. His arm snaked around my neck and pulled me closer to him, crushing our lips together. I gasped into his mouth but didn't move to stop the kiss at all. I mean, why would I do that?! I moved my lips heatedly against his desperately moving my hands up so that I could bury my fingers in his gorgeous bronze hair and tug on tufts of it. He groaned into my mouth and pushed my lips open with his own, sliding his tongue deftly in my mouth and stroking the top of my own tongue affectionately. I moaned as he pushed me backwards so that I was lying on my back and he was lying on top of me, being careful not to crush me. I didn't know what the hell was happening here, but _God_ I liked it.

"Bella," he breathed against my lips his right hand coming down to my hip, before recapturing my mouth with his and kissing me deeply. I took my hands out of his hair and moved them down his back until they were resting on his ass, making him groan into my mouth. My wandering hands prompted his to do the same and scrape up my side until they were lingering at my breasts.

I didn't know how long we kissed for before he eventually tore his lips from mine and pressed his forehead against me. We were both breathing deeply, our racing heartbeats mirroring the others. I tried to push my lips at him again, but he halted me by taking my chin in his hand and whispering, "You should sleep." Then, without giving me a chance to snap my sarcastic response at him, he was over by the window with one leg already halfway out.

I got off the bed and followed him. "Edward…" I started as he slipped his other leg out too, so that he was standing on my tiny veranda.

He looked back at me. "Yes?"

I looked into his eyes, and smiled at him. "Nothing. You're picking me up from here at four?"

He grinned right back. "On the dot." Then he winked. "See ya." He swung his leg over the railing between our verandas and waggled his fingers at me before disappearing back through his own window and into his own bedroom.

I shut the window with a smile and got back into bed, pressing my palm flat against the wall, knowing that not only was Edward's bed was pushed up right up against the same wall as mine, but also knowing that he would be doing the exact same thing. Ever since I had been tiny it had been one of the biggest comforts ever to think that there was just a wall between the two of us. And every night, without fail, I slept pressed against the wall with the distinct feeling that he was mirroring my position on the other side.

***

"C'mon Bella!" Jacob groaned when I tripped on my toe-pick for the fourth time that morning. "You're so unfocused this morning!"

"Am I?" I said in a falsely surprised voice; I was hardly about to tell _Jacob_ that my mind couldn't stop running over the kiss Edward and I had shared the night before. Nothing like that had ever happened before _ever_. True, we had a stupidly close relationship for 'friends' but never before had our relationship developed past falling asleep in each others arms or sharing the odd two-second kiss to put off someone who thought they had a chance of getting off with one of us.

"Uh… yeah!" Jacob stared at me like it should have been obvious. "Seriously, what happened to the perfect Bella? You've tripped, like, six times today!"

"Four," I defended myself indignantly, sweeping across the rink in a circle to prove that I could do it.

Jacob rolled his eyes and skated to my side, spraying ice at me as he skidded to a halt. "Try again?"

"Sure," I agreed, up for anything even though we had been here now for six hours straight. The both of us worked here at the rink in pretty much all of our spare time so that we could have the main rink to ourselves all of Sunday morning until midday when the lessons started. Sunday was occasionally a long day if we stayed after our session to help out with the kiddies lessons, but we weren't doing that today.

"Okay," Jake said confidently. "Go from the flip jump?"

I scowled. "No. I _can_ do that move, Jake. Go from the start. All the way through with no stumbles, no trips, no slips."

Jacob laughed his little laugh that can only be described as 'Jacoby' and grinned cockily at me. "If that's what you wanna do."

I nodded firmly. "It is."

Jake shook his head and slid over to the side of the rink where he grabbed the remote control for the radio and pressed play on the stereo. As soon as the introduction to our cut of _Love Story _by _Taylor Swift_ started, I took my place in the centre of the rink.

As I could have predicted, the routine went perfectly, at least as soon as I pasted Edward's face over Jake's so that I could get the right expression on my own face. Every jump, flip, lift… was perfect right down to timing the last second and landing on the right side of the blade and spinning at the exact right angle. It was as though there was something… special there with us. And I had a feeling that it had something to do with Edward.

"Time's up kids!" a voice called and Jacob and I looked up to see Lisa, the owner of the rink, grinning at us. "That was amazing, by the way, guys. I'm looking forward to that competition. The others don't stand a chance."

I smiled back, gliding smoothly to the exit, where Lisa stood, and pulling the tie out of my hair as I did so. "I don't think we have it in the bag just yet," I told her.

"Yeah; you should have seen the number of times Bella tripped this morning," Jake agreed with a laugh, tripping lightly to my side. Yeah, the both of us were graceful as swans on the ice; off it? Eh… not so much. Let's just say that my clumsiness had landed me in A&E a fair few times in my life, but I'd never had to be carried off of the ice on a stretcher.

"It wasn't that many times…" I said as I pulled on the pink laces that brightened up my old and, to be honest, fairly tatty skates. I had gotten a new pair for my last birthday, and they were lovely and comfy and everything, but I always wore these in training because of the sentimental value. Edward had gotten me my first pair of professional skates when I had turned thirteen, and luckily my feet had barely grown since. Edward had gotten me the florescent pink laces too, but that was more recently; I had told him how much I hated the colour so of course he had to buy them as a joke. He didn't know that the moment I had got home I had laced them into my boots, wanting to wear them just because he gave them to me.

"You want a drink before we go?" Jake offered as we walked out of the double doors that led to the rink and into the foyer.

I glanced at my watch. "Um…"

"C'mon!" he begged. "It's on me! Besides, I have something I wanna give you."

I bit my lip, hoping that he hadn't got me anything expensive, but found myself nodding at the same time. "I guess I can make time," I said.

Jake grinned his most Jacob-y grin and grabbed my hand leading me to the cafe that was part of the huge sports centre. Holding hands wasn't really a big deal for me and, even though I knew that it did mean something to Jacob, I didn't stop him from doing it. Because I knew that if I started to get funny about touching, how were we supposed to do pairs figure skating together? Really, that sport needed chemistry.

A few minutes later Jake and I were inhabiting the circular table in the corner of the cafe, overlooking the rink. I watched as the little kiddies stepped slowly on to the ice to start their lesson, my eye especially on little Keira. I knew that, as the usual teacher of this Sunday class, I wasn't supposed to have favourites but… well, sometimes you just couldn't help it, you know?

Jacob cleared his throat awkwardly, and I tore my eyes from the ice to look at him over my cream-laden hot chocolate. "Yeah?"

"I got you a little something for Valentines day," he said, a little awkwardly. "It's not much but…" He shrugged, and handed me a squashy, badly wrapped present.

I took the gift with my free hand and then put my drink down so I could open it. Once I had torn away the paper, I shook out the material that took the shape of a tight-fitting, long-sleeved navy blue top with a glittery white skate on the front. I grinned at him. "Thanks, Jake. That's really quite awesome."

He grinned back. "Well, you said you needed a new training top so… yeah. Check out the back."

I turned the top over to see the words 'Pro Skater' and then my name written in white calligraphy across the back. I laughed. "Thanks," I said again. Then, I looked around. "I think I left your present over there. Wait here." Then I stood up and went over to the desk, picking up a packet of Love Hearts and buying them. I went back to Jake and handed them over with a smile. "Happy valentines day."

Jacob rolled his eyes, and then ripped open the top, reading the first one before grinning and tossing it to me. "You better have that one," he said.

I flipped it over in my palm reading the inscription of _Pretty girl_ and then snorting once and dropping it into my hot chocolate.

"Ew," Jake muttered.

I looked up, expecting him to be 'ew'ing at me putting the candy in my drink, only to see him looking over my shoulder. My brow furrowed but before I could turn a pair of hands covered my eyes and a mouth was at my ear. "Guess who," a velvety voice whispered.

I giggled and pretended to think about it. "Um… is it Brad Pitt? Oh Brad, have you finally come to rescue me?!"

Edward laughed and let go of my eyes before flopping down in the empty seat next to me. "Not interrupting anything, am I?" he asked in a blasé way, looking directly at Jake in a way that can only be described as a little patronising.

I kicked him subtly under the table as Jacob sneered at him and said, "Not too much."

Edward smirked right back, ignoring my hint. "Good. Then you won't mind me taking Bella away for our _date_." The way he said that last word was heavy with implications and, though I knew he only said it in that way to wind Jake up, it stirred the memory of our kiss the night before and I wondered if this time he actually meant it…

"You were supposed to pick me up from my house at four, Edward," I said then before this could turn into another freaking bid for alpha male, "so I think I can stay for a while longer."

He just shrugged, casually swinging his arm over my shoulders in a gesture that was sweet, instantly sending my stomach into butterfly-central, but also more than a little possessive. I shot him a glare and leant forward to pick up my drink again, not bothering to try and shake his arm off though; it was far too nice. Comforting.

I licked the cream daintily off of my hot chocolate, and looked back down at the tots skating session, pretending not to notice the angry and egotistical silence that had descended on our table since Edward had turned up. Edward's arm was white-hot, the tips of his fingers gently caressing my bare shoulder in a way so intimate that I could have sworn that it should only be done behind closed doors. And that would have been nice had I not been able to feel Jacob's heated glare on the both of us when just a few moments ago he had been kidding around with me like the guy I knew he was.

I knew that I had to do something to settle the peace between the two of them before they started going at each others throats like dogs, but God knew that I couldn't be the one to do that. That would be one of the most unfair peace-settling ever because we all knew that I was biased, and _God_ did Edward use it to his advantage, waving me in front of Jake's face like I was his property. It must have been the equivalent to pissing on my leg and claiming me as his territory.

Yeah, the Edward that came out to play whenever Jake was around was possessive, annoying, egotistical… and, yet, still completely irresistible… Sigh.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aw :) Well, guys, this is the new story :D I hope that you liked that chapter**

**Before I get asked about it, I just want to say that, yes, their relationship is moving pretty fast but they've been best friends for years and these feelings have built up over time. I would write that but there are a million and one stories about that out there and I don't want to spend chapters and chapters on that when that is not the story.**

**And I want to say that I know that usually pairs skating is done to music without lyrics but I don't want to do that because… well, I think lyrics make music more interesting :) In this chapter, the Love Story song wasn't really all that significant- it was just the first love song that came into my head haha. There will be a link to each of the songs I use in this on my profile.**

**Also, I know that the summary makes it sound all angsty and sad but I don't intend for it to be that way. Just a happy little friendship-building fluffy story with a tiny bit of drama. I hope that's okay with you guys 'cos that's what I prefer to write :)**

**If you've come to read this from **_**The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson**_** then thank you so much- you're awesome ;) If not… um… go read it? Hahaha. Don't worry, I won't make you ;)**

**So I hope you liked this. Not many people have been introduced but this is only the start. The next chapter's in EPOV and, believe me, that boy has an interesting mind. Hahaha, I love this Edward. So far I think this story is gonna be a little more raunchier than THWTLAL but not enough to go up a rating- I'm a 'T' girl, you know that ;)**

**So if you want a little insight into the egotistical Eddie's mind… please review?**

**If you never know what to write, then I love to hear what bits/lines you liked or the bits that made you laugh :)**

**Thanks so much guys!**

**Steph**


	2. Chapter 2: All's Fair in Love and War

**Previously…**

_I knew that I had to do something to settle the peace between the two of them before they started going at each others throats like dogs, but God knew that I couldn't be the one to do that. That would be one of the most unfair peace-settling ever because we all knew that I was biased, and God did Edward use it to his advantage, waving me in front of Jake's face like I was his property. It must have been the equivalent to pissing on my leg and claiming me as his territory._

_Yeah, the Edward that came out to play whenever Jake was around was possessive, annoying, egotistical… and, yet, still completely irresistible… Sigh._

********

_Maybe I'm your Mr Right, baby,_

_Maybe I'm the wrong you like._

_Maybe I'm the shot in the dark and you're the morning light._

_Maybe this is sad but true, but baby,_

_Maybe you've got nothing to lose._

_You could be the best of me when I'm the worst for you._

_**-Mr Right, A Rocket to the Moon**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 2- All's Fair in Love and War**

**Edward POV**

I woke at the usual Sunday time of four thirty in the morning when I heard Bella's alarm blare through the wall. I smiled into my pillow and rolled onto my stomach, picturing her sleeping through it as she always did. I reached out and grabbed my mobile phone, opening a blank text and typing:

_Rise and shine sleeping beauty ;)_

A few seconds later, the stupidly loud alarm was shut off and my phone buzzed with a reply:

_Thanks prince charming. C u at 4 x_

I smiled, wondering why my ringtone could do what her alarm clock couldn't. Then, I sent Bella back a single x and slid my phone back onto my desk before shutting my eyes and rolling back on to my back.

***

"Alice!" I hollered through the door five hours later. "You've been in there for hours!"

"_One_ hour!" she called back. "Not a plural Edward!"

"C'mon!" I whined. "Some of us have to use the bathroom too!"

"Use my en-suite," she said.

"But my razor's in _this_ bathroom!"

"Tough luck I have to have this bath to relax me for when Jazzy gets here at eleven!"

I grinned evilly. "Al?"

"What now?"

"You know it's half ten right?"

She was quiet for a moment, and then she cursed quietly and I heard the sloshing of water that was the tell-tale sign of her finally getting out of the bath. A moment later the door opened and Alice came out, a towel wrapped round her tiny body and another round her head.

"Morning," I said brightly as she whipped past me, cussing over and over again under her breath.

She didn't stop. "Whatever."

I chuckled to myself and locked myself in the steamy bathroom, waiting for the inevitable shriek that would come when she realised that I had lied and it was in fact half past nine.

"Edward! Learn to tell the time will ya?!" she shouted a moment later.

I rolled my eyes and wrote Bella's name in the condensation in the mirror, just because I felt like it, before rubbing it off with the flat of my palm and looking at my reflection. There was a light in my green eyes that I hadn't seen before and I just knew that it was because of the kiss Bella and I had shared the night before.

I still didn't know why the heck I had initiated it, but hell I knew that I had liked it. Okay, that was the understatement of the century. I had loved it. Almost as much as I loved the girl herself. I still remembered the first day I had seen her as more than a friend. I had been twelve – you know, the age you start to get self-conscious? – and had gotten a peek of her teeny tiny, but still sexy as hell, cleavage, and my heart had jumped up into my chest. I had been disappointed when she flushed her usual deep red and stopped being so open in front of me (yeah, pun intended). Perhaps a little perverted, I know, but I was a newly hormone-riddled kid- my instant crush had been only natural. At first I had been mortified to think of my best friend in that way, but over time the embarrassment had given way to more… soft feelings. Said feelings still hadn't reached their peak.

Fortunately, Bella was a lot more open with me now. I could be lying on her bed and she'd occasionally stand there in her underwear asking my opinion on which dress would be better for her next routine. Mind you, you had to be fairly open when you were a figure skater- for God's sake have you _seen_ some of the things they wear?! On the other hand, I had a bit of testosterone under my belt now so maybe it would be better if she wasn't so open?

Just thinking about Bella in her undies was a mistake. I tutted at myself, and flipped the shower dial to the coldest setting I could stand.

Again.

***

The rain spattered against the windscreen of my Volvo as I looked up at the centre in front of me. I pressed the little green call button and held my phone to my ear as the dialling tone rang. "Hey Eddie," Emmett said when he answered. "What can I do for ya this time?"

"Weelll…" I said, dragging the word out and choosing to ignore the nickname. "I wanted to ask you a favour."

"Shoot," Emmett said.

"See, I'm taking Bella out for valentines…"

"As usual," Emmett inserted. "Are you actually gonna tell her this time Eddie?"

I felt my face heat up as I said, "Yes, but that's beside the…"

"Holy mole!" he interrupted again, sounding genuinely shocked. "You're actually going to tell the fair maiden about your teensy, tiny, obviously _completely _insignificant problem?"

My brow furrowed then. "What problem? I don't have a problem."

"Edward. The teensy tiny insignificant problem being that you want to jump her bones… and maybe even have feelings for her?"

"Oh," I conceded. "That problem. No, I'm just gonna tell her that I like her. As more than a friend. Anyway, I called to ask if you'd mind delivering us some pizza?"

"Nuh-uh," Emmett refused; though I expected as much. "Don't even go there, Eddie. I don't do free trips for buddies."

"It's not free," I offered. "Twenty bucks?"

Emmett scoffed. "Puh-lease. I make more than that per delivery on a bad night."

"Twenty-five?"

"Higher."

I sighed. "Thirty?"

"Done." I could almost hear his smirk.

"Jeez you're not cheap."

Emmett laughed. "Yeah, but I bet I'm the only one who delivers to the back seat of your car- which, by the way, is a totally cliché place to pop her cherry, dude."

I tried not to let my mind wander there because when my mind went _there_, and trust me it did that a lot, my body reacted in the same way any teenage guy's would. To say it was embarrassing was an understatement. "Emmett! We won't be doing _that_! But, yeah, that's where I want the pizza."

"It'll be a meat feast, right?"

"You know me so well." I grinned. "Thanks, Em. I'll pay you next time I see you."

"You better," Emmett said. "Or I'll start to charge interest."

I laughed. "See ya."

Emmett said bye and then hung up. I slipped my phone into the pocket of my jeans with a grin; there were definitely advantages in having a friend in the pizza industry- even if he was only a delivery guy.

I climbed out of my car then, blipped it with the key ring and looked up at the centre with nervous butterflies in my stomach. As I walked through the large double doors of the sports centre, I couldn't help but remember the worst time I had come here. Every time I walked through the doors, I remembered.

It was Bella's seventeenth and she had decided against a party. However, she had begged me to come skating with her even though I had told her time and time again how much I disliked it. I hated having to tell her that when I had to see the pain in her eyes but it was way better than telling her the truth. Maybe I would one day. Just… not today.

In the weeks leading up to her birthday, she had worn me right down until I agreed to go; only after she promised that it'd be just the two of us. And I had to admit that the first bit of the skating session had been amazing. I had managed to stay on my feet and Bella was even trying to teach me some moves. She had been so pleased that I was there with her, and that day had been the first time that I had wondered if she felt the same things for me as I felt for her. The look in her eyes on that day was still one of the main reasons why I was going to tell her my real feelings tonight.

But then, everything had gone wrong. Jacob had crashed the party, claiming that he had 'just come to skate' and 'oh wow what a super-freaky coincidence'. The dog. Even then, though, Bella had spent her time patiently teaching me how to skate backwards (change your centre of gravity) smiling and encouraging, like the perfect teacher. Or sometimes her manner reminded me of a proud parent. When Bella turned her back for a split second though, Jacob stuck his foot out and tripped me up. And that was that. I made some excuse about slipping as she worriedly called my Mum to take me to A&E.

When I got the chance to confront the bastard about it though, with three frickin broken fingers no less, he just shrugged before smiling patronisingly at me and saying, "All's fair in love and war."

Since then, our already hate-filled relationship had become a battle of egos, two hormonal teenagers fighting for a girl. I mean, not like that hadn't been our relationship before Bella's birthday, but afterwards it wasn't so… unacknowledged. After the 'party' we had become very open about hating each other. The thing was, I was totally winning and we both knew it. Only that made Jacob fight harder. But that was okay; it's no fun fighting someone that forfeits.

I wandered through the foyer and then quietly pushed open the door that led to the auditorium overlooking the main rink. I tip-toed across the bleachers, so as not to alert them to my presence, and sat down on a seat near to the front. Bella was talking to Jake, waving her arms around to illustrate her point.

Jacob laughed and then grinned at her. "If that's what you wanna do," he said, his deep voice echoing off of the ice in a way that Bella's didn't.

She nodded determinedly and slid to the middle of the rink as Jacob came to the side that I was sat on. He grabbed the remote control from where it sat on the handrail and then looked up. He caught my eye and blinked in surprise for a moment; I never came to the rink when he was here- not even for shows, let alone rehearsals. Then Jacob regained his composure and smirked at me, hitting play and then turning to start their routine in sync with Bella.

The moment the music started, though, Jacob was forgotten. All I could see was Bella as she lost her usual clumsiness and became graceful in every movement she made. I couldn't move my eyes from her; she was even more beautiful when she was skating. But that was because she was happy, and everyone knows that happiness is beauty.

As I watched, I wondered how she could possibly believe that I hated to watch her do this. True, that was what I had insisted time and time again, but it was so, _so_ far from the truth. See, the truth was that I loved skating. And the real reason that I couldn't bear to watch her perfect routines was that turning down the lessons all those years ago had been the biggest mistake of my life. Not only that, but watching Jacob Black hold her that close to him made me want to hit something. Or someone. More precisely, I wanted to hit _him_.

I wished more than ever that my seven-year-old self had realised that image doesn't matter. That being 'cool' isn't as important as being yourself. Because the reason that I turned down the few free lessons that the rink had offered when it had first opened was because skating was 'girly'. Bella had begged me to be her partner and I had gone to one of the free lessons, but when I turned up, I was the only guy there. And so the merciless teasing commenced.

So I bowed out of lessons, much to Bella's disappointment. She had tried to quit too, not wanting to branch out of her comfort zone and do something without me, but the teacher had told her that she had a natural talent – despite being the clumsiest person on earth when on normal ground – and so her Mum persuaded her not to give up. Which was great. Because she had found her partner and had won numerous pairs competitions, only one of which I had actually seen. I didn't go to any more after that one because when I sat there in the auditorium – one of so, so many people who were cheering them both on – all that could go through my head was: _that should have been me._ So I stopped going, telling her it bored me. It just astounded me that she would believe my lies so easily.

As the song ended and they slowed to a stop, Lisa the rink owner, called out to them and they skated to the edge of the rink, Bella pulling at the bright pink laces on her scruffy old boots. That made me smile; she still wore the skates I had bought her. I wasn't sure why – since she had got some much nicer ones now – but it made me beam all the same.

I watched as the little kiddies piled on to the now-empty rink, shrieking and stumbling and laughing. I wondered which was Keira, the one Bella always talked about. She had described her as the smallest of the group, but the strongest skater so I guessed that I just had to watch for a moment to find out. After a moment I had picked her out amongst the kids. My eyes zoned in on the smallest of the children and I watched her skate, seeing the talent in her carefully placed steps. She showed off a little to her friend, skipping on the toe pick and doing some dancy steps before twirling on one foot.

When Lisa came on to the ice, calling order to the party of small children, I glanced up at the window of the cafe above the rink, smiling when I saw Bella sat in the window seat watching the kiddies. I stared at her until she looked away – probably back at _him_ – and then I got up and headed to the cafe to join them. Or at least make a few little digs at Jacob.

I walked into the cafe just as he passed her a love heart, making my eyes narrow. She dropped it in her drink and laughed as Jacob looked up and saw me. He wrinkled his nose and his light smile turned into a deep-set frown. I put my hands over Bella's eyes. "Guess who," I whispered in her ear.

She pretended to think about it. "Um… is it Brad Pitt? Oh Brad, have you finally come to rescue me?"

I laughed lightly, before taking the seat on Bella's left side. Then, I taunted Jacob until Bella gave me the silent treatment and looked back down at the rink.

Jacob and I shared a glaring contest while Bella sat under my arm glaring at her drink in annoyance. After a long moment, she turned back to me and asked, as though she couldn't resist, "Where are we even going this afternoon?"

"It's a surprise," I replied smoothly.

She scowled. "I hate surprises."

I watched her mouth as it moved around her words, her tongue darting out to lick her full bottom lip. As the urge to lean down and run my tongue over her lip as well prompted me to lift my gaze to her eyes, I couldn't help but wonder whether the kiss last night had come as a surprise to her, and, if it had, whether she had hated that particular surprise. The way she stared almost _too_ intensely – I say almost because nothing Bella did could ever be too intense – into my eyes was like she was telling me that that had been one surprise that hadn't bothered her in the slightest. But, then again, I didn't doubt that Bella would be fine with anything I did.

Jacob sighed and Bella and I looked at him as he stood up. "See you later, Bella."

"Jake, you don't have to…"

"I don't want to sit here and watch as _he_ monopolises your attention," he snapped, shooting a dark look at me.

I smirked. "It's not my fault I'm nicer to look at."

Bella pushed my arm off of her shoulder; her way of telling me that I had taken it too far now. "Please stay, Jake," she said.

"I'm good, thanks. Some of us have things to do anyway. See you later," he repeated.

Bella bit her lip as he started to walk off. "Thanks for the present!" she called after him.

"No problem," he called back, and then he was gone.

"Aah," I breathed, slinging my arm back across Bella's shoulders. "That's better."

She shook my arm off again. "That was rude," she scolded angrily. Her brow puckered in that way it did when she was trying to be mad. "Believe it or not, Edward, Jake is my _friend_."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't think of you as a friend."

She blushed. "I know. But he knows that I only think of _him_ as a friend."

"Does he? Really, Bella?" I grinned at her as she shoved at my shoulder.

"You're an asshole," she muttered.

I laughed. "But that's why you love me."

Her blush deepened, and I felt my heartbeat pick up as she lifted my arm and draped it around her shoulders again.

"What's all this about a present anyway?" I wondered suddenly.

Bella gestured to the table. "Jake got me a valentines day present."

I picked up the top she had gestured to and shook it out with a scowl on my face.

"What?" Bella asked when she saw the scowl. "Don't you like it?"

"No, that's not it," I said. I would have lied and told her that blue just wasn't her colour but that would have been a crime-like thing to say. Besides, I liked her in blue very much. Unfortunately, so did 'little Eddie'.

"Then what is wrong with it?"

"Nothing, it's a nice present," I said honestly. Even though that was what _was_ wrong with it. This was something that Bella would really like. A lot of thought had gone into it. And that was what was wrong with it. Jacob couldn't one-up me. Ever.

Bella eyed me suspiciously and then she grinned like a cat that had gotten the cream. "I know," she said triumphantly. "You just don't like that Jacob got me something nice."

"That's not it," I lied.

She laughed. "It so is!" Then she lay her head on my chest. "Don't be embarrassed; I think that's sweet."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't call me sweet, Bellie."

"Don't call me Bellie, Eddie." She looked up again and kissed my cheek, her own burning at the contact, no doubt remembering last night. "It doesn't matter, though. You'll always be first place with me."

I smiled, though that smile didn't reflect the true way my spirits soared. "And you're my first, too."

She stared at me in sarcastic amazement. "Really? I'd have thought I would be second."

"To whom?"

"Jacob, of course." She grinned as I poked her arm where my hand sat on her shoulder.

"Isn't it the other way round? I'm second to Jacob?" I muttered bitterly.

She caught my chin in her hand and looked deeply into my eyes. "How can you even think that?! You're my best friend; you don't come second to no one… except maybe for Brad Pitt," she tacked on as an afterthought. "But we all know Brad's unbeatable."

"Bet he can't kiss like I can," I said after a second. It was the first time either of us had brought it up and I had only done it because, I had to admit, I was curious of how she'd react to my forwardness, especially when she was so shy.

She blushed bright red and averted her eyes for so long that I thought that she was going to pretend she hadn't heard me. Eventually, she looked back at me and said, "I'd be willing to agree… but I'd need more experience." Her voice was thick with implications and I was thrilled that she was playing along.

I reached my hand around the back of her neck and pressed my forehead against hers. "Really? Because that can be arranged…" I touched my lips to hers and ran my fingers gently through her hair. She started to move her lips against mine but I broke the kiss before it could turn into much.

She moved her head back so she could see my face. "What's the matter?" she asked softly, sensing that something was wrong even though I hadn't shown it.

I smiled slightly. "This is weird for you, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

I kissed her lips again. "That. You feel uncomfortable when I do that, don't you?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Yes," she said slowly, and I felt my heart sink. But then she smiled and added, "But only because I'm waiting for you to do this." And then she moved closer and pressed her lips to mine. _She_ didn't pull away like I had. She pushed closer and moved her lips fluidly and passionately against mine, gently sucking on my bottom lip and scraping her teeth along it, making me shiver. _God_ she was good at this.

I pulled away first, cradling her face in my palm. "I have to go," I murmured.

"But you only just got here." She pouted at me, and it was so adorable that I had to grin.

"I know. I should have kept going but I was passing by and I couldn't just go on past without dropping in."

She frowned a little then. "You've never come in before. The last time you came was at my birthday and the time before that… _was_ there even a time before that?"

"Well, I came when we were seven?"

"That doesn't count," she sighed. "Why did you come? Was it just to wind up Jacob? Because that's not very nice, I…"

I put my hand over her mouth. "I wanted to see you, okay?" I looked away, wondering whether now was a good time to admit that I had come a lot more frequently than she thought. I came almost every week and just sat in the auditorium and watched her skate; only when she was alone, though. I very rarely came when Jacob was with her because, like I said earlier, that just hurt. It had taken a while to realise that normal people weren't like this with their best friends, that the way my heart sped up when I saw her wasn't normal for best friends. It had taken a while to realise that I was completely and utterly obsessed with my best friend.

"Really?" Bella didn't look like she believed me.

I laughed. "No, I came so I could gaze into Jacob's eyes…"

She giggled.

I stroked her cheek, causing blood to shoot up and colour it in the most beautiful way. "That's what I came for."

"What?"

"To hear you giggle, to see you blush," I responded truthfully. I tore my eyes away from her then and glanced at the clock.

Bella ruffled my hair. "Go on, get outta here. I can tell you want to."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to go, but I do want to make this the best Valentines Day ever."

"Ooh, last year will be hard to beat," she said sarcastically.

"Hey, you told me you had fun washing the car."

"I_ was_ having fun… until you poured freezing cold water over my head."

"That was only because you sprayed the hose at me," I reminded her.

"And why did I do that Mr Cullen?" she laughed.

I frowned, pretending not to remember how I had initiated the play-fight. "Because you were bi-polar?"

"Or maybe because you swapped the clean soapy water for a bucket full of baked beans when we moved on to clean _my_ brand new car?"

I laughed, choosing not to comment on the 'brand new' thing; nobody could call her Chevy new, but she didn't like any hating on her truck. "Wasn't that April first?"

"Would have been a lot more appropriate for April fools day, but, no, Edward, it was Valentines Day."

"Well, today will be better than that, I promise," I told her. I stood up and bent over her to give her a chaste kiss. "I'll be at yours in four hours."

"I'll be there," she said with a smile, squeezing my hand tightly over the back of her chair before letting it go fairly reluctantly. "Four thirty!" she called after me as I walked off. "Don't be late!"

I grinned back at her, walking backwards out of the cafe. "I won't be." I blew her a kiss. "See you later!" Then I walked right into an elderly couple. "I am so sorry…" I started to say as they shot me filthy looks and walked on by. I sighed and glanced back at Bella but she was laughing too much to see my wave. I smiled, and headed back to my car.

Once I was in the drivers' seat, I pulled the instructions out of the glove box and read them studiously. Maybe I should call Bella and warn her that I might be late after all; it seemed putting up a tent would be harder than it seemed.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Guesses as to Edward's chosen location ;)**

**I hope you guys liked the little insight into Eddie's mind :D I actually adore writing this Edward so it's a shame that his mind'll be kind of... different soon :S Ah, well, he'll be the same guy just minus the memories ;)**

**:O Thank you all so much for all of the reviews guys! Almost 100 for the first chapter- that's totally awesome :D**

**OMC I'm super super excited- first Eclipse trailer any day now!!!! :D And NM DVD in exactly two weeks :D:D:D**

**Again, I have nothing more to say so… please review? Any fave lines this time round? I know I have a few hahaha**

**Thank you :)**

**Steph**


	3. Chapter 3: Say Cheese

**Previously…**

"_Four thirty!" she called after me as I walked off. "Don't be late!"_

_I grinned back at her, walking backwards out of the cafe. "I won't be." I blew her a kiss. "See you later!" Then I walked right into an elderly couple. "I am so sorry…" I started to say as they shot me filthy looks and walked on by. I sighed and glanced back at Bella but she was laughing too much to see my wave. I smiled, and headed back to my car._

_Once I was in the drivers' seat, I pulled the instructions out of the glove box and read them studiously. Maybe I should call Bella and warn her that I might be late after all; it seemed putting up a tent would be harder than it seemed._

********

_The way you take my hand is just so sweet;_

_And that crooked smile of yours; it knocks me off my feet._

_Oh I just can't get enough; how much do I need to fill me up?_

_It feels so good, it must be love; it's everything that I've been dreaming of._

_I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin;_

'_Cos no matter what I do, oh, my heart is filled with you._

_**-You Got Me, Colbie Caillat**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 3- Say Cheese**

**Bella POV**

Alice beamed at me and held up her camera, snapping a picture. I shuffled uncomfortably as the flash lit the room like lightening. "Is this really necessary, Alice?" I asked.

"Of course it is!" she cried. "You have to look gorgeous for my brother, don't you?"

"I meant the photos," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Besides, Edward is my best friend; I highly doubt how I look really matters to him all that much."

Alice snapped another photo from the same bloody angle. "You'd be surprised," she said.

Alice was Edward's sister- younger than both of us by just a little under a year. Even though Alice and I were polar opposites we got on really well and she was my best friend- besides Edward, of course. If there was someone I needed to ask for advice, I would go to Alice. Actually, that was a lie. Alice came to me. She was almost psychic in the way that she knew when I needed someone to talk to that wasn't Edward. Needless to say, most of these conversations concerned Edward and the teeny little crush I had on him. I hadn't told her about either of the kisses or the nightly visits simply because those seemed more personal - something that only Edward and I knew about – but she knew about how I felt about her brother. At first, I had been embarrassed to tell her, but she had been all for me dating her brother and helped me every step of the way which was great in some ways – considering that I had the hugest crush in the world on this guy – but a little weird when you remembered that he was her brother.

"But, Alice," I whined. "He sees me every day of his life; I hardly think my outfit matters."

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter to him as such. But the way you dress certainly helps if you want to appeal to a… _different_ part of him." She winked at me with a grin.

I cringed and blushed bright red. "Alice!" I shrieked. "He's my best friend; I don't think about him in that way!"

She shot me a look that clearly said: _you're an awful liar_ and continued to take photos.

"But… he's your brother! Seriously, Alice." I shook my head, trying to shake those thoughts from my mind.

"Don't even try to deny it, you like him like him. As in the way where you have_ those_ kind of dreams about him and when you wake you wish they were real." Her tone implied almost as much as the sultry wink she shot me.

My blush deepened because hell yeah, she was totally right.

"Told you so," Alice said smugly.

I glanced at the clock; just ten minutes to go… as long as Edward wasn't late. Although that was like saying as long as pigs fly (I hate that cliché- if pigs ever learn to fly, a lot of shit's going to happen…). And I knew Edward well enough to know that, yeah, he was gonna leave me to face this torture for an extra… ooh, at least five minutes before he turned up with that adorable guilty expression all over his face that made my legs turn to mush.

"Blue is so your colour, Bella," Alice commented then and I looked in the mirror. Alice had dressed me in an electric blue scoop-necked top that came down to mid-thigh and 'showed enough cleavage to show off what I had but still play up the eye' (Alice's words) and a pair of black leggings. I had a midnight blue jumper to go over the top of that as well- in case I got cold. It was practical _and_ pretty.

Alice had also spent ages applying make-up to my face. When she was putting it on, it felt like there was so much of it smothered onto my face that I half-expected to look in the mirror and see a white-faced clown staring back at me. Which was why I was a little surprised to see that the changes that the make-up had made to my face only made the subtlest of differences; a little more glow here and there, more defined eyes and high cheekbones, and a little woodsy brown daubed around my eyes to bring out the colour.

"There." Alice snapped the final photo. "That should be enough."

I rolled my eyes. "What are you actually gonna do with all of these pictures?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. But you'll thank me for taking them one day." She grinned.

I opened my mouth to shoot a sarcastic response at her, but said response was forgotten when the doorbell rang. I looked at the clock and then back at Alice. "Five minutes early?"

"Can't be him," she said with a shake of her head.

I laughed, but opened the door and peered down the stairs anyway as Charlie opened the door to reveal Edward, who was beaming like I'd never seen him, and was dressed in the jeans he only wore for special occasions and a brand-new-looking button-up black shirt. "Hey Charlie," he said evenly.

I took the bag Alice held out to me and headed down the stairs as Charlie said, "Aren't you supposed to get here for half four?"

"Yeah, I'm early. Shocker." Edward smiled and then glanced up and saw me. His smile got bigger and my lips turned up in response, just like in those cheesy chick flicks.

"Hey," I muttered, suddenly a little shy, which was just insane; why was I shy?!

He took my free hand and pulled me close for a hug. "You look gorgeous."

"I'm afraid I can't say it was all my doing," I told him, as Alice jumped lithely off of the last stair and snapped a picture of the both of us.

"Yeah, let's go." Edward shuffled uncomfortably under the lens of the camera.

Alice rolled her eyes. "You two are too similar for your own good."

"Thank you Alice," I said gesturing to my clothes, before twisting myself out of Edward's embrace and hugging Charlie. "See you later, Dad."

Dad just looked at Edward. "Take care of her."

Edward grinned. "Don't I always?"

"Sure, but I'd feel bad if I didn't give you a reminder," Charlie said. "Have fun kids."

And then Edward all but dragged me toward his Volvo. Well, I thought, here goes nothing.

***

"Can I look yet?" I asked impatiently, tugging at the scarf that covered my eyes. "This is itchy!"

"No!" Edward pulled my hand down from the scarf, his voice masking a laugh at my complaints. "It's a surprise."

I sighed. "You know I don't like surprises."

"Yes, we had that conversation this morning." His tone was like I imagined it would be with a small child.

I sighed again and fell silent, letting him lead me gently along some kind of path. It smelt… woodsy and the ground underfoot felt kind of soft, but there was the occasional snapping sound, like a branch, so I presumed we were in some kind of forest. Which was nice and all but… romantic?

Then, Edward pulled me to a stop and his hands were brushing across my neck, heading toward the scarf. He pulled my back close to his stomach and his lips swept across the back of my neck replacing his hands and making me shiver slightly. Both of us were silent as he untied the scarf, my silence a patient kind of silence and his a more nervous anticipating one.

After a moment, the scarf fell away and I blinked before taking in the sight that was before me. He had brought me to the meadow we had discovered together on a hike when we were thirteen. It was the most beautiful place in the world- perfectly round and covered in wild flowers all of different colours. In the middle was a heap of stuff.

"I thought that it would be better to do something simple…" he explained in a whisper. "And this place was the only simple one I could think of that had any kind of meaning. We can go somewhere else if you want to, though…"

"No," I whispered back. "This is perfect." Then I pointed to the heap of stuff in the middle. "But what is that?"

Edward looked up. "Um… well, it's supposed to be a tent. But… well, have you ever tried putting one up by yourself?"

I laughed and turned round in his arms. "We're camping out all night?"

He shrugged. "If you want."

I nodded. "Let's sleep under the stars," I suggested. "Screw tents- they're so overrated."

"If you want to." He still sounded a little uncertain of my reaction, even though I had just told him how perfect it was.

"Edward," I sighed. "Honestly, this is better than anything I could have thought up."

His face lit up when he heard the transparent honesty in my tone. "Really?"

"Really."

We used the tent as a ground sheet and made beds on top of it, chatting about this and that as we did so. When we were all set up, Edward produced a picnic hamper from the heap of crap he had brought along and poured us each a cup of hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and the lot.

"Is this our dinner then?" I asked as twilight **(:O Twilight! Lol) **started to set in, the sun slowly sinking past the horizon. I dug through the hamper, pulling out the food Edward had packed. "Tons of marshmallows, some hot chocolate, several billion cans of squirty cream and all of this sugary crap?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Of course not." He held his mobile phone up. "When this buzzes, it means that there's a pizza waiting back at my car. That crap's a midnight snack."

I laughed. "You really planned everything, didn't you? Although…" I tailed off.

"Although?"

I smiled at him. "I do kind of miss the car washing."

"You're impossible," he muttered, tossing me a bar of Hershey's chocolate from the hamper.

For a moment, we sat eating chocolate in peace. Edward sidled closer and I snuggled into his side, shutting my eyes and leaning against him.

"Can I ask you something?" I broke the peace and quiet first.

"Shoot."

I swallowed, instantly nervous. I took his hand in mine and started to trace circles on his palm as I said slowly, "Last night… why… what…" I sighed and tried again. "That kiss." I looked up at him nervously. "What did it mean?"

Edward stared at our entwined hands, his face carefully emotionless. Then he looked at me. "What do you want it to mean?"

I wasn't sure what to say. Did I admit to him that I wanted it to be an unspoken promise of forever? That I wanted him to have the same feelings as I did? That I loved him more than life itself? Instead I just rested my head against his chest and mumbled, "Don't dodge my question."

"You're dodging mine," he pointed out.

I fisted our hands together. "That's because I don't think I can live without you," I breathed quietly, hoping that he hadn't heard me.

Edward was silent for a long time and then the arm around me tightened and he murmured, "Bella, I…" But he was interrupted by his phone buzzing. He picked it up off the ground. "What Em?"

I could hear Emmett's booming voice from where I was sat. "Where are you?" he demanded. "I've found your car but you and Bella aren't here. Please don't tell me that this is a trick and you two are really at home bonking in bed or…"

"Emmett!" Edward interrupted, a hint of pink colouring his cheeks.

I giggled.

"No, it's not a trick," Edward said to Emmett. "The back left door is open- leave it on the back seat and I'll come get it in a second."

"Yes, Sir," Emmett said mockingly. "And Eddie?"

"What now?"

"Don't forget to be safe!" Emmett sang and then he was gone.

Edward glared at his phone and then slid it back into his pocket. "Ignore him. He…"

"Thinks that we're really 'at home bonking in bed'?" I suggested with a grin.

"You heard that?"

"Edward, Jacob probably heard him over in La Push." I regretted that the moment it was out and Edward's embarrassed expression dissolved into an irritated one at the mention of Jake's name. I bit my lip and climbed onto his lap, twisted so that I was facing him. Almost automatically, his arms came round my back and he held me up as I looked into his eyes. We stayed like that for a long time, neither of us making a move or a sound until I leant forward and rested my head on his shoulder.

Edward sighed. "I should go and get our pizza before it goes cold."

I tightened my hold on his shirt. "Don't go anywhere; I'm comfy."

He chuckled lightly in my ear and his sexy little laugh really turned me on. Damn him.

"Can I ask you something?" I repeated my words from earlier.

"Um… I guess." He was more hesitant this time; probably because my last question had been so awkward.

"Why don't you like Jacob?" I whispered without looking up. "I mean, I get why he doesn't like you, but why don't you like him?"

"You want the honest answer?" Edward asked, and it sounded like he was going to finally, finally tell me the truth.

I looked up at his face and nodded earnestly.

He flopped on to his back, making me lose my balance and fall on top of him. I slid gingerly up his body and looked at his face as he stared up at the clouds and said, "Because he's got you."

It took a moment for me to absorb that. Then I frowned. "No he doesn't. He…"

"Not like that," Edward cut me off before I could start arguing. His long, piano fingers played through the grass by his side nervously. Then he sent me an almost sarcastic smile. "He gets to hold you, Bella. Gets to go out there with you by his side."

My frown deepened. "Edward, that means nothing."

"Maybe not to you. And maybe not even to him. But what about the spectators? They sit and watch you two and all they see is the two of you. They don't think about a third wheel somewhere out there. They just think that you're his and vice versa." He sighed. "Forget it. This just sounds confusing."

"No," I said stubbornly. "What do you _mean_?" I sat up and looked at him from his side. "I'm not Jacob's property."

"_I_ know that. But other people don't."

"What, you want me to write 'Not property of Jacob Black' on my forehead?" I asked sarcastically. My tone was more scathing than I meant it to be.

Edward sat up too. "No. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. We just don't get on, that's all. Let's not fight."

I shut my eyes so he couldn't use his voodoo powers on me like he always did when he made eye contact. "I don't want to fight with you," I said evenly. "I just want to know what you mean!"

Edward was silent for a moment, and then he said, "Don't open your eyes."

I heard him sorting through some of the stuff he had brought to the meadow and curiosity made me want to peek, but I did as I was told and kept my eyes shut. A moment later, I felt a slight pressure against my forehead. I frowned and opened my mouth to ask him what he was doing.

"Don't move," he instructed, so I sighed and shut my mouth again.

After a while, the pressure on my forehead went away and Edward said, "You can open your eyes now."

I opened my eyes and lifted my hand to my forehead. "What did you do?"

He smiled at me and took his phone out of his pocket. "Say cheese."

"Say what? Oh." I smiled when he held his phone up to take a photo and waited as he snapped a picture. Then I shuffled round to his side to look at the photo. He exited the screen and tossed the phone to me.

"I'm going to get the pizza," he said as he walked off.

I rolled my eyes and navigated carefully through the various apps he had on his phone. I had stolen this thing a lot so I knew what I was doing and it didn't take me long to find the most recent photo he had taken. I opened it and blinked at the picture of me on the screen. I wore my traditional cheesy grin, my eyes curious and my head cocked to the side like a puppy. Then, I zoomed into my forehead and read what Edward had written there in black marker pen: _Property of Edward Cullen_.

I smiled and shook my head, before sending it to my own phone and then setting it as Edward's screensaver.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Well… I am so sorry that I didn't update for so long. I just… how can I put it… completely fell out with this story? :L lol. No, I just wrote and wrote and wrote for ages and then I went back to read it and it just seemed absolutely shit. So this chapter's been sitting in my little folder for about 3 weeks and I've been ignoring it because I hated it so much XD But then I realised that I'm abusing it and should probably update so I opened it up and read it through and made a few alterations. Now it's not so bad but I'm bad for holding grudges so I still don't like it lol.**

**Huge thank you to Laura because it was her that told me to post this XD You all owe her big time ;) Well, that's presuming you like this story… if not then… um… well… why are you reading? Lol**

**Okay, so regarding the poll thing which is on my profile, I have come up with a new plan. It is the easter holidays here as of Thursday for me, so during those two weeks, I am going to do as much writing as I possibly can but not too much updating. Then, hopefully, I'll be relatively ahead when my Mum won't let me write a single word that doesn't count as revision and will still be able to post updates :) Not sure how that will work, but so far so good for Victim of a Teenage Nobody. Yeah, I'm like five chapters ahead or something crazy like that for that one :)**

**OMC! This is totally off-topic but the last episode of Glee aired here in the UK last night and wow. I miss it already. I'm scared of how much I love that program :S Seriously, the cheesiness, the happy skipping around and singing thing, Rachel and her annoyingness… Glee should be something I don't really like or at least something I'm indifferent toward… but no. It's got me addicted XD Can't wait for the second series… sigh XD**

**Okay… back to the story lol. What did you think of this chapter? Meadow was very predictable, I know but hey, this is Edward ;) Well, I hope you liked it more than I did…**

**Please tell me your thoughts! I actually love to hear your favourite quotes or parts etc. I don't know why. It's just nice to know what I'm doing right, I guess :)**

**Thank you all for staying with me!**

**Steph**


	4. Chapter 4: Seal of a Promise

**Previously…**

_He smiled at me and took his phone out of his pocket. "Say cheese."_

"_Say what? Oh." I smiled when he held his phone up to take a photo and waited as he snapped a picture. Then I shuffled round to his side to look at the photo. He exited the screen and tossed the phone to me._

"_I'm going to get the pizza," he said as he walked off._

_I rolled my eyes and navigated carefully through the various apps he had on his phone. I had stolen this thing a lot so I knew what I was doing and it didn't take me long to find the most recent photo he had taken. I opened it and blinked at the picture of me on the screen. I wore my traditional cheesy grin, my eyes curious and my head cocked to the side like a puppy. Then, I zoomed into my forehead and read what Edward had written there in black marker pen: Property of Edward Cullen._

_I smiled and shook my head, before sending it to my own phone and then setting it as Edward's screensaver._

********

_Well I was sixteen when suddenly_

_I wasn't that little girl you used to see_

_But your eyes still shined like pretty lights_

_And our Daddies used to joke about the two of us_

_They never believed we'd really fall in love_

_And our Mammas smiled and rolled their eyes_

_And said 'oh, my, my, my'_

_**-Mary's Song (Oh My My My), Taylor Swift**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 4- Seal of a Promise**

**Bella POV**

A while later, Edward and I lay in each other's arms as the sun started to sink behind the horizon. We had finished the pizza a while ago – all except for the olive; both of us thought that the olives were secretly slugs – and were now playing I Spy while gradually eating away our midnight supplies. What? Midnight was only… four and a half hours away… "I spy with my little eye…" I started, looking around, "something beginning with… t."

"Tree?" Edward asked boredly.

"Yay! Well done. Your turn." I giggled.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with… t. Don't think too hard about this one."

"Tree?"

"Woo hoo, point to Bella," Edward said without enthusiasm, which just made it even more funny.

I laughed. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with t?"

"Tree?"

"No! Turtle! I win." I poked my tongue out at him childishly.

He looked at me. "Bella. Where are you seeing this turtle?"

I pressed his nose like a button. "You're a turtle!"

"Jeez, I think Emmett drugged our pizza. You're not usually this high on deep pan cheese and hunks of meat."

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. "Maybe I just like being with you?"

A wide smile lit his face up. He wiped it off pretty quickly and then said, "I spy with my little eye…"

"Something beginning with t?" I finished for him.

"Mmm… Let's play something else?" he suggested.

I rolled my eyes and gestured pointedly to the lack of things to do around us. "Like what? Tag?"

"Truth or dare?"

I pouted. "Last time we played that you made me drink straight vinegar," I pointed out.

"There isn't any vinegar about at the moment," he shot back.

"Why don't we just… talk?" I sighed.

"About what?"

I rolled my eyes. "Anything. We're best friends, we're supposed to be able to talk and… stuff."

"And stuff?" Edward repeated. "That sounds… vague."

I shoved him gently. "You know what I mean."

Edward smirked. "No I don't." He smiled gently when he saw on my face that I was serious. "Okay. Let's talk."

I threaded our fingers together, and realised that I didn't really have anything to say. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. "Maybe… maybe we should go back to I-spy?" I suggested.

Edward didn't reply so I looked up at his face to see him deep in thought. "What's the matter?" I asked.

Edward rolled away slightly and left a long silence before answering. "Look, Bella, there's something I should tell you."

I edged closer to him and took his hand in mine. "What? What is it?"

He looked into my eyes. "No matter what, we're still friends, right?"

"Forever," I vowed, even though the word 'friends' didn't seem like enough to me.

He took a deep breath and blew it out through his teeth, turning round to face me. Suddenly I realised how truly important whatever he was about to say was to him.

I put my palm on his cheek and looked at him seriously. "What's wrong Edward? I thought we didn't have any secrets?" Huh. Hypocrite.

"Nothing's wrong," he assured me. "It's just…" He sighed. "I really like you, Bella. As… as more than a friend." He ducked his head, as though he were admitting some kind of terrible weakness.

I felt my heart race and my hand slipped from his face to take his hand in mine. "I…" I started.

"I'm not finished," he cut me off, still without looking at me. "Since I'm telling you this, I may well get everything out in the open." He finally met my eyes and then he said, slowly and surely, "Bella, I'm in love with you." He cupped my face in his hands. "I love you; and I have for years. That's why I kissed you. That and the fact that I _cannot_ bear it any more. Being so close to you but… distant at the same time. I know that you probably don't feel the same way so I can stick being friends. I just wanted to get it out there. Because I need you, Bella. I love you."

For a long time, I was speechless. I stared blankly into his eyes and his beautiful green orbs searched mine for the answer to an unasked question. When he realised that I wasn't going to react to his words, though, he smiled uncertainly and said, "So… I-spy?"

I blinked once and then launched myself on to his lap, pressing my lips against his. I let my hands leak into his hair and kissed him passionately, sweeping my tongue over his shocked bottom lip, pleading for entrance. I rubbed circles on his cheek, trying to coax him into relaxing and responding. He moaned and unfroze, moving his lips back against mine and pulling me closer while simultaneously lying back down again.

"I thought I was the only one," I breathed when I finally pulled my mouth from his. "God, why didn't you tell me?!" I pressed myself closer to him. "I love you too. I love you so much."

"Really?" He sounded disbelieving.

"Of course," I whispered. "Why else would I put up with all of your crap?"

He chuckled lightly and then ran the pad of his index finger across my forehead.

"I think I'll get it tattooed on," I mused.

"It is permanent marker," Edward admitted like a guilty child.

I giggled and lifted my chin so that I could kiss him again. This kiss was different from the previous few we had shared. It was short and sweet, but it spoke volumes; it told me how much he wanted this and, in return, I told him how much I wanted him. It was the first moment in my life that had been perfection.

"I love you," I breathed when I pulled away, just because I could.

He grinned and shut his eyes blissfully, touching his forehead to mine. "I love you too. Best V-day ever?"

"Best day ever," I said. "Period."

Edward opened his eyes again and looked at me adoringly. "What else have you been hiding from me?"

I shook my head and stroked my finger down his face. "Nothing. I couldn't hide anything from you."

He quirked a brow. "You hid that secret pet worm from me in third grade."

I groaned, embarrassed. "You still remember that?!"

"Uh-huh."

"But Roger was supposed to be your birthday present that year! I couldn't just tell you about your present!"

Edward chuckled and then sighed wistfully. "It's a shame you killed him. A pet worm called Roger is every third-grader's dream present."

"_I_ didn't kill him," I defended myself indignantly. "Mum killed him." I frowned as I remembered my Mum sucking Roger into the vacuum-cleaner as she lectured me on how unhygienic it was to keep a worm under my bed.

"It's the thought that counts, I guess." He rolled off of me then, and I felt lost when his body was gone from mine. "That reminds me…"

I sat up and watched as he hunted through the bag. "What?"

"I got you a present," he admitted as he searched.

I felt the disapproval look seep on to my face. It was in my tone, too, when I started to reprimand him, "Edward…"

He turned and rolled his eyes at me to shut me up.

I sighed and clamped my mouth shut as he continued to look. Eventually, he made a little 'ah hah!' noise and turned back to me with a little box in his hand. I eyed it warily. "I hope you didn't spend much money."

He sat opposite me and took my hands in his spare one. "I wanted to make this special. Really special. So… I asked Alice what kind of gift was good for girls. She said that it's more the thought that counts." He blew out a deep breath and pressed the box into my palm. "So I thought a lot and I decided to give you something… meaningful. It's not just jewellery, Bella," he murmured, and then he let go of my hand, chewing nervously on his lip.

I bit down on my own bottom lip and pinched the sides of the box together and nervously opened it. I looked down at the jewellery inside and felt a gasp pass through my lips. It was a necklace, with a simple silver chain. From the chain hung a beautiful heart-shaped crystal pendant. It was cut into a million facets and threw rainbows even in the dim light from the almost-invisible sunset. I inhaled in a low gasp. For a long moment, all I could think was: _he has to take it back- it's far too much_. But then I remembered what he had said: _It's not just jewellery, Bella_. As the truth dawned on me I looked up at his face, feeling a tear slide down my cheek. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't find the words. So I swallowed and then whispered, "You're giving me your heart?"

He nodded slowly, his eyes connecting with mine. "You've had it for years now; you stole it when we were twelve. But I wanted to give it to you as well."

I was speechless as tears leaked from my eyes.

He took the necklace from my hand, linking it carefully around my neck. Then he looked back at my face. "Don't cry," he said softly, wiping the pads of his thumbs under my eyes and catching the tears.

"I… don't know what to say…" I said hoarsely.

Edward's lips parted slightly as his eyes wandered down to mine. Then he said, just as softly, "Say you'll be mine forever."

"I will," I vowed. "Forever, and ever, and ever-" I had intended to continue until I ran out of breath, but he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine; the seal of the promise of our forever. As we kissed, I felt a fresh water drop fall on my face and mingle with my salty tears. I didn't care. The rain wouldn't ruin our special moment.

By the time we pulled apart, both breathing heavily, the few raindrops had turned into a heavy shower. Edward groaned as he pressed his forehead to mine. "Great," he muttered. "Just perfect."

I giggled. "It doesn't matter. Did you think we were gonna get a whole night without rain? Not in Forks, Edward."

He smiled at me. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being so damned perfect." He kissed me again, short this time. "I love you."

I beamed; those words made my chest swell with happiness. How on earth had I been so lucky to get _him_? And keep him for forever? "I love _you_."

Edward's smile got bigger and then he lifted his eyes to the sky. "Look," he said, taking my hand in his as he pushed away from me slightly. He lifted our hands to the sky and used my finger to trace the dim rainbow that fractured the pink sky.

I smiled. "I remember when you used to tell me that the sky went pink because it was blushing."

"I remember when you used to buy that shit," Edward laughed, shaking the rain from his hair.

I looked up at him. "I believed everything you told me."

"I know."

We were both silent for a long moment, and Edward brought our hands down. He broke the peace first. "Do you remember the first night I came into your room at night? And you thought I was a burglar?"

I smiled and nodded. We were fourteen at the time, and my first long-term boyfriend, James, had just broken up with me; by text and everything. I looked up at him. "You held me all night while I cried."

"I have a confession," he said in a small voice.

"Which is?"

"That wasn't the first time," he admitted.

I blinked, surprised. "It wasn't?"

Edward shook his head. "I used to watch you sleep all the time. If you left your window open I would sneak in and sit on the chair by your window. Sometimes for hours at a time." He looked down at our linked hands, a hint of pink on his cheeks. "I used to imagine how I would tell you… how I felt. I promised myself every night that I would tell you the very next day. But I never did. I told Emmett every day though." The corners of his mouth lifted. "God, he got annoyed with me. He came close to telling you himself."

I smiled. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I couldn't tell you before," he explained as though it should be the simplest thing in the world. "But I sure wish I had."

I lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed his palm. "Me too." Then, I shivered in his arms.

He looked down at me, concerned. "Maybe we should go sit in the car? At least until the rain goes?"

I shook my head stubbornly. "I don't want to."

"Bella, it's getting dark, and late and cold. I don't want you catching anything because of me."

I rolled my eyes at his concern. "I'm fine."

Edward smirked at me then, and I saw the familiar glint of mischief in his eyes.

"What are you planning?" I asked in my best 'whatever it is, don't do it' tone.

He did it anyway. He got to his feet, lifting me easily in his arms.

"Edward!" I shrieked. "Put me _down_! _Now!_"

"I'm taking you to the car."

I sighed. "Look, I'll go to the bloody car if that's what makes you happy! Just please put me down!"

He grinned and put my feet back on the ground, placated now that he had gotten what he wanted. "Come on then."

I glanced back at the meadow, which was hidden by a few trees. "What about the stuff?"

Edward shrugged. "We ate most of the food and the lid's on the hamper now. Besides, I've got all I want to take." He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly followed him back to the car. "That was so cheesy, you know," I said.

He caught me as I stumbled over a tree-root. "Nothing but the truth babe."

I pulled a face. "Don't call me babe. It's so…" I searched for the right word.

"Common?" Edward suggested.

"Yeah."

"What can I call you?"

I thought for a moment. "You think of something."

"Baby?" he said and I shook my head. "No… Sweetheart?" He laughed as I pulled a face. "Guess not. Cutie pie? Hey! You don't have to push me! Darling?"

I laughed. "That is so old-married-couple."

"Will you settle for anything?" he asked as his car came into view.

I shook my head. Then, as Edward opened my door for me, I pursed my lips. "Actually… how about Bella?"

"Bella?" He quirked a brow at me playfully. Then, he glanced over my shoulder and his eyes widened.

Instinctively, I glanced over my shoulder as well, in time to see a van speeding right at us. It took less than a second to register in my head that the van was going to collide with Edward's car… and I was standing right in between them. I drew in a shocked breath, frozen to the spot with fear. Then it all happened so fast.

I felt someone pull me from behind; Edward. He threw me at the forest and I hit a tree trunk with such force that I was winded. But that wasn't what was at the front of my mind. As my breath whooshed out of my chest, there was an ear-splitting screech and a loud crash.

I pulled myself to my feet, ignoring the stinging pain in my wrist, and looked back with wide eyes. I instantly wished I hadn't. Edward had dived into the passenger seat of his Volvo to avoid being caught between the two vehicles, but the van had gone into the side of the car at such a high speed that the Volvo had been pushed up against a tree and almost completely crushed.

I heard myself scream his name but I wasn't conscious of doing it. I ran over to the other side and tried desperately to pull the door open but it was stuck, as was the door behind it.

As I hauled at the wreckage, the numbness slowly faded away and realisation set in as sobs shook my body and Edward's name fell repetitively from my lips. I suddenly felt very sick, but I didn't let it stop me. I grabbed a tree branch from the ground and smashed the window, climbing inside and ignoring the way the broken glass cut at me.

"Edward," I rasped over and over, crawling to his body and shaking it. Tears streamed down my face as I tried to wake him. With shaking hands, I reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, calling 911.

I have no idea how I managed to splutter what had happened and where we were, but I did. Then, I sat with Edward, the rusty smell of blood turning my stomach even more so as I held his wrist in my hand, my sanity hanging solely on the slow, weak pulse that ran through his veins.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

**Hi guys! I am so sorry it took me so long to update but you would not believe how unbearably difficult this chapter was to write! I had five pages written but I hated all of it so I deleted it and started from scratch and changed everything and I'm still not thoroughly impressed with it. Haha it's the grudge thing again ;)**

**The good news is that I do kind of know where I'm going with this now… so there should be more frequent updates :D If you doubt me because of my awful updating as of late, then just check out the A/Ns at this stage in any story I've written. At around about chapter 3/4 I **_**always**_** get stuck. I abandoned THWTLAL for a while at this stage and VTN as well… I guess it just takes a while for it to fit together in my head :)**

**Now… if you're a reader of any of my other stories then you'll already know this but I'm going to tell you again.**

**I'm running some more awards at my awards site and nominations are now open! So please go to twilightallhumanawards(DOT)webs(DOT)com and nominate your favourite fanfictions; I really need some more nominations to make this a worthwhile competition. I would be very grateful to anyone who mentions it in A/Ns etc as well (hint, hint) ;) lol Thank you all so much :)**

**And that's all I have to say for now, I think… I'm going to go and update VTN now. Yes, that's right- a **_**double update!!!!**_** :O this is very rare for me :L**

**So… I really hope you liked this chapter (though maybe not the end…) because it is the biggie and it was hard and I needed to do it justice :L**

**Please tell me your thoughts? :)**

**Thank you so much for sticking with me**

**Steph**


	5. Chapter 5: Explosion of Emotion

**Previously…**

_I pulled myself to my feet, ignoring the stinging pain in my wrist, and looked back with wide eyes. I instantly wished I hadn't. Edward had dived into the passenger seat of his Volvo to avoid being caught between the two vehicles, but the van had gone into the side of the car at such a high speed that the Volvo had been pushed up against a tree and almost completely crushed._

_I heard myself scream his name but I wasn't conscious of doing it. I ran over to the other side and tried desperately to pull the door open but it was stuck, as was the door behind it._

_As I hauled at the wreckage, the numbness slowly faded away and realisation set in as sobs shook my body and Edward's name fell repetitively from my lips. I suddenly felt very sick, but I didn't let it stop me. I grabbed a tree branch from the ground and smashed the window, climbing inside and ignoring the way the broken glass cut at me._

"_Edward," I rasped over and over, crawling to his body and shaking it. Tears streamed down my face as I tried to wake him. With shaking hands, I reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, calling 911._

_I have no idea how I managed to splutter what had happened and where we were, but I did. Then, I sat with Edward, the rusty smell of blood turning my stomach even more so as I held his wrist in my hand, my sanity hanging solely on the slow, weak pulse that ran through his veins._

********

_I'm a satellite heart_

_Lost in the dark_

_I'm spun out so far_

_You stop, I'll start_

_But I'll be true to you_

_**-Satellite Heart, Anya Marina (A/N: and some impossible trivia for you here- on which soundtrack do we heard that song? What do you mean you all know the answer?!)**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 5- Explosion of Emotion**

**Bella POV**

The brakes in the van had failed; the driver had tried to swerve but the van had skidded across the asphalt road and swerving had only made it worse. Thanks to his airbag, the driver of the van had only suffered three broken fingers and a large bump to the head.

But Edward hadn't had an airbag to catch him.

He had sustained extensive head injuries and internal bleeding, leaving him in a coma.

All because he had put himself in my place. He had sacrificed himself to save me. It was all my fault.

The past three days had been the worst of my life and they seemed to go on and on and on. I gripped Edward's hand tightly as the beeping of his life-support machine filled the room. I couldn't cry anymore. I hadn't been able to cry since I had first heard the word 'comatose'. The thought that I could lose my very best friend – and the love of my life – was too much to bear. Especially when I had only just found out how he had really felt.

"Bella," a soft voice said, making me jump. "Sorry," she said when she saw me start.

I didn't lift my eyes from Edward's face. "What?" My voice sounded lifeless even to me.

"Maybe you should go home for twenty minutes? Have a shower and something to eat?" Esme suggested coming to my side and laying a motherly hand on my shoulder. "You've barely moved in three days."

"I'm not leaving," I said stubbornly. "Ever."

Esme sighed and sat down next to me; this was hard on her too. "Bella, I know this must be hard for you, but you can't stop living because of this. It's not what he'd want."

I finally looked at her, my sight blurry. "Don't say that!" I said, louder and harsher than I had intended to. "Why does everyone keep talking about him like he's dead?! He'll be fine!" I insisted.

"I know." Esme nodded, but she didn't sound certain of anything. "And you think he wants to wake up to hear that you've been starving yourself?"

I turned back to Edward, watching his chest rise and fall slowly. It hurt to think that it wasn't Edward taking his own breaths; that a machine had to do it for him. "But anything could happen while I'm gone," I whispered.

Esme sighed slightly and looked at her unconscious son before saying, "I just came to tell you that I'm getting something to eat from the cafeteria."

I nodded, not responding even though I knew very well the question behind her comment.

She asked me it all the same. "Did you want anything?"

"I'm not hungry," I replied robotically; and it was true. Nothing appealed to me anymore. Food, drink, sleep… even ice-skating. I hadn't been to the rink since Sunday morning, missing the four sessions Jake and I had stuffed into the last three days. I hadn't been to school either. Charlie had tried to get me to carry on with everything as usual, on Monday evening when I had missed one day of school, but I threw such a fit that he didn't say anything about it again.

I didn't really blame him, if I was honest. They just didn't understand. I hadn't said anything about Edward and I's new relationship status to anyone; it hurt too much.

It took me a long moment to realise that Esme had left the room and the door was slowly shutting behind her. Then I heard his voice.

"How's she doing?" my dad asked in a voice just above a whisper. So it was him that made Esme ask all of that!

I heard Esme sigh and shift her weight. "Not too grea…" The door shut completely then, cutting her off. I pushed my chair backwards, not releasing Edward's hand from the death grip I had it in, and used my free hand to pry the door ajar.

"…she's really not coping, Charlie," Esme was saying. "I… I just don't understand it. They're best friends but… I can see in her eyes that it's affecting her a lot more than it's affecting me and…" I heard her sob quietly. "My little boy…" she whispered, her tone laced with pain.

"It's okay," Charlie comforted gruffly; he had never been good with emotions. I could almost see him hesitating outside, wondering whether to hug Esme or not.

I heard Esme suck in a breath. "This morning… the doctors… they said that… that we should start to expect the worse." Her voice shook with emotion. "They've done tests on his mind and if he comes round at all it's likely that he'll have brain damage. His supervisor said that his head injuries were so bad that… it would be kinder to him to just turn off the life-support."

"No," I whispered, looking back at Edward's lifeless face. I felt tears sting at my eyes but they wouldn't fall however much I willed them to.

Esme took a deep breath outside. "Carlisle and I refused to do it yet. But… what if we have to Charlie? I don't see how Bella can handle that. She's falling apart. Alice is devastated – hell, we all are – but Bella has this… look… in her eyes. It's like… it's like her life is tied to his. If he doesn't make it…" She stopped, letting the sentence hang in the air. A second later, she was sobbing quietly again. "It's just not fair."

"I know," Dad muttered, and a chair outside squeaked as he sat in it. "Edward's a strong boy, Esme."

She sniffed. "His head was crushed," she whispered.

I pushed the door shut then, not wanting to hear anymore. I slid my chair back closer to Edward's side. Suddenly, though, just holding his hand wasn't enough. I bent my face to his and pressed my lips to the soft curve of his mouth. His skin was as soft as before, but the spark wasn't there. The little sparkle of excitement that only seemed to exist when Edward was awake.

I glanced at the window in the door and then gently slid on to Edward's bed, fitting my body into his side while carefully avoiding the wires and tubes that were keeping him alive. I would probably be told off for this, but I didn't care.

I hugged myself to my best friend's side, tracing the planes of his face with my eyes. "You're the strongest person I know," I whispered, hoping he could hear me. "Please pull through for me." Then I lay my head against his chest, and listened to his heart beat strongly against his chest. I inhaled his gorgeous, unique scent and shut my eyes, letting the rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.

***

When I woke up, twilight was just setting in. I blinked and let my eyes adjust to the light overhead and then started slightly when I realised that I wasn't alone. I shifted guiltily under the scrutinising eyes of Dr Cullen, but didn't move from where I lay next to Edward.

He smiled lightly at me. "Nice of you to finally join us, Bella."

"Finally?" I asked, my voice deep and gravelly from sleep.

He chuckled softly, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You've been out for a solid twenty-six hours."

I glanced at the clock and quickly realised that it was visiting time. "Where are Esme and Alice?"

"They've gone down the road to get some food. They'll be back in a minute."

I looked back at Edward. "Has anything happened?"

Carlisle shook his head sadly. "Nothing. He's just the same as ever." He was dressed in his doctors' scrubs and I figured that he was on his break; the hospital wouldn't let Dr Cullen handle this case because of his personal involvement with Edward.

I sat up and bit down hard on my lip. "What's going to happen?"

He sat down beside me on the bed, his eyes running up and down his son's body. "I don't know, Bella. I just don't know."

We sat in silence for a long moment, and then Carlisle slid off of the bed and headed for the door. "I better get back to work. I'll see you later, Bella."

I nodded and looked back down at Edward. But then, the moment the door shut behind Carlisle, Edward's machine started to beep faster. I glanced up at the screen and then leapt off the bed and ran to the door. I pulled it open. "Carlisle!" I called after his retreating back.

He turned back round and looked at me.

"Come quick!" I shouted before darting back to Edward's side. I grabbed his hand, not knowing what the hell was happening.

Carlisle came back in just in time to see Edward's eyelids flicker… and then open. I stared incredulously as he blinked slowly, his gaze fixed on his father. Then… "Dad?" he croaked. "What… what happened? Where am I?"

"Edward," I breathed his name, my knees weak with relief. He was okay. He was going to be okay.

Edward's gorgeous green eyes flickered to my face, their beautiful depths cautious. Then the skin between his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he looked down at his hand entwined in mine. I squeezed his hand in assurance, but to my intense surprise he carefully pulled his hand free from my grasp. "Um…" he said. "Who are you?"

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, if you think I'm gonna fall for that one again, you've got another thing coming."

Edward looked at his father, his brow furrowed even deeper. "What's going on? Who is she?!"

And then it sunk in. He wasn't playing around. I stared at him in shock, only catching a few words of Carlisle's brief explanation, which were 'car accident', 'brake failure' and 'coma'. Once Edward had been told, his eyes wandered back to me.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Edward?" I whispered, wanting him to take me in my arms and tell me he was joking more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. "Please…"

"Who are you?" he asked again, more quietly this time.

"Bella," I choked out. "Bella, Edward, I… I'm your best friend."

He absorbed that for a moment, staring at my face, and then he shook his head slowly. "I've never seen you before in my life," he concluded with an absolute certainty that broke my heart.

My head was spinning and I abruptly felt very sick as a lump formed in my throat. How could he have forgotten me? What about our forever?

Just then the door opened and Alice and Esme came in, wafting a light scent of takeaway food over us. They both froze for a split-second when they saw Edward, and then it went mad. Alice ran to his side and hugged him madly as Esme burst into happy tears and hugged her husband. I felt like I was watching the scene fold out through a window as Edward greeted them all by name, the crooked smile back on his face and the furrow in his brow completely gone.

I turned quickly for the door and ran out of the room and along the corridor, desperately trying to drag in sharp, shaky breaths as tears trickled down my cheeks. Why had he forgotten me yet he could remember everyone else? The pain was a crushing agony, pressing down on me like a weight as I flopped on to the cold, hard floor, next to a wall. I curled my knees up to my chest and sobbed uncontrollably, as the realisation slowly sunk in that I had lost my best friend.

After what felt like hours but can only have been a few minutes, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked softly.

I didn't look up, too far gone in my crying fit that was slowly becoming a panic attack.

"Bella, take deep breaths through your nose," he ordered.

I tried as best as I could to comply, but it didn't really work.

Carlisle sat beside me on the floor, rubbing soothing circles on my back like my Mum had done when I had had nightmares when I was little. Edward's parents had kind of become my second parents since we were so close… but not anymore.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, and I realised that he didn't know what else he could say.

I took a few deep breaths before talking. "Why… why can't he remember me?"

Carlisle pursed his lips. "I can't say for sure – the other doctors are examining him now – but I would guess… that Edward has a form of acute retrograde amnesia."

I tried to wipe my eyes, but that didn't stem the flow of tears. "What's acute retrograde amnesia?" I asked in a small voice.

"It's a form of amnesia caused by serious head trauma and it causes the sufferer to forget certain aspects of his or her life, but not all of them. Acute retrograde amnesia is when they forget very specific things; these things are usually related to the accident or whatever caused the amnesia." Carlisle sighed. "It's probable that Edward's mind has pushed away all memories that would force him to remember the accident; it's occasionally the mind's initial reaction to shock. And… since you were present when Edward was involved in the accident… it would appear that his mind has blocked all memories of you to save himself from re-living the trauma." He looked down at me and his eyes were deeply sympathetic.

"Amnesia goes, right?" I said, feeling a little more assured.

But Carlisle paused before answering, and that threw the small amount of assurance right out of the window. "Sometimes," he replied. "Usually, yes, sufferers recover parts of their memories- and sometimes they regain full access to their memories. But it's often severely traumatic and…" He hesitated and then said, "Bella, you have to understand that it can take years. Decades, even. It may not even happen."

I broke down into a fresh flood of tears. "You mean… he won't remember anything? Anything we've done ever?"

He pursed his lips and hugged me to his side. "I'm so sorry."

"I never wanted to go back to the car," I whimpered. "I told him we should have stayed there. I told him the rain didn't matter."

Carlisle recognised my tone. "Don't you dare take this upon yourself, Bella. It wasn't your fault. It was an accident."

"But I could have stopped it!" My voice was louder and angrier than I meant for it to be. I looked down at my hands. "I could have stopped it," I repeated in a whisper. My mind assaulted me with memories from the night of the accident: Edward telling me that he loved me, Edward kissing me, Edward giving me his heart… How could the best night of my life have turned into the worst?

"I'll take you home," Carlisle told me quietly.

"I don't want to go," I refused, but there was no authority in my voice.

Carlisle sighed, and stood up. For a moment, I thought he was going to let me sit here and wallow, but then he bent down and lifted me carefully into his arms like I was a baby. "Come on."

I didn't fight with him; I didn't have the energy. Instead, I just went limp in his arms and cried into his shoulder as he carried me to his black Mercedes and we left Edward far behind.

***

I gave up on attempting to sleep at six thirty the next morning, sliding out of bed and going downstairs and into the kitchen. I pulled the ingredients for a fried breakfast out of the fridge and cupboards before getting on and making a fry-up for Charlie before he had to head to work.

"What's this, Bells?" he asked when he came into the kitchen, dressed in his uniform. His voice was cautious, scared that I'd suddenly have an emotional breakdown, and I could tell that he was going to tread on eggshells around me for the foreseeable future; I didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed. Carlisle had told him what had happened when he had dropped me home the night before; I had been listening from my place on the comfy couch in the living room.

"Breakfast," I replied as though it should be obvious.

"Oh." Charlie sat down at the table and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Did you… sleep okay?"

"Yep," I lied.

He nodded, though I knew that he saw through my lie. I had never been great at lying. But that was okay before; Edward had always covered for me… I pushed that thought out of my head as there was a pang in my chest.

I flipped the egg onto the almost-full plate sunny-side-up and then took it to the table, sliding it in front of my father.

"Mmm, smells good Bell," he complimented appreciatively.

I mumbled a vague agreement and took my own smaller portion to my seat across the table from him. We ate in silence for a long time, neither of us wanting to bring up the reason behind the unusual silence.

"Are you going to school today?" Charlie asked eventually.

I nodded warily.

Charlie swallowed before saying, "You can… have today off if you want to. I mean… it's only Friday and you've missed the rest of the week already and…" He sighed. "I understand if you don't want to."

"No, I do," I muttered. It was the truth as well. School would be a much better distraction than being at home. I took my empty plate to the sink and added, "I'm going straight to the rink after school." I needed to work on the triple salchow I was having trouble with in Jake and I's routine- the competition was coming up fast. It was in less than two weeks now.

"Okay," Charlie said slowly. He was still waiting for the explosion of emotion.

Then again, so was I.

***

School was awful. Without Edward in every lesson with me, I had no one to sit with in lessons all day. Alice wasn't in school either – she was with Edward – so there was no one to sit with at lunch either. On top of that, gossip had been circulating all week so people were giving me sideways glances in the corridor and whispering behind my back.

I didn't know what the rumours were; neither did I want to know. But that didn't stop my mind running over all of the possibilities as I drove home that afternoon.

_Maybe they thought that I was the one to hurt Edward; I had been the reason for his accident._

_Maybe they thought that Edward had died._

_Maybe they thought that he had brain damage._

_Maybe they _knew_ that Edward had forgotten all about me._

By the time I drew up outside the house, I was almost hyperventilating. I got out of my truck and crossed the lawn toward the door, heading straight to my bedroom to grab my skate bag. As I picked it up off of the floor, I saw the top Jacob had given me for Valentines Day hanging over the back of my swivel chair. I wandered over and picked it up in my hands, running my fingers over the soft material.

I smiled slightly and then pulled the top I was wearing over my head and slipped the skate top on instead; it fitted perfectly. I glanced in the mirror and a glint of silver at my neck sent a shiver of sadness down my spine. I fingered the necklace Edward had given me, looking wistfully at it in the mirror.

Suddenly, I got the feeling I was being watched. I snapped out of my trance and looked over at the window, through to the next door veranda. I started when I saw someone stood there; Edward. I felt a smile light my face until he looked away, embarrassed to be caught watching me. I was about to wave. But then I remembered.

I went over to the little door that led out to my own veranda and unlocked it, pushing the door open and stepping out. "Um… Edward?" I asked shyly.

He looked up at me. "Yeah?" he said slowly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said again. He pointed to his door. "I'm gonna… go now."

I nodded, but he was already gone. I bit on my lip to stop myself from crying, and then turned and headed into my own room, berating myself for going out there in the first place.

I grabbed my skate bag off of my bed and decided to push Edward out of my mind for now. Skating would be my priority at the moment.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aww I'm sorry :( Well it had to happen guys- you knew that.**

**Just so you know, acute retrograde amnesia exists and I did a little research but I mostly got my details from a book I read- so they might not be exactly right. I'm fairly sure that they're pretty accurate though :)**

**And guys! Are you proud of me for updating so soon? I know I sure am lol ;)**

**Thanks for all of your lovely reviews last chapter :D I'm glad that a lot of you liked Roger the worm. And I'm so glad that you liked the accident (as much as you could…). Little secret: initially, Edward was going to fall out of a tree thanks to a wayward game of truth or dare- I have it written and everything. But then it just seemed awful and melodramatic so I changed it to a car accident instead :)**

**Hopefully you liked the chapter even though it was a little depressing and angsty :) This story isn't going to be like that if you're suddenly worried about that. In a few chapters' time they'll start the re-building of their relationship etc and there will be very little angst ;) But if you want angst, then there's always my other story Victim of a Teenage Nobody- that's 17 chapters of love-sick angst :L (hint, hint? Haha XD)**

**Please let me know your thoughts? Did you cry, laugh, throw your computer in annoyance??? Tell me all about it… unless you **_**did**_** throw your computer and then you might want to go and tell an anger-management specialist instead ;)**

**Thank you all =D**

**Steph**


	6. Chapter 6: Girl Next Door

**Previously…**

_Suddenly, I got the feeling I was being watched. I snapped out of my trance and looked over at the window, through to the next door veranda. I started when I saw someone stood there; Edward. I felt a smile light my face until he looked away, embarrassed to be caught watching me. I was about to wave. But then I remembered._

_I went over to the little door that led out to my own veranda and unlocked it, pushing the door open and stepping out. "Um… Edward?" I asked shyly._

_He looked up at me. "Yeah?" he said slowly._

"_Are you okay?"_

"_Yeah," he said again. He pointed to his door. "I'm gonna… go now."_

_I nodded, but he was already gone. I bit on my lip to stop myself from crying, and then turned and headed into my own room, berating myself for going out there in the first place._

_I grabbed my skate bag off of my bed and decided to push Edward out of my mind for now. Skating would be my priority at the moment._

_I'm a little bit lost without you_

_And I'm a bloody big mess inside_

_And I'm a little bit lost without you_

_This ain't a love song- this is goodbye_

_**-This Ain't A Love Song, Scouting for Girls (A/N: just for you Laura ;))**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 6- Girl Next Door**

**Edward POV**

I watched over my mother's shoulder as she drove home feeling wistful; I missed my Volvo. It was three o'clock in the afternoon and I had only just been freed from the hospital, even though I was absolutely fine- save for forgetting a few little things. Like that even mattered.

"Do you remember this?" Alice chirped in my ear for the millionth time from the seat next to me.

I sighed and looked over at her. "Yes, Alice, I remember this. I remember everything apart from the accident, okay?"

She scowled slightly. "And Bella."

"And Bella," I conceded with a roll of my eyes.

Nobody spoke again after that until we pulled up outside of our home. I ignored Alice's inquisition as to whether I remembered _this_ and followed Mum into the house. She turned round and faced me in the hallway with a smile. "You okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine!" I insisted. "Why do people keep asking me that?"

My Mum sighed. "Edward, you came out of a coma yesterday. People will be asking you that incessantly for the next few weeks- so you should get used to it."

I pouted and looked up the stairs. I wondered if my bedroom had changed since the accident. "I'm going to my room," I muttered and started up the stairs. I followed the corridor to the door at the end with a sign on it that read: _Edward's room_ in swirly handwriting. I hooked the sign off and held it in my hands with my brow furrowed.

"You made that with Bella when you were eleven." Alice's voice from behind me made me jump.

"Don't do that," I muttered moodily as I pushed the door open and went into my room.

"Jeez, you got up on the wrong side of bed this morning." Unfortunately, Alice followed me.

A bag on my bed caught my eye and I went over and picked it up, surprised to find that it was my phone in a crime scene bag.

"The police brought that here from the scene of the accident; Bella used it to call the ambulance," Alice told me.

"Right," I said, dropping my phone into my hand. Apart from the crack across the screen, it showed no signs that it had been in the accident, even though it had been in my pocket. It was a tough phone. Shame that I couldn't say the same about myself.

Alice was silent as I turned on my phone and waited for it to load. My welcome message was: _Edward's a douche-head and Bella's awesome ;)_ I wondered what the heck that was all about, and then figured that _she_ must have written it. I let a random girl fiddle around with my phone? Then, the screensaver came up. I blinked at it, my eyes wandering over the pretty brunette from the hospital as I waited for a spark of recognition. But nothing happened. I looked at the words written on her forehead and sighed. Had we really been so close?

"What?" Alice asked, seeing my trepidation.

"Nothing." I quickly went into settings and set the screensaver as the usual generic thing. I turned and sat down on my bed as I opened up my image gallery to delete the photo of this Bella girl. But as I flicked through the photos to find it, realisation slowly sunk in. I opened a random photo and met the same pair of chocolate brown eyes. The next one was the same. As were the next thirteen. Had I taken photos of anything else?! I opened the options and went to 'delete all' but then I hesitated… and pressed cancel.

I switched my phone off again and threw it down on my bed. "It's broken," I lied, for Alice's benefit.

She nodded, accepting the lie easily, and then looked around my bedroom. I did too. It was just as I remembered. But… something about it felt wrong. It was almost as though there was something missing. I didn't like it. And then a photo frame by my bed caught my eye. I reached over and picked it up. It was a huge photo frame- one of those that splits into three different photos. The photo on the right was of me, wearing a pair of smart jeans and a black button-up shirt. The photo on the left was of the beautiful dark-haired girl – Bella – and she was wearing an electric blue scoop-necked top and a pair of black leggings. She was blushing adorably and biting slightly on her almost-too-full bottom lip. But an excited smile lifted the corners of her lips and her eyes shone with anticipation. Then I looked at the photo in the middle. It was of both of us- and I should have seen _that_ coming. My arms were around her small body, fitting around her like a puzzle piece slotted into place and I gazed down at her with adoration in my eyes as she looked up at my face, her expression mirroring mine.

"I put that there," Alice said suddenly, as though she had only just remembered it.

I looked up at her, trying to shake the feeling of unease that had settled over me as memories tried to rise to the surface but couldn't get anywhere close. "Why?"

"I took those photos on Sunday… the night of the accident." She sighed and sat down next to me. "You and Bella are… _were_ best friends and it was a kind of tradition that you took her out every Valentines. Last year, you just washed cars or something- you poured baked beans over her car and she was still finding random beans in the foot-wells months later." She laughed lightly at the memory and a feeling of sadness washed over me- that feeling you get when you think you're missing out.

"This year," Alice continued, "I was under the impression that it was supposed to be more special than before. So I dressed Bella up and took photos- I took photos of you too, obviously." She gestured to the photo of me. "And then, when you had both gone, I printed some copies of the best ones and framed them. Bella's got one too. I left this on your desk and gave Charlie – that's Bella's Dad – Bella's copy with the instruction to give it to her when she got back." Alice's smile faded then. "But you didn't come back. We got the call from A&E at just before midnight." She hugged my side slightly. "It was the worst experience for me. Ever. I'm glad your back."

I nodded and hugged her back. Then I pulled open a drawer and put the frame in it, burying it under various bits of crap.

"What are you doing?" Alice demanded.

I looked back at her. "Alice, I don't know that girl."

She stared at me. "She's your best friend."

"But I don't remember her! You know that! How is she supposed to be my best friend when I don't have a clue who she is?"

Alice thought about that for a moment. Then she said, "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters! Everything would be awkward."

"If you had forgotten me, and Mum, and Dad, you'd still have come home with us," Alice pointed out in an even voice.

"That's different, you guys are-"

"No it's not," Alice interrupted me. "Bella was even worse than me." She stood up so she was taller than me. "Do you know who refused to leave your side for four days solid?"

I didn't answer because we both knew that I knew who she was talking about.

"That's ninety-six hours! She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, wouldn't sleep… Edward, all she cared about was you." Alice flexed her fingers. "If you had seen her… it was like… I can't explain it. Edward, you can't just ditch her!"

"I can and I will," I said defiantly, ignoring the way my conscience roared at me inside my head.

Alice glared at me. "Why? If you talk to her, maybe you'll get some of your memories back! Maybe-"

"Leave me alone!" I yelled, my temper suddenly snapping. I stood up so that I towered over her. "Get out of my room and stop prattling on about a girl I don't know!"

Alice's glare became even more furious.

"I mean it, Al," I seethed. "I don't want to hear anything about her."

She took a deep breath and said quietly, "How can you be so selfish?" Then, she turned on her heel and left the room.

Abruptly, I felt awfully guilty. Not because Alice's words were true – although they were – but because of the disappointment in her accusation. I exhaled angrily and wandered over to my veranda, stepping outside and taking a deep breath of the clear air, hoping to clear my head.

But then, I happened to look over at the clear glass door of the next-door bedroom's veranda… just as a girl pulled her top over her head. For a moment, my heart jumped as my eyes roamed over her gorgeous body- petite yet still curvy. But then my eyes settled on her face and my heart dropped back down into my stomach. Bella lived next door _as well_? Jeez, what kind of a cracked existence did I live? The photos clearly showed that I had been utterly fixated with the girl next door. How clichéd and pathetic.

Suddenly, her eyes snapped over to where I was stood. I looked away over the garden, embarrassed to be caught staring. I heard the click of the lock in the door sound, but I didn't look over until she addressed me nervously.

"Um… Edward?" She said my name meekly, like a kitten.

I reluctantly returned my gaze to her. "Yeah?"

She blushed a bright crimson and fiddled nervously with the cuffs of her sleeves as she asked, "Are you okay?" There was that bloody question again.

I swallowed down my annoyance and stuck to a one word answer. "Yeah." Both of us were silent for a few seconds that felt like much, much longer. I pointed to my door. "I'm gonna… go now." And then I went inside without waiting for her to respond, pulling the curtains shut behind me.

I wondered for a brief moment why I was avoiding her. Alice was right after all; speaking to this mysterious girl would probably bring some memories back. But the doctors had warned that it would probably be traumatic if I recovered any of my memories.

That sounded like a naff excuse even to my own mind, especially when I realised that I _wanted_ to know this girl. I wanted to know some of the things we had done together in a past life. I wanted to get to know her; her mannerisms, her likes and dislikes, just… her. I wanted to know why I had liked her so much.

Acting completely on impulse, I grabbed a jacket off the back of my chair and headed downstairs. I pulled my shoes on my feet and then went into the kitchen to grab the keys from the little white bowl. But just as I reached for them, a hand shot out and grabbed them first. "Mum," I groaned.

"Why do you want the keys?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at me like she had done when she had caught me years ago rummaging through the sweetie drawer. _How come I can remember _that_ but not my best friend?_ I wondered to myself.

I shook that out of my head. "I just want to go for a drive. Clear my head."

My Mum frowned. "I don't know, Edward…"

"I'm fine, Mum," I sighed. "The doctors said I was good as new, remember?"

"They did not say that and you know it. They said you should take it easy."

"But I have to get out of here," I whined like a kid.

Esme smiled sympathetically. "Well, go for a walk. If God hadn't intended for us to walk, then why did he give us legs?"

"He gave us legs so that we can drive," I shot back at her.

Her brow furrowed and I took advantage of her momentary confusion to snatch the keys from her grasp.

"Thanks Mum!" I said as I headed for the door. "I love you!"

I heard her give an irritated sigh. "I love you too," she called after me, "but, for God's sake be careful!"

I hopped in the front seat just as a red truck turned right down the road ahead. I started the engine, and then started to follow.

A while later, I was sat in the car outside the rink, trying to get the nerves up to go in after Bella. It had been weird seeing in her eyes how much my detachment affected her and I wondered why she had come here. I told myself to man up and got out of the car, locking it before heading inside and going through the door to the spectators seats. I vaguely remembered this place, but not in any specific detail; just in the way that I remembered my way around. It was kind of like déjà-vu. Did that mean that this place had been connected to Bella? Was that why I couldn't remember actually being here in my life?

When I got into the spectators arena, I looked down over the masses of seats on to the huge white sheet of thick ice. Bella was there, one tiny figure close to the far right-hand corner of the rink engaged in a fast spin. As I walked slowly and silently down the steps, I kept my eyes on her rotating form, watching as she moved out of it and went into a fast sprint across the ice before leaping into the air and doing a triple loop in the air before landing awkwardly on her foot and stumbling, then slipping onto her ass.

"Ugh!" she exclaimed loudly in annoyance.

I wondered whether I should help her, but she got back to her feet and shook out her legs, seeming fine as she slid deftly back to the corner and started on the impossibly fast one-footed spin again. In awe of her extraordinary talent, I sank into a chair nearby and fixed my eyes on her body.

As I watched her attempt – and fail – the same triple jump over and over again, I couldn't help but wonder whether I had skated with her. Whether I was as good as she was, but just couldn't remember it. She whizzed round and round and I found myself completely engaged in the beauty and delicacy of what she was doing. It was simply incredible.

The sheer determination that decorated her face told me that she was strong and focused and very, very passionate about the skating; she wasn't going to take any crap from it and she wasn't going to let this one move defeat her. As she failed to land it again, I saw the determination on her face wane and exhaustion and devastation attempt to take over.

I felt a pang in my chest as I realised that the devastation was because of me. Because of my amnesia. I had been a prick to pull away from her. Alice was right; it didn't matter that I didn't know her. She was still my best friend.

"Come on, Bella," I whispered to myself, desperate to see her succeed.

She moved back to the corner and went back into the spin, whipping round and round. I willed her on as she darted across the ice… and then completed the triple turn and landed it perfectly. A look of exuberant pride crossed her face as she swept across the rink.

"Yes!" she said, punching the air.

I chuckled into my palm and continued to watch as she attempted it again. This time, though, she spun through the air and then tumbled to the ground. She had done this before, so I sat and waited for her to get up and try again.

But she didn't.

I stood up and moved closer when I saw that she was huddled on the ground; she looked hurt. I was just about to go over and help her, when someone else came out onto the ice. He was dark-skinned and burly, with a pair of black skates on his feet.

"Bella?" he asked worriedly. "Bella, are you okay? That was a nasty fall- I was watching." He went closer and I snuck closer, hiding out of sight so that I could listen in on their conversation. "Bella?" he asked again, softer when he realised that she was crying. "What hurts?"

"Nothing," she squeaked. "Nothing hurts; I'm fine."

"Why are you crying?" the boy asked, helping her to her feet and skating with her to the side near to me. I hid even further around the door.

"I just…" she trailed off and sighed. "Oh, Jake," she whispered.

He was silent for a moment, and then he said, "It's him, isn't it? It's Edward."

I peeked around the doorframe in time to see her nod into his shoulder.

"I heard what happened," 'Jake' said.

Her head shot up at his words. "You did?"

"Yeah, the whole school knows about his amnesia. That stuff spreads like wildfire- you know that, Bells." Who _was_ this guy? And why did _he_ get to call _my_ best friend 'Bells'? Had _I_ called her Bells?

Bella groaned and sniffed again, wiping at her eyes.

The guy looked a little awkward at her emotional outburst. He bit his lip. "You're pretty torn up about this, huh?"

God, he was tactless. 'Pretty torn up'… yeah, no shit Sherlock.

Bella didn't seem to be too offended. She sighed. "I… it's… it's like I don't know him. It's like… I don't even know what it's like." Her voice got quieter then and I had to strain to hear her. "In some ways I wish…" She stopped.

"You wish?" Jake prodded.

Her reply was barely above a whisper, but I still heard it. "I kind of… I wonder whether it would be better if he had…" She stopped again, pressing a hand over her mouth to mask a sob. It didn't matter; both the brawny guy and me knew what she was going to end that sentence with. My fists clenched angrily at my sides.

"Died?" Jake finished for her.

I watched as she nodded. "I feel so bad for feeling like that but… I'm the only one who's lost him, Jake!" She looked desperately up at his face, almost like she was begging him to understand. "He's fine, but I have to see him and know that every memory I have of him – of _us_ – he can't remember."

I didn't want to hear any more. Seeing red, I stormed out of the arena, letting the door slam behind me. She would have preferred me to die. _Some friend._

Alice's words from earlier echoed back at me- _how can you be so selfish?_ I nearly growled in frustration; _I_ wasn't the one who was being selfish. And to think that I had wanted to get to know her again. Why had I even been so close to such a self-centred bitch in the first place?

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened up my photo album again. This time, I opened up the option to 'delete all' and I pressed it, watching as the little green bar slid across the screen as it deleted the hundreds of photos of the same girl, deleting her from my phone.

And for a second, just a split second, I wished that I could somehow delete her from my past as well.

But then the second passed, and the guilt set in. And, of course, my new-found obsession of wanting to know more about the cliché of a girl next door.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Awww… poor Edward :(**

**See, he still has the same feelings… he just can't remember them :(**

**So… I have nothing much to say today. I was going to update either this or VTN yesterday and I asked my facebook friends which they'd prefer but it was a tie so I didn't know what to do :L So I waited until it wasn't a tie :) And this one won. If you haven't added me on facebook yet then feel free to :) I'm called Steph Cullen and my avatar is of THWTLAL so you know it's me ;) Or there's a link on my profile :)**

**I don't have much of the next chapter written so I can't say when the next update will be. I'm trying to get it done, but my first GCSE is on Thursday so my Mum's been really on my back for me to do some revision. You know what the first one is? French oral. Yes, how sick is that?! Lol**

**But please review and I'll try to update ASAP!**

**Thanks guys! :D**

**Steph**


	7. Chapter 7: Lunar Eclipse

**Previously…**

_I didn't want to hear any more. Seeing red, I stormed out of the arena, letting the door slam behind me. She would have preferred me to die. Some friend._

_Alice's words from earlier echoed back at me- _how can you be so selfish?_ I nearly growled in frustration; I wasn't the one who was being selfish. And to think that I had wanted to get to know her again. Why had I even been so close to such a self-centred bitch in the first place?_

_I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened up my photo album again. This time, I opened up the option to 'delete all' and I pressed it, watching as the little green bar slid across the screen as it deleted the hundreds of photos of the same girl, deleting her from my phone._

_And for a second, just a split second, I wished that I could somehow delete her from my past as well._

_But then the second passed, and the guilt set in. And, of course, my new-found obsession of wanting to know more about the cliché of a girl next door._

**~FOM~**

_He's everything you want_

_He's everything you need_

_He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be_

_He says all the right things_

_At exactly the right time_

_But he means nothing to you and you don't know why_

_**-Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 7- Lunar Eclipse**

**Bella POV**

The elation I felt when I got the triple salchow right was incredible. For the first time in the last few exhausting days, I felt a smile light up my face as I landed the jump and sailed across the rink.

The feeling was so amazing that I wanted to do it again; double it. I knew that I had been pushing myself and I knew that I probably shouldn't try again, but I did. And, this time, I fell.

Pain shot through my ankle as I landed on it awkwardly and tumbled to the ground. That didn't matter, though; I had done it a million times before, even a few times since I had arrived at the rink that afternoon. What did matter was the crack I felt tear through my heart as realisation sunk in for the last time. _Edward was pretty much gone._ His attitude toward me on the balcony had been the final twisted thing my mind could take and something inside me had finally snapped; I had lost my best friend. Perhaps for forever.

I didn't get up as the tears started to come. I sat there, the cold seeping through my clothes and my skin right to the bone. The tears turned into broken, gasping sobs as I sat against the side of the rink, my chest aching with longing to go back in time. I just wished that I could go back to Sunday evening. I would have done anything to stop this from happening. I would have gone back and put myself in front of him and die in his place if I could. I was pretty sure that dying wouldn't be as painful as this.

Suddenly, I heard Jacob call my name. "Bella? Bella, are you okay? That was a nasty fall- I was watching." He came to my side and put a hand on my shoulder. I shuddered, and squeaked out another sob and Jake's voice was softer then. "Bella? What hurts?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "Nothing hurts; I'm fine."

"Why are you crying?" Jake asked idiotically as he helped me to my feet and tugged me gently to the side.

I pulled my arm from his grasp and skated myself to the side. "I just…" I sighed as he came to my side and put an arm around my shoulder. "Oh Jake."

He was silent for a moment, and then he said, "It's him, isn't it? It's Edward."

I nodded, afraid that my voice would shake if I spoke.

"I heard what happened," he told me softly.

I looked up at his face in surprise. "You did?"

"Yeah, the whole school knows about his amnesia. That stuff spreads like wildfire- you know that, Bells."

I groaned and wiped at my eyes. Of course everyone would know by now. I wished that they didn't. Stupid small town.

"You're pretty torn up about this, huh?"

If I hadn't been so upset, I would have laughed. _No shit, Sherlock. _I sighed as that thought came to me in Edward's voice. That was what he had always said. I swallowed and then said, "I… it's… it's like I don't know him. It's like… I don't even know what it's like. In some ways I wish…" I stopped short halfway through my sentence, the guilt trying to drag me down. I had spent all night thinking about this, and most of the day too, and the guilt was so bad that it felt like I was drowning in it. But was it so bad to wish that I wasn't the only one to lose someone I loved so much? Was it so awful to wish that someone else knew what I was going through?

"You wish?" Jake prodded.

"I kind of… I wonder whether it would be better if he had…" The moment the words were out of my mouth, I felt awful; even worse than I already did. And I hadn't even said the one word that mattered.

"Died?" Jacob whispered it for me.

I nodded my admission. "I feel so bad for feeling like that but… I'm the only one who's lost him, Jake! He's fine, but I have to see him and know that every memory I have of him – of _us_ – he can't remember." And the worst thing was that it was the truth. It didn't seem fair that Edward's parents, and Alice, and all of his other friends would get to see him and talk to him, just the same as they always had, while I lost the most important person in my life.

How unfair was it that I had finally gotten what I had wanted for years, but it had been taken away in the blink of an eye? I remembered Sunday night. Remembered being so happy, knowing that I could kiss Edward whenever I wanted for the rest of my life. But now he didn't seem to be able to stand being around me. Now I wasn't even sure if we could be friends; I would always be waiting for him to remember, and he would always be waiting for me to forget.

Jacob hugged me tighter to his huge chest. "It's okay."

I pushed out of his grasp angrily. "It's not okay, Jacob! It's shit! I love him, Jake. And the other night, I thought that something was actually going right. For the first time ever. He told me that he loved me back, but now he can remember fuck all and I… I can remember everything."

Jake sighed. Then he pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Did you fuck him?"

I stared at him in disbelief and pushed myself out of his arms. "_What_?"

"Did you fu…?" Jacob trailed off when he realised from the expression on my face that I hadn't misheard him.

Despite the blush I felt on my cheeks, I glared at him. "Do you even know what a personal, ignorant question that is?"

He had the decency to look a little abashed. "So you did?"

I almost literally growled at him. "No. In case you don't remember, there was this terrible accident before we even got to the car."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, thinking. "So you were on your way to do it on the backseat?"

I gritted my teeth together. "Do you ever think with your brain? I mean, I knew you were a dickhead but I didn't realise you never thought with anything else?"

He scowled, but didn't take the hint. "Isn't that shit a little cliché?" he asked. "Edward's really put-out there, hasn't he? What a genius. Can't Eddie-boy think of a better way to pop your-" He didn't get a chance to finish.

"Ow!" I screamed when my fist connected with his jaw; I could have sworn that I head a snap. And it sure as hell hadn't come from his face. I started jumping around manically, as though I wasn't on the ice. "Ow, ow, owwww…"

"Bella?" Jake asked. "What happened to your hand?"

"Your chin's too hard!" I whimpered.

Jacob chuckled and came lightly to my side, trying to take my hand. "Here, let me take a look at-"

I snatched my hand back. "Piss off."

"What? Why? Don't you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"I can take myself!" I said stubbornly.

"You gonna drive with a broken hand?"

I scowled when I realised that he was right. "Fine," I snapped, "but don't talk to me, don't touch me… hell, don't even look at me."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, listening to me for the first time that day.

I didn't even look at him all the way to the hospital. I took myself into A&E, telling Jacob not to bother waiting; I'd walk home. He said he'd wait in the car and I ground my teeth together.

Carlisle saw to me. Luckily, it wasn't a break. I'd just cracked the knuckles kinda hard and sprained three of my fingers on the right hand. Carlisle told me he'd fit a brace and a bandage for a few days just in case.

He smiled to himself as he fitted the brace to my fingers. "A&E must be your second home now, huh Bella?" he asked humorously.

I snorted. "Something like that."

"I always thought skating was a bit of a dangerous sport. Wondered why Esme was so keen for Edward to do it with you."

I ignored the pang in my heart as he said Edward's name. "I didn't do this skating."

"No?"

I shook my head.

Carlisle waited for me to tell him so, when I didn't, he asked, "How did you do it then?"

I scowled at the floor. "I punched Jacob."

Dr Cullen laughed and wound a bandage around the brace. "And why did you do that?"

I blushed, remembering Jacob's suggestions. "He said some things that were… inappropriate. And then he insulted… _him_."

The smile faded from Carlisle's face into an expression of intense concentration. He finished the bandage in silence and then sat down next to me. He sighed. "You know, Bella, it'll get better."

I bit down hard on my lip. "How do you know?" I looked up at his face. "He's not going to remember me, Carlisle. I spoke to him earlier and he… he couldn't get away fast enough."

Carlisle pursed his lips. "Edward's… very confused. Think about it, he's stepped into a life he can't remember."

"That's not true. He can remember everything except for me."

Dr Cullen hugged me slightly. "Bella, you were a massive part of his life. He was in love with you, I know he was. I don't know if that's what you wanted, but I could see something in him that I saw in myself when I met Esme so many years ago. Plus, you should see how his life revolves around you. Like a moon around a planet."

I swallowed hard. "Now he's a lost moon," I croaked. "Lost and invisible and far, far away."

"Not lost," Carlisle corrected, "just… temporarily covered up."

I blinked up at him through my watery eyes. "Like an eclipse?"

He nodded and smiled at me. "Yeah. Like a lunar eclipse."

I sighed. "Will he ever remember?"

Carlisle smiled. "Bella, I will be surprised if he doesn't. I'm not saying that he will, or that it won't be hard, or that it won't take a long time. But eventually, I'm sure that he'll see something that will remind him of you. Even if just a little."

"Will he… will he remember what happened that night?" I asked quietly, thinking of the way he had kissed me.

Dr Cullen's clear blue eyes narrowed slightly. "Why? Bella, did something important happen? Is there something we should know? Anything that can help us to get Edward's memory back would be brilliant.

I shook my head slowly but then I started to cry. Reluctantly, I nodded very slowly.

"What is it?" he asked me softly. His voice reminded me so much of his son's.

I swallowed hard. "He… he gave me this." I hesitantly reached into my top and drew out the necklace that I hadn't taken off, even when I went to bed.

Carlisle looked at the necklace for a long moment, and then he lifted his gaze and looked at me. I could see in his eyes that he knew what the jewellery represented. "You love him, don't you?"

I nodded as the tears started to come faster, and little sobs escaped from my mouth. "He told me… he promised forever," I whispered.

Carlisle pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"If I had just told him to stay…"

But he cut me off. "_Don't you dare_ start blaming yourself. It was an accident."

I shook my head. "It wasn't!" I insisted. "It was me in the way of that bloody van! He took it instead of me." I sighed and stared blankly at the wall without seeing it. "I wish he hadn't…"

"Bella." He interrupted me again. "Look at me."

I looked up at his face.

"You are a wonderful, amazing, beautiful girl, and Edward still loves you. He just has to realise it himself first. You shouldn't take this on yourself; he wouldn't like it." Carlisle glanced at his watch then. "Now, I should get back to work; can't be accused of slacking."

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing as I slid off of the hospital bed.

"It's fine. Have you got a lift home?"

"Jacob," I replied through gritted teeth, my hand going to ball in anger. I flinched.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Carlisle grinned at me. "Now, go home and rest that hand and take some Tylenol if it's too painful. Come back if it continues to hurt."

I nodded and turned for the door.

"And Bella?"

I looked back. "Yeah?"

"Try staying out of A&E for a while, yeah?"

I smiled slightly. "I'll try. See you later, Carlisle. And thank you."

"Anytime," he replied.

**~FOM~**

Jacob dropped me home as he had promised; thankfully in silence. He had asked about my hand when I returned to the waiting room and had taken my exasperated grunt as a confirmation that I was fine.

I went straight up to my bedroom when I got in, and fired up my computer. I signed into msn and looked at one of the only two people I hadn't blocked; the only two people I ever wanted to talk to on here. Of course he wasn't online.

She was though. A new window opened.

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Hey Bells :)_

_Belly-boo: Hey Al_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Belly-boo?_

_Belly-boo: Shit. Edward must have hacked me again. Hang on a sec_

_**Belly-boo has changed her name to Bellaaa**_

_Bellaaa: Better?_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Not greatly imaginative but I'll go with_

_Bellaaa: Huh. You're really one to talk._

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: How are you? How was school? Dad just called; he said you were in the hospital. Are you okay? What did you do? What happened?_

_Bellaaa: Jeez, Al, one question at a time!_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Lol sorry. Start with the last few. The suspense is killing me!_

_Bellaaa: *rolls eyes* I'm always in A&E Al. Why are you so bothered?_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: … I may or may not have made a bet with my brother when Dad called…_

_Bellaaa: ALICE!_

_Bellaaa: Wait… which brother?_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Emmett. Edward never participated before anyway. He said it wasn't fair blah blah blah. I did ask him but he scowled at me and holed himself in his room. That fucker's in a bad mood right now. You're lucky you don't have to put up with him._

I felt a tear slide down my face. I didn't care what mood he was in, I just wanted him back.

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Sorry, B. That was stupid. I'm sorry. I do have a plan. But I'll tell you it after you've answered my questions… *hint hint*_

_Bellaaa: *sigh* I punched Jacob and his jaw is harder than my hand._

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Whyyy? :S_

_Bellaaa: Because he was being a bastard. He said some stuff about Edward that made me angry._

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Ha remind me not to get on your bad side._

_Bellaaa: So who won?_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Well, Emmett said that you'd tripped over your own feet and I said that you'd walked into something so… I don't know. Can u lie for me pls? There's $20 riding on this baby_

_Bellaaa: We'll see._

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Are u ok?_

_Bellaaa: … I dunno how to feel. I feel kinda… empty. Numb but… it's painful._

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Don't worry about a thing. I have a brilliant plan that can't fail_

I hesitated; Alice's plans were often something to fear. Big time.

_Bellaaa: What is it?_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Weeeeeelll… I am going to take you shopping and get u some nice new clothes etc and then I will make u look stunning everyday and Edward won't be able 2 take his eyes off of u_

_Bellaaa: I dunno Al… I don't need him to like me, just remember me_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: There's more! Be patient young one!_

_Bellaaa: …_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: Then when he's VERY attracted 2 u, he will ask u out. U guys spend time 2getha and he'll suddenly remember u! And if he doesn't… well, u'll get to date him won't u? Which, btw, u've wanted for aaaaaggess…_

_Bellaaa: But he's different Alice. He's not my Edward anymore._

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: He's there. U might have to do some diggin to get him out from under the surface. I have to go now for dinner, B. But I'll come round 2morrow morning and talk this plan ova with u. I promise it'll be gr8_

_Bellaaa: Fine. C u then x_

_Lil Miss Alllyyy: yep x_

Once Alice had gone, I signed out and sat back in my chair with a sigh. I scrolled back over the conversation, unsure of what to think of everything Alice had said.

Suddenly I was overcome with the desire to see him again. Just see him. Not necessarily talk to him. I tip-toed over to the window and unlocked it, climbing silently out and onto my veranda. Then I leant over the bar slightly and peered in through his window.

What I saw, though, made my heart sink.

He was in there, and he was pushing his furniture around. I watched as he pulled his bed away from the wall, where it mirrored mine, glaring angrily at the wall that split our bedrooms. He rammed it up against the opposite wall and pushed his wardrobe into the space where his bed had been.

With my heart in my stomach, I glanced back into my own room, expecting to see that that too had changed because our rooms couldn't possibly look different; hell, even the wallpaper was the same pattern and colour! But it hadn't changed. My bed was still pushed up against the wall, clinging to it. I swallowed back my tears and looked back into Edward's room.

He rubbed his hands on the back of his jeans and sighed. Then, he looked at the window, directly at me. I quickly ducked out of sight, praying to God that he thought that was imagining things. But I heard his footsteps come closer and the click that was the tell-tale sign of him opening his window.

Just as he was about to find me, I heard Esme call from inside. "Edward!" she yelled, sounding annoyed. "This is the third time I've called you! Come and help set the table _now!_"

I heard Edward hesitate and then he sighed, left the window open and retreated back inside. I smiled slightly, knowing that Esme wouldn't let death get in the way of helping out around the house. For once, I thanked her old-fashioned ways of running a family.

When I was certain that he was gone, I stood back up again on shaky legs. A breeze of wind blew through the trees and pulled goose pimples up on my forearms, making me shiver. I decided to glance into Edward's room quickly, but I instantly regretted it.

On the floor, was a photo frame that I hadn't noticed before. The glass was shattered and the photo inside torn. It looked like he had thrown it at something. I desperately wanted to know what the photo was of, but I was too far away.

So I glanced at the door of his room, which was ajar, and climbed carefully onto his veranda before sneaking through the window he had left open. Once I was inside, I bent down and picked up the photo, my heart splitting in two when I saw that it was a three-way photo. One of him, one of me and one of both of us.

I gasped quietly, and bent down to put the photo back as I found it, wishing that I hadn't bothered. Was I a masochist or something?

Suddenly, the door squeaked open.

I looked up to see Edward in the doorway.

"Shit," I squeaked.

He quirked an eyebrow, not seeming angry, and for a second – just a split second – I wondered if he remembered me. But then he said quietly, "Do I really mean so much to you?"

I blinked at him. "Everything," I whispered, looking back down at the floor. "You mean everything to me."

Edward sighed. Then he came to my side and, to my intense surprise, swept me into a huge hug.

I revelled in the feeling of being held by him again. His strong arms around me, his sweet scent all over me and his amazing abs pressed against my body. I knotted my hands at the small of his back and hugged him back for a long moment.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" Esme shrieked from downstairs.

"I'm coming!" he yelled back, making me jump slightly.

I bit my lip and looked away, back at the window.

Edward caught my chin and turned my face to look back at him. His eyes narrowed slightly.

Suddenly, an idea came to me. Without even stopping to think it over, I stood on my toes and reached up to press my lips briefly to his.

It didn't work. He pushed me off of him and stared at me. "What the fuck?"

I couldn't stop another tear from spilling over. "You're not even trying!" I accused him angrily. "You're not even trying to remember anything!"

"You want me dead!" he shot back.

I gaped at him; how did he know what I had told Jacob earlier? "What?"

Edward shook his head angrily, a sarcastic smirk I knew well plastered on his lips. "You're a two-faced little bitch, you know that?"

My face flushed red in anger. I hit his chest when words failed me, where I knew that it didn't hurt him.

Edward just laughed at me. "You know, Isabella, you're gonna fucking hate me by the time this week is out."

I doubted that, but I stuck my chin in the air in defiance. "Not if I already do."

He raised both of his eyebrows. "Whatever," he muttered, and then he turned and headed for the door. He turned back just before he disappeared. "Oh, and get out of my room. If you have any common sense, you won't sneak through my window again." Then he pulled the door shut behind him.

Once he was gone, I dissolved into a puddle of tears and climbed into his bed.

_Who was this new Edward? And why on earth did he suddenly hate me so much?_

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Awwww :( That wasn't in the plan tbh… but hell we'll go with it :L**

**Now, I promised H.L. Pennington that I'd post this yesterday for her birthday but I didn't realise that it was a Thursday and I go out on Thursdays so I didn't have it finished. So happy belated birthday H.L.! Same day as Rob, huh? (oh yeah happy bday to RPatz too :L)**

**I hope that you liked this chapter :D I didn't really like it too much as I got stuck in a fair few places but ce sera sera, it's not awful. I won't be holding a grudge against it :L**

**ARGH! Did you guys SEE the Oprah show? That clip! Pissed Edward is H.O.T. :L If you haven't seen it, then youtube it. It's AMAZING. And Kristen and Rob are so sweet :) "She's pregnant" :L Bless I think they're all such nice people :) I mean going round people's houses? Wowww I'm jealous :S**

**Okay, I have good news, bad news, even worse news and then some more good news :L I'll tell you it in that order.**

**Good news: I finished school today! Forever! So I have loads of time BUT the bad news is that I have to go back in for exams :( So while I practically start summer now… I don't. Because I have to revise for all of my exams and then do said exams. So basically updates will probably be LESS frequent.**

**The even worse news is that I'm going on a long weekend holiday til Wednesday seeing family up North. So there will probably not be another update for a week, or maybe longer. On any stories. (yes, sorry VTN readers. I know I promised an update today but I haven't got the next chapter done yet :S sorry)**

**But then the other good news is that I plan on posting the first chapter of the Mason story some time next week, or maybe the week after :D So all of you THWTLAL readers do not have to wait much longer now :)**

**So. To summarise, basically I have no idea when updates will be from now on. I will post as frequently as I can without flunking my exams :L**

**But please review anyway? :)**

**Thank you so much guys :D**

**Steph**


	8. Chapter 8: Something's Gotta Give

**Previously…**

_Edward just laughed at me. "You know, Isabella, you're gonna fucking hate me by the time this week is out."_

_I doubted that, but I stuck my chin in the air in defiance. "Not if I already do."_

_He raised both of his eyebrows. "Whatever," he muttered, and then he turned and headed for the door. He turned back just before he disappeared. "Oh, and get out of my room. If you have any common sense, you won't sneak through my window again." Then he pulled the door shut behind him._

_Once he was gone, I dissolved into a puddle of tears and climbed into his bed._

Who was this new Edward? And why on earth did he suddenly hate me so much?

**~FOM~**

_Please remember, please remember_

_I was there for you_

_And you were there for me_

_Please remember, our time together_

_The time was yours and mine_

_While we were wild and free_

_Please remember, please remember me_

_**-Please Remember, Leann Rimes **_**(A/N: okay, so more of a BPOV song but… very perfect for this story. Big thanks to twiXlite for the suggestion)**

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 8- Something's Gotta Give**

**Edward POV**

I slammed the door behind me as I stormed into the house, going straight for the kitchen. Esme was stood there flicking through a home magazine as she waited for whatever was in the oven to cook, Emmett was trying to balance a spoon on his nose – ever the idiot – and Alice was on the phone. They all looked up when I came in with a face like thunder.

I ignored them and grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl.

"It's nearly dinner," Esme told me, raising an eyebrow.

I sighed and dropped it back again before taking the seat next to my idiotic brother just as he got the spoon balanced. Then I hit the back of his head and laughed when it fell to the floor with a clatter.

"You moron!" Emmett yelled just as Alice came and sat at the table.

"That was Dad," she said, stopping the fight before it had even started. "He said that Bella's been in A&E _again_." She rolled her eyes and snorted.

"Is she okay?" I demanded without even thinking about it; like an automatic response. Maybe my body remembered her, even if my mind didn't. I remembered her fall before her conversation with that muscly twat and instantly started to panic.

"She's fine," Alice replied, with another roll of her eyes. Then she grinned. "Fancy placing any bets gentlemen?"

"Tripped over her own feet again," Emmett said casually, as though they did this shit everyday.

"What?" I asked

My lovely sister ignored me. "I'll say that she… walked into something."

"What?" I repeated. "But she was ice skating!"

Their eyes snapped to my face. "How did you know that?" Alice questioned suspiciously.

"I saw her leave," I lied.

They seemed to buy it and Alice turned to me to explain. "Bella lands herself in A&E all the time. We place bets on how she got herself there. Well… you think it's kinda cruel and rarely join in but I've gotten a lot of money off of this goofball thanks to your girlf… Bella."

I pretended I hadn't heard her slip. Bella _hadn't_ been my girlfriend, I was sure of it… had she?

"Wanna join? You're saying skating accident, right?" Emmett checked.

I glared at him. "What? No. Even though it was a skating accident, I'm sure, I'm not gonna take your money because of her."

Alice snorted. "Bella never hurts herself when she's skating. She's been skating for years and if she falls she never hurts herself; she's just a klutz off of the ice."

"Twenty bucks?" Emmett offered Alice.

"You're on," she agreed, shaking his hand.

"You guys are sick," I muttered, scraping my chair back and going upstairs.

I pushed my door open and went into my bedroom. Someone – probably Mum, judging by the way it was miraculously tidier – had been in my bedroom, and the photo of Bella and I that I had stuffed in the drawer sat on my bed. I went over and picked it up, looking down at her.

The strange thing was that whenever I looked at her face, I got mixed feelings. Memories and emotions struggled to get through, and pain filtered through a few holes here and there. And now… now there was a brand new hatred that came because of what she had said at the ice rink. Just remembering it made me shake with anger. I wouldn't even wish my worst enemy dead. And apparently we had been best friends.

I threw the photo at the floor, watching with satisfaction as the glass shattered and the photo tore right down the middle.

I went to the window and looked diagonally across into hers, noticing something I hadn't that morning: even our bedrooms mirrored the others.

I had deleted her from my phone; now I'd delete her from my bedroom.

I turned back to my room and started to push the furniture around, moving the wardrobe out of the way so that I could push my bed to the opposite wall. A few minutes later, the wardrobe was pushed up against the wall that split mine and Bella's bedroom.

As Esme called me for dinner for the second time in the last few minutes, I rubbed my hands on the backs of my jeans and sighed. I looked around my room, proud of my handiwork, but then my eyes caught a chocolate brown pair through the window. I froze, but when I blinked, she had disappeared. I frowned and walked toward the window, pushing it open and leaning out.

"Edward!" My mother's voice interrupted me. "This is the third time I've called you! Come and help set the table _now!_"

I briefly considered ignoring Esme's annoyance, but then I sighed and went back over to the door. Halfway across my room, though, I heard that tell-tale sign of relief. That pathetic, nosey hanger-on. Why was she spying on me anyway? Did she suspect me of something? Stupid cow.

I headed downstairs, and then an idea hit me. I mumbled some excuse to my Mum about needing the bathroom. She shot me a stern glance but told me to hurry up and I darted back upstairs. I pushed my door open and was unsurprised to find her stood in the middle of the room.

"Shit," she muttered and her cheeks flushed crimson.

That flush triggered feelings within me that disarmed me. And when I looked at her in the flesh, I realised that I couldn't stay angry with her, no matter what she had said. I looked at the floor; the bits of glass around her feet. "Do I really mean so much to you?"

She looked down at the floor as well before replying. "Everything," she whispered almost too-intensely. "You mean everything to me."

And as I watched her blush, I was suddenly taken over by the urge to hug her. So I went to her side and wrapped my arms hesitantly around her little body. I was surprised by how well she fit there; like she was made just to be in my arms. And then she hugged me back and a strange kind of electricity fizzed through my veins, making every hair stand on end and every thud of my heart harder against my ribcage. But of course the moment would be interrupted by my mother.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back after she called my name.

Bella jumped slightly in my arms and looked away from my gaze, embarrassed.

On impulse, I caught her chin with my finger and turned her head to face mine. My eyes wandered to her lips, and for an instant I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. I felt a furrow appear between my eyes as I wondered where these fucked up feelings were coming from. And then she kissed me.

A combination of shock, annoyance and confusion hit me instantly. But that wasn't why I pushed her away. What made me push her away was the strange familiarity mingled with the absolute _necessity_. As soon as her lips touched mine, I knew that I needed her and that scared the shit out of me. Because I didn't know her! And she hated the new me!

I pushed her a few feet back and stared at her in disbelief. "What the fuck?"

She started crying then and that hurt me too. "You're not even trying! You're not even trying to remember anything!" The anger in her tone annoyed me. It was as though she thought me incompetent. She was being so… _selfish_. Did she think that the whole world revolved around her or something? How could she go from wanting me dead to kissing me in the space of a few hours?

The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. "You want me dead!"

Her mouth fell open with a quiet pop. "What?"

"You're a two-faced little bitch, you know that?"

She didn't have a come-back this time. She hit me gently; I barely felt it.

"You know, Isabella, you're gonna fucking hate me by the time this week is out." And it was true. I wasn't going to take any of her shit anymore.

"Not if I already do."

I raised my eyebrows. "Whatever." I turned and headed for the door. "Oh, and get out of my room. If you have any common sense, you won't sneak through my window again." Then I left her standing there in the middle of my room. She could make whatever the fuck she wanted out of what I had just said; I didn't want anything more to do with her.

**~FOM~**

After dinner – and a lecture from my mother – I headed back up to my bedroom still in the goddamn awful mood that Bella had put me in.

The awful mood only flared when I opened my bedroom door to find her curled up asleep on my bed.

I went to her side and sat next to her, watching the bed dip slightly with my weight. I brushed a strand of hair out of her face and smiled sadly; she was so pretty when she was sleeping. Maybe I had been a little too harsh on her earlier. Maybe she didn't deserve the hell I had been intending to give her.

I was confused, and no doubt she was too. But then, my confusion probably went further than hers. Not only could I not remember a thing about her, but I had these damn feelings for her and I didn't know whether I should act on them or not. I knew what I _should_ do; wake her up and talk to her, like a normal human being. We should talk it out, I should find out what I had been like and she should understand how I felt about her.

Two things stopped me from doing that.

The first was that I was a coward. I didn't want to tell her that I thought I was maybe in love with her- and I may or may not have felt this way before the accident.

The second thing was that this was real life. Not a fucking movie, or story with a 'happily ever after'. I'd wake her up and then get mad at her all over again. We'd end up yelling at each other and hurting each other's feelings. On top of that, she was hardly going to fall into my arms and tell me how much she loved me after the way I treated her. So telling her would just embarrass her and myself.

So instead of doing the thing that I should have done, I did the very human thing of stuffing the problem in the back of my mind and pretending that it didn't exist. Then, I scooped her into my arms and carried her gently over to my bedroom door; there was no way I'd be able to get her through that window.

I carried her down the stairs as quietly and carefully as I could, and thankfully no one noticed as I slipped out of the front door. When the cold air hit her skin, Bella whimpered slightly and turned into me, her fingers grasping my shirt tightly. The wind blew gently, whipping her hair up around her face and I caught a whiff of strawberries and freesia and intoxicating girl.

I walked around the picket fence that separated our front gardens and then up her drive, knocking on the door of Bella's house and then waiting for someone to answer.

A man who I vaguely recognised from blurred memories of watching him through windows opened the door and blinked at me. "Edward? What are you…?" Then he caught sight of his daughter in my arms. "Oh. What happened?"

I pursed my lips. "Um… I think she climbed through my window?" I chucked a question mark on the end of my statement for good measure.

The man blushed – that was where Bella must have gotten it from – and reached out to take her from me. "Oh. Sorry. She's… having a bit of a tough time at the moment."

"Mmm…" I mumbled as he took the girl from me. But she muttered something in her sleep and held onto my shirt tighter. I bit my lip and brought my now-free hands up to hers and attempted to loosen the grip.

Her father chuckled slightly. "She's always been a bit of a hanger-on," he joked. When I didn't laugh, he cleared his throat and asked, "So how are you?"

I finally pried her fingers off of my shirt. Then I shrugged. "Confused."

"I'll bet," he agreed.

"I'll see you around," I said, eager to end this awkward conversation, and then I turned and started to head back up his path.

"Edward, wait," Bella's Dad stopped me halfway down the drive.

I reluctantly went back to the door. "Yeah?"

"I just… I wanted to thank you properly. I know you can't remember it but…" He sighed awkwardly, and shifted Bella in his arms. "Bella told us that you… you pushed her out of the way. That you stopped her from being hit. I don't think she could have survived such a nasty accident; she's not strong like you are. So… thanks. I owe you my daughter's life."

I blinked; this was all news to me. "Um… you're welcome."

He nodded sadly. "That's all. I'll see you around Edward."

"Yeah. Goodbye… Sir."

He chuckled. "It's Charlie, Edward."

"Bye Charlie." I smiled slightly and then turned and headed back for my own house.

Once I was back in my own room, I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking. I had put myself in the path of the accident to save Bella's life.

I wished someone had told me that before.

Now I knew that I must have had these confusing feelings before the accident. No one would do that for someone they didn't feel this strongly about… would they? Would _I_?

I rolled on to my side and closed my eyes, trying to remember something – _anything_ – about my old life. But all I could remember when I tried so hard that my head hurt was a girl laughing. A beautiful song-like laugh that made me wish I could go back to a time when I knew the laugh; a time when I was best friends with the beautiful girl that smelt like strawberries and freesia and did funny things to my heart.

I felt sleep coming and, though it was technically far too early for sleeping, I let it wash over me like a lullaby.

Just before I fell into the deep black hole that was a deep ad dreamless sleep, I heard the laugh again. But this time it was followed by some speech. First there was a deeper voice and I thought – though I couldn't be sure – that it was mine. And then was a beautiful light voice replying.

"_Say you'll be mine forever." _That was the deep voice.

"_I will," _the other voice replied_. "Forever, and ever, and ever…"_

I wondered briefly how long 'forever' really was… and then sleep took me.

**~FOM~**

The next few days passed in a whirlwind. I settled back into school 'really well' (Mr Banner's words to Mum, not mine), I fell back into an easy friendship with Jasper, Alice's boyfriend, and I managed to catch up with my school work by Thursday. Nobody mentioned the accident, or my amnesia; everyone tip-toed round it like my head would spontaneously combust if they said the word 'car'. It was ridiculous but in some ways I was grateful.

The only part of school that had been affected by my amnesia was a partnered project, which Bella finished for both of us. That had been the only time I'd spoken to her since the day I had found her in my bedroom. Both of us had been actively avoiding each other after that.

Unless you count the note I found under my window. All it said on it was _sorry_ but I wasn't stupid enough not to know who it had come from.

Excluding that, though, we had had no contact. That didn't mean that I didn't watch her.

I watched as she unwillingly exiled herself to her solitary seat, and then I watched as she sat there throughout the lesson dutifully taking notes with a look of pure concentration on her face. Nobody ever took the seat next to her. Instead, they whispered about her and giggled about her in the cafeteria. They always referred to her as 'Edward Cullen's friend' or 'that girl in the corner'.

I watched as she made her way meekly along the corridors, letting people push her out of their way and trip her. Nobody offered to pick up her books. Instead, they laughed and called her a klutz as they walked by.

I watched as she waited to be picked last for every team in gym, and then I watched as she struggled to catch a ball or hit a shuttlecock on one of the rare occasions that a teammate would take notice of her. Nobody offered to help her up when she fell down. Instead, they trampled on her and shouted at her for losing them the game.

I watched as she walked to her truck after school, head down and arms filled with books. Nobody offered to carry them for her, or even said a polite goodbye. Instead, they completely ignored her, their eyes passing over her hunched body as though it were invisible.

I wished that I could help her. I wondered if her life had been different before the accident, whether I had stuck up for her then or let all of this go right over my head. But I just watched. And then I went home and watched some more.

I watched from the auditorium as she spent every afternoon perfecting her routine. Sometimes that Jake bastard was there, but sometimes she was alone. Whichever it was, her skating captivated me and made me want to tell her how talented she was. I should have done. But I didn't.

I watched as she curled up on her bed in the evenings, sometimes doing homework, sometimes reading a book. And sometimes, she just sat there and cried. I should have knocked on her window and held her while she cried. But I didn't.

I didn't do anything. And not only because of our not-relationship. I didn't do anything because the feelings I had for her were starting to scare me. They ran deeper than I had originally thought and it scared the shit out of me that I could harbour such feelings and not have a clue why. She truly had become my obsession now, and the way that felt just cannot be put into words.

But even though I hadn't got the guts up to do any of the things I knew that I should have done at school to make her life that much less shit, I was trying so hard to remember her. I had searched my bedroom and even crossed over to hers when she wasn't in to steal her shampoo. But all I could remember was her laugh.

At least I knew that that was a memory because I sure as hell hadn't heard it since the accident.

I was doing more watching when Jasper finally broached the subject with me one day. It was morning registration and Bella was sat at a desk right in the back corner of the room. She was reading and I was watching. Always watching.

"Edward," Jasper said hesitantly, "why don't you just talk to her?"

My eyes snapped to his face. "What?"

"Bella. You guys used to be joined at the hip. Like seriously joined, man." He gestured to her. "She doesn't really have any other friends."

"I noticed," I muttered darkly.

"And you're always staring at her," Jasper continued, either not hearing or choosing to ignore my interruption. "I mean, whenever you look at her, your brow furrows so hard that I think your head's gonna freaking implode!"

I felt my eyes narrow. "I wonder why that is?" I asked sarcastically. "Could it be because I have no flaming idea who she is, but everyone tells me that we used to be 'joined at the hip'," I quoted his words sourly.

Jasper sighed. "I'm sorry. But… I feel sorry for her. And I don't know her that well."

"I'm working on it, okay?" I snapped. "You think I can just go up to her and strike a conversation when I have _no idea_ what I used to be like? What if I was different? What if I was a whole other person and she doesn't expect me to have changed?"

"Edward, you're no different," Jasper said with a laugh. "Trust me."

I looked back at the girl in the corner and thought about his words. Just as I was contemplating taking Jasper's advice, she lifted her eyes and met my gaze. A shot of electricity shot through my body at the eye contact, but I couldn't look away. Red lit her cheeks, but she didn't blink either. It was like I was trapped in her eyes.

And the scariest thing was that it was almost familiar.

I tried to hold onto that familiarity, but when someone passed between us her eyes shot back to her book and it was gone faster than it had come.

I sat back in my chair and shook my head in annoyance.

Really, these things come to a point where something's gotta give.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aww… :)**

**Well… good news and bad news. Good news- this being all apart and mopey bit is not going to last much longer! Woo- about time much? :L Bad news- it's gonna be a short story, this one. By my standards at least lol I'll hazard a guess at around about 20 chapters? I don't really know yet… but not hugely long unless major inspiration strikes :L**

**Sorry about the late(ish) update but I was all set to post on Saturday but a facebook vote said that you wanted a longer chapter later rather than a shorter chapter earlier. Believe it or not, this is three pages longer than what I had been intending to post ;)**

**Btw! I've made a couple of banner-type things for this story, VTN and PTP (the collab). They're on my facebook and I'll probably post them on my website while I'm watching Glee in a couple of hours. So if you want to check those out then feel free :D**

**And I feel the need to say right here what amazingly awesome people you all are! 400 reviews for 7 chapters? That means an awful lot to me :) And you're all so kind too :D**

**Now… if you want to carry on putting a smile on my face throughout these long-ass revising days… I'd love it :D**

**Thank you! :)**

**Steph**


	9. Chapter 9: An Hour at Starbucks

**Previously…**

_I looked back at the girl in the corner and thought about his words. Just as I was contemplating taking Jasper's advice, she lifted her eyes and met my gaze. A shot of electricity shot through my body at the eye contact, but I couldn't look away. Red lit her cheeks, but she didn't blink either. It was like I was trapped in her eyes._

_And the scariest thing was that it was almost familiar._

_I tried to hold onto that familiarity, but when someone passed between us her eyes shot back to her book and it was gone faster than it had come._

_I sat back in my chair and shook my head in annoyance._

_Really, these things come to a point where something's gotta give._

**~FOM~**

_You just sit there, quiet, with your fake smile_

_Don't tell me, don't tell me_

_Everything's alright and you're happy_

_Is it something you can say? I'll stay all night_

_So tell me, so tell me_

_What is there to hide? I'm with you_

_**-I'm With You (Don't Tell Me), Go:Audio**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 9- An Hour at Starbucks**

**Edward POV**

Butterflies swirled in my stomach as I waited. And I was just one of the many people watching in the auditorium; I wasn't alone today.

Mum looked over at me from the corner of her eye, and I resisted the urge to say something snarky; subtlety really wasn't her bag. Like when she had begged me to come today. Her 'oh but it would mean _so_ much to Bella' excuse was really obvious. It had been crystal clear to me that her excuses told me that Bella wouldn't know if I came or not; Esme wasn't about to break the girl's heart by telling her. But I had given in anyway. Esme had thought that I was making an effort to remember. She wasn't aware of the fact that I was up here almost everyday watching my neighbour practice the routine that she was about to perform to hundreds. She wasn't aware of the fact that I was falling in love with this girly sport.

I frequently wondered why I hadn't skated in the life I had forgotten about. I mean, if my best friend was a pro then surely the appeal to do it would have been even stronger than it was now? Though I supposed that I didn't blame myself for not taking it up. It was a pretty emasculating sport; even the hulk that was more commonly known as Jacob looked like a freaking pussy in his skin-tight costume. It was baby pink too.

That didn't stop his numerous local 'fans' from squealing and shouting and screaming when he and Bella skated into the centre of the rink after their names had been called. Most of said fans had unfortunately been seated right behind me. My fists clenched angrily as I heard one whisper, "Ohmigod look at those _muscles_! He's _sooo_ been working out again!"

I chanced a glance over my shoulder to see a girl with auburn ringlets nod enthusiastically. "I know, right? That girl who dances with him is, like, so lucky."

Pathetic. If only they knew what a tactless bastard he really was.

A quiet hush fell over the stadium as Jacob and Bella took their positions at the opposite ends of the rink. My breath caught in my throat as my whole body tensed. This was it. This was the competition that they had been practising for since… before I could remember. In the literal sense of the phrase.

And then the music to Taylor Swift's _Love Story_ came on, and they started their dance. I knew it inside out, after watching the practices in the entire fortnight leading up to it, so I would have noticed if there were any wobbles. There weren't. It was absolutely faultless, of course. They skated, danced, jumped, spun and landed everything with perfect precision, right down to the expressions painted on their faces as they looked at each other. I would be lying if I said that the look of absolute adoration covering Bella's face didn't cut me like a knife. In fact, I would have given anything to see inside her head in that one moment.

When they finished the routine, the auditorium around the Seattle rink burst into huge applause as people got to their feet. I stood and clapped too, but my eyes were on Bella. Always Bella.

Just then, she looked into the stand, directly at me. She met my eyes and I watched as hers widened and then blood rushed up to colour her cheeks as she looked away, a shy smile pulling up her lips.

Suddenly, I wished that I could remember. I had wished for the same thing before, but never this strong. I wished that I could run down and pull her into my arms after and congratulate her and praise her for being so brilliant, so perfect. But I couldn't do that now.

Everyone sat back down as they waited for the scores to come through, and I followed suit, taking my seat in between Esme and Alice, but then I was instantly jarred by an image so clear that it was almost a psychic vision. Except I knew that it wasn't a psychic vision. It was accompanied by a strange sense of déjà vu and another sense of longing. It was a memory.

I pushed open the door of a cafe – I instantly recognised it as the cafe at the ice rink in Forks – and stepped inside, my eyes instantly zoning in on a table in the corner. I watched as Jacob passed Bella a love heart and my eyes narrowed. I started to walk towards them, my gaze fixed on the beautiful girl ahead of me. When I was close enough to smell her shampoo, I gently put my hands around her eyes and bent down to whisper in her ear, ignoring the glare I was sent from The Hulk. "Guess who?" I murmured, my lips brushing against her ear.

Bella shivered and then pretended to think about it. "Um… is it Brad Pitt? Oh Brad, have you finally come to rescue me?"

I laughed, and then settled into the seat next to her, flinging my arm protectively around her shoulders and raising my eyebrows at Jake, as if daring him to try something. "Not interrupting anything, am I?" My tone was patronising; egotistical. It was as if I knew that Bella would always favour me over The Hulk and it sent a boost straight to my self-esteem.

"Not too much," Jacob replied with a sneer. He clearly disliked me as much as I disliked him. Well… maybe not quite as much.

Ignoring the kick Bella had landed on my leg, I smirked right back at him. "Good. Then you won't mind me taking Bella away for our _date_." The way I said the last word was thick with implications- designed to taunt Jacob. I wondered whether it was _just_ to taunt him or… or something else?

The vision that had been playing out behind my eyelids vanished when the auditorium erupted again. I cheered, too, and stood up and clapped but I didn't know what I was clapping for. I was too busy thinking about what I had just remembered.

When I said date did I mean… _date_ or just… date? _Had_ we been dating? It would explain why I felt the way I did about Bella, and why she had been so torn up about it to start with, and my hatred toward Jacob? Did I hate him because she was _mine_ and he clearly liked her?

I blinked and forced my mind back into the present just in time to watch Bella blush and accept the flowers given to her and Jacob for _winning_ the competition. As the commentator announced it over the speakers, her eyes darted to where I was sat. She caught my eye again and, this time, she held it. She smiled right at me and I smiled back.

It was then that I realised. I had so many questions, but they didn't have to remain unanswerable. I could ask the one person who would know better than anyone else. I could ask _her_.

I broke our eye contact, and turned, making my way out of the auditorium. I ignored the stares I felt on my back; I had to get down to the dressing rooms and be waiting outside Bella's before anyone else was.

**Bella POV**

Edward was here. The moment I met those sparkly green eyes for the first time, I knew that it was him. I didn't even have to look at the rest of his body.

What the hell was Edward doing at a skating tournament? Even more so now that he didn't even remember me!

Since he had caught me spying on him almost two whole weeks ago now, I had done my best to avoid him; I didn't need the embarrassment or the awkwardness. It had been a lonely few weeks, and I could have done with a friend at school or something, but I repetitively told myself that it was better this way. I was even starting to believe it.

Alice had worked her magic on me on the Saturday morning, as she had promised, and she had made me look fantastic, but Edward didn't appear to have noticed. Jacob did.

Just a few days after I had been transformed into 'hot Bella' (Alice's words, not mine), Jacob had commented on how much of my cleavage he could see because of my new top. It had taken all of my self-control to not break my other hand, and I had gone straight round to Alice's (tactfully avoiding Edward) and given her back the clothes, insisting that it just wasn't me. Alice had scoffed and said "that coming from the girl who performs in front of hundreds of people in a freaking leotard" but luckily she hadn't pushed me, and had taken her expensive clothes back without me needing to point out that skating was just that- a performance.

Needless to say, when Jacob and I had skated out at the competition I still hadn't quite forgiven him. He had been apologetic, and bought me flowers- the whole works. But… I just didn't want to forgive him. For either of his inappropriate comments.

I wasn't sure _why_ I didn't want to forgive him. I mean, he was being a hell of a lot nicer than Edward was at that moment in time. And if Edward came up to me and told me that he remembered everything, I'd launch myself into his arms quite willingly. Hell, if Edward said two words to me I'd launch myself into his arms.

Of course, he did nothing of the sort. He ignored me, and I ignored him. Occasionally, I caught him watching me in school, a crease decorating his forehead and the sides of his mouth turned down. I often wondered what he was thinking when I caught him doing this, but I was too chicken to approach him.

Though that was due in large part to the embarrassment I felt after Charlie had told me that Edward had had to bring me home. I had fallen asleep in his bed. There was really nothing more mortifying.

I wasn't really mentally there as Jake and I were crowned champions of the regional competition and it was announced that we were going through to the nationals. I was caught up in a pair of smouldering emeralds, and I couldn't for the life of me look away. But, in the end, I didn't have to. He turned away and abruptly left the stadium, as though he was ashamed to be seen there. Which wasn't unlikely.

I pasted a false smile on my face after that, thanking the people that congratulated us, and pretending not to notice Jake's hand around mine for our image's sake. Finally, Jake and I reached the privacy of our dressing room. I went to pull the partition across so that I could change into my normal clothes and maybe catch Edward before he left, but Jake caught my wrist.

"Jake!" The irritation at him that had built up over the past few weeks finally made me snap. "Will you _please_ leave me alone? I want to get changed, okay?"

His dark eyes saddened slightly and he let me go, looking dejected. "I just…" he trailed off and then forced a smile at me. "Sure."

But there was something in his eyes that made my heart pang in my chest. "What? What is it?"

"I just wanted to ask you… if you…" He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Will you come for a drink with me? Just now; it won't take long. I just… there's something… ugh! I want to talk to you." He bit his lip nervously.

I shook my head sadly, trying to keep my anger in check. "I've told you, I don't…"

"Not as a date," he added quickly. "Just… just as friends."

I hesitated. I didn't particularly want to go out with him right now. I was still mad at him for everything that he had said and everything with Jacob now was… weird. We couldn't go anywhere without it getting awkward in some way. But then, I looked up into his dark eyes and saw pain there. And, regardless of how annoyed I was with him, he was still my friend. And I didn't like my friends being in pain. So I gave in. "Yeah. Okay. Just… give me a sec to change."

"Sure," he agreed. He flashed me a quick smile and then pulled the partition across himself.

I sighed and changed out of my skating gear and into a pair of jeans and the top Jake had given me on Valentines Day. Even though that was only two weeks ago, it felt like months. Years, even. It felt like that had been a different life altogether. The life that Edward had been a part of; the better life.

I packed up my stuff and then cleared my throat awkwardly and called to Jake, asking if I could pull the partition across. When he replied with a 'yeah' I pulled it back and smiled at him. "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"S'okay," he muttered, "I don't really blame you. I'm an ass, aren't I?"

I laughed a little. "You're no more of an ass than I am."

"You ready to… uh… brave the onslaught?" he asked.

I cringed, remembering that my erratic mother would have come along. And, no doubt, she'd be outside the dressing rooms waiting to squeal at me about how amazing I am. I wasn't wrong.

"Bella!" she exclaimed excitedly when Jake and I emerged from the dressing rooms. She pulled me into a massive hug. "Baby, you were _brilliant_ out there! Oh, sweetie, I'm so proud!"

"Mum, are you crying?" I asked in disbelief.

She put me down and wiped at her wet eyes. "I'm just… oh I'm so proud!" she repeated.

I nodded awkwardly. "Um… it's good to see you."

"Yes, you too, honey. Shall Phil and I drive you back to your Dad's?"

I looked over to see Charlie hovering as Phil talked at him; probably something about baseball knowing Phil. Charlie waved at me and put his thumbs up. I smiled and waved back before answering Renee. "No, I'll meet you there." I jabbed a thumb in Jake's direction, where he was speaking to his father, Billy. "I promised to go to coffee with Jake. It seemed… important. Besides, someone needs to drive the truck home." I shuddered; I wasn't looking forward to the drive from Seattle back to Forks. At least I'd have Jake with me this time; he had travelled with Charlie and Billy on the way up. On the other hand, having Jake with me could be awkward.

My Mum winked at me with the subtlety of a freaking elephant. "Ah, it's like _that_ is it Bells? I get it. Take as long as you want." Her eyes appraised Jacob's body. "He's a nice bit of man meat that one." She hugged me once more and then turned for the door, taking Phil's hand as she went out. Charlie started to follow, but then she turned back and yelled, "Be safe, Bella!"

I flushed a deep crimson as everyone in the foyer turned to look at me, but Renee didn't notice as she had already gone. There were times, like this one, when I really disliked my mother. I loved her, but I didn't really like her.

I glanced over at Jake to see him still talking with Billy, so I leant back against the wall, closing my eyes for a second. It wasn't long before someone cleared their throat in front of me. I opened my eyes to see whose way I was in… and then regretted it when I was met with the stunning visual that was my… ex-best-friend? Ex-boyfriend? Well, whatever. It was Edward.

He ran his hand nervously through his gorgeous hair. "Um… hi."

I felt blood pool at my cheeks as I looked down at my feet. "Hey," I said softly.

"You're… um… pretty talented," he complimented shyly.

Well, this wasn't at all awkward. "Thanks," I replied, and then I said, because I just couldn't help myself, "Why are you here?"

He blinked, slightly taken aback, and then answered, "Esme bought me a ticket and… well, she told me to come."

"Oh." I was still yet to lift my eyes from the ugly burgundy carpet to look at his face, and I started to shuffle my feet anxiously. "Is Esme here? Like… around?"

"No."

"Oh. Did she… like the competition?" This was a stupid question; I knew that the moment I got home there would be a congratulatory card waiting for me from the whole family. Edward had always rolled his eyes at his Mum's 'embarrassing' generosity. I thought it was lovely. I had a whole draw full of the congratulations cards that had accumulated over the years.

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Alice was here too."

Instead of idiotically repeating 'oh' again, I just nodded my head. I wondered why he had come to the foyer and waited outside of my dressing room without Esme or Alice, if they had both come. I considered asking, but I didn't want this moment to get any worse than it already was.

We stood in silence for a few more minutes, but then he broke it. "Bella, I…"

But interruption was inevitable. Jacob sidled up to me and raised an eyebrow at Edward. "What are you doing here?"

I looked up now, silently thanking Jake for asking the question I hadn't had the guts to.

Edward shuffled uncomfortably. "Um… I… I'm waiting for my Mum. Don't let me keep you."

Jacob nodded. "We won't. Come on, Bella."

And then I was lightly being pulled toward the door. I could have pulled out of Jake's grasp – for once it wasn't tight – but I didn't want to. I just muttered 'bye' to Edward and followed Jake. But when we reached the door, I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward with his head buried in his hands.

I hesitated for a split second, but then Jacob called my name and I turned to him with a smile, pushing Edward firmly out of my head for the moment.

**~FOM~**

Jake was silent as we sat in the back corner of a nearby Starbucks, him stirring sugar into his coffee and me spooning the whipped cream off of my hot chocolate and into my mouth.

After a long while of silence, I sighed and put my mug down on the saucer. "So are you gonna tell me what you desperately wanted to back at the rink or are we gonna sit here in silence for an hour?"

Jacob put his mug down too, and circled the rim with his left pinky finger. "Um… I don't really know where to start…"

How was I supposed to respond to that? "Well, just… um… just say it?"

He looked up and met my eyes. "Before I say anything, can you… will you promise me that, no matter what, you'll still be my friend? And, preferably my skating partner…"

I nodded slowly, wondering what on earth was going on and how it could be so important that I'd ditch him as a friend _and_ a skating partner. "Yeah. I promise."

Jacob took a deep breath and looked back at the table. Then he said softly, "I… I know you're mad at me for asking you out a lot. But I don't want you to be. And… well, you're my best friend so… I think I should tell you that…" He hesitated and then blurted out, "I think I'm gay."

I was glad that I had had the sense not to take a gulp of hot chocolate or I might have choked on it. What? Jacob Black was gay? The guy I had known for years; more than half of my life? The guy I knew inside out? The guy who had repetitively tried to persuade me to date him? Jeez, he had put on a good act. "I'm…" I searched for a word. "Um… confused."

Jake rolled his eyes. "I know. Me too. But… no one knows, so you have to promise that you won't tell. Please?"

I smiled at him slightly, starting to recover from the shock. "Of course I won't tell, Jake. Friends don't do that." But then I frowned. "If you don't like me like that then… why did you keep asking me out?"

Jacob sighed. "This is the embarrassing part." He hesitated again.

I reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Hey. It's okay. I'll be here for you no matter what, 'kay?"

He nodded slowly. "Uh… well. My Dad is… kinda… he doesn't like gay kids. That was why it was originally such a battle to get him to let me do figure skating; he said it was a sport for poufs. But Mum persuaded him otherwise. And… I know Mum would support me but, my Dad is… difficult, and my Mum's not here anymore. So… I just…" He raked a hand through his hair and reminded me of Edward for a split second. "Well, I'm seventeen, Bella. How many guys get to seventeen without a girlfriend? Dad kept dropping hints for me to bring a girlfriend home, and pointing out various girls. Hell, he even invited a few to the house!"

I grinned. "Ouch. It sounds like trying to live with Renee. Did any of them… catch your attention?"

Jake cracked a small smile at my joke and then shrugged. "Nope. None of them. And then one night about a month ago, my Dad came to me and said 'Jake, I know what's wrong with you'." Jake's imitation of his Dad's voice was spot-on. "I panicked, but then he said 'you like Bella, don't you?'. And, at the time, it was just easier to go along with it. I was going to tell you… and ask you to maybe pose as my girlfriend or something but… it was so scary. So I asked you out instead. I wasn't going to use you or anything," he hastened to add, "I mean, I knew how head over heels you were for…" he trailed off, not wanting to say Edward's name. "But I persisted – because I'm an irritating bastard – and now you hate me and I feel shitty for annoying you so much…"

I cut him off then. "Jake. Honestly, it's fine." And it was the truth. A part of it was the relief to have Jake's sudden crush on me explained. I remembered when he had asked me out for Valentines Day and I had been so confused, wondering what other secrets he was hiding from me. I had never considered this.

"It is?" He, too, looked hugely relieved.

I smiled and squeezed his hand again. "Of course it is. I understand." Then I bit my lip and added, "But I do think that you should tell your Dad."

"I will," he said. "Just… not now. I can't do that now."

I nodded. "Sure. Well. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me." I paused before saying, "And, if you still want, I don't mind dropping by your house sometime and uh… pretending." I winked at him. "And you can hold my hand if you want to."

He beamed. "Are you sure?"

"Certain."

"Wow, I wish I had said something earlier now," he joked.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I'm more than happy to hold your hand as long as I know that it doesn't mean more to you than it does to me."

"Believe me, it doesn't." He backtracked fast then. "Not that you're not pretty or anything. I mean, you're gorgeous but…"

"Not your type?" I put in with a laugh. "I know."

Jake just smiled at me and I was relieved that I had sorted out that fallout in the very least. Now there was just the fallout with Edward that I had to sort. But I had a feeling that that was something that couldn't be fixed in an hour at Starbucks.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Please, please do not hate me! (I'm talking mostly to the team Jacobs out there…) But… well, it's been planned since the start and I'm not one to chicken out :L Besides, how many straight guys would happily do a skating routine to **_**Love Story**_** in pink lycra? I don't think I know one :L**

**Now, this chapter is actually really long for me (more than 4,000 words :D) so I hope that makes up for the lack of updates. I hated this story for a while and got such bad writer's block on it that I'd glare at the folder every time I saw it :L But I think I'm catching up with it now; I've got it under control now :) I hope :L**

**But poor Edward huh? He's all trying to remember but he can't! Well, I feel sorry for him… :L**

**And Bella… she doesn't know whether she's coming or going :(**

**And Jake… well, no I don't feel sorry for him because he's Jacob and I'm strictly team Edward but y'know… you guys might feel sorry for him, what with him being stuck in the closet an' all :L Bless :L**

**And, in the words of Top Gear (which I don't own any more than I own Edward Cullen… Edward Cullen does own me though… sigh), on that bombshell, goodnight! :D**

**But the good night could get better if you leave me a nice review? *hint hint***

**Lol thank you all!**

**-Steph :)**


	10. Chapter 10: Some Things Never Change

**Previously…**

_I nodded. "Sure. Well. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me." I paused before saying, "And, if you still want, I don't mind dropping by your house sometime and uh… pretending." I winked at him. "And you can hold my hand if you want to."_

_He beamed. "Are you sure?"_

"_Certain."_

"_Wow, I wish I had said something earlier now," he joked._

"_Yeah," I agreed. "I'm more than happy to hold your hand as long as I know that it doesn't mean more to you than it does to me."_

"_Believe me, it doesn't." He backtracked fast then. "Not that you're not pretty or anything. I mean, you're gorgeous but…"_

"_Not your type?" I put in with a laugh. "I know."_

_Jake just smiled at me and I was relieved that I had sorted out that fallout in the very least. Now there was just the fallout with Edward that I had to sort. But I had a feeling that that was something that couldn't be fixed in an hour at Starbucks._

**~FOM~**

'_Cos this time can be like the first time_

_Close your eyes- pretty soon we'll be there_

_No man could ever guess what you're feeling_

_Turn a spark to a flame, make a wish, close your eyes_

_Won't you start all over again_

_Just like the first time that you touched my skin_

_All over again_

_I tasted heaven take me there again_

_All over again_

_Your smile, your touch, your taste_

_It turns me on and on and on_

_And I'll fall in love with you_

_All over again_

_**-All Over Again, Ronan Keating feat Kate Rusby **_**(A/N: Actually a gorgeous song- I'd advise listening ;))**

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 10- Some Things Never Change**

**Edward POV**

I watched the landscape flash past miserably. My heart felt like it weighed a ton in my chest. I couldn't believe that I had let her get away. I couldn't believe that I had lost it at the last moment. I couldn't believe that I had practically handed her to Jacob on a plate. I may as well have told him to have at her, because I sure as hell didn't want her.

Even though that was the furthest thing from the truth.

It was clear, though, from his body language and protectiveness that he liked her. And the memory I had had in the arena backed up my suspicions.

And now he had taken her for coffee and it could have been a date and I had let her slip through my fingers, like water. Why was I such an idiot? Why hadn't I just told her that I had remembered something? Or, better yet, taken her in my arms and apologised profusely. Or maybe even kissed her.

The moment we got home, I went up to my bedroom and sat by the window, waiting for her to come back. I don't know how long I waited for, but the sun was beginning to slide below the horizon and the smell of dinner was filling my bedroom when the now-familiar red truck pulled up alongside an old Volkswagen Rabbit that had been sat outside all day.

Bella got out of the drivers side and went round to meet Jacob on the other side. She said something and he laughed and pulled her into a hug. My fists clenched and I opened my window in an attempt to hear what they were saying, but I couldn't make out any of the words. I watched as they chatted for a few minutes, and then Jacob got into the Rabbit and Bella waved him off.

She wrapped her arms around her little body and stood there for a while after Jacob had gone. Then, she shivered, and turned and looked up at my window. She saw me sat there and blinked in surprise. But then she smiled weakly at me and lifted her hand to wave hesitantly.

I smiled ruefully and waved back.

My heart jumped into my throat when her timid smile grew and lit up her face. She didn't move, though, just stood there grinning at me. After a moment, light spilled out of her front door next door and Bella turned her face to look at the person standing in her doorway. She looked back up and gave me one last wave before going inside.

I sighed and got up, crossing the room to flop down on my bed. I wondered what I had done before this whole losing my mind thing. Because, now, there was nothing that I really wanted to be doing. I always just wanted to sit by and let the world pass; but I still felt like there was something missing. Deep down, I knew that it was Bella that was missing from my new life but I was too scared to admit it. Admitting it would be like jumping right into the unknown. I couldn't just start seeing her again after all of this time. I had treated her so badly for so long that it would be a miracle if she ever did forgive me.

Even if she did, I had no idea what to expect from our friendship. Obviously, we couldn't just pick up where we had left off because I had no idea where that was.

Just then, a vaguely familiar ringtone pulled me from my thoughts. I smoothed out my frown and grabbed my phone off of my bedside desk, opening the new message.

_Meet me on the veranda?_ was all that it said. I lifted my eyes to the sender and felt my pulse speed up.

I didn't reply. Without consciously deciding, though, I went over to my window and pushed it open, hesitantly climbing out and then clumsily vaulting the fence in between. I peered into Bella's room, but it was empty, so I presumed that she was still downstairs, and I waited.

Just as I was about to chicken out and head back to my own bedroom, the door opened and Bella came in, glancing at her phone and holding an apple between her teeth. I hesitated, and then tapped on the window.

Her head snapped up, and that smile came back. She was so beautiful when she smiled. She threw her bag down on her bed and took the apple from her mouth, slipping her phone in the pocket of her jeans as she came to the window and unlocked it before pushing it open. "Hey," she said softly, her cheeks flushing a gorgeous pink colour.

"Hi." The awkwardness swept back over me, and I wondered whether I'd ever be able to talk to her without feeling like I shouldn't be.

Her eyes darted anywhere but at me. "Thanks for coming along earlier. It… erm… well, it means a lot."

I snorted, remembering Esme saying those exact words. "Yeah. It's… actually not that bad to watch."

Her eyes snapped to my face. She stared at me for a long moment, as though trying to find something in my expression, or trying to suck a secret out of my flesh.

I cleared my throat, not liking her scrutiny.

"Sorry," she muttered, her cheeks glowing again as she dropped her gaze.

"Can I come in?" I felt my eyes bug out of my head as the words came out of my mouth; I had _not_ planned to say that.

Judging by the look on Bella's face, she hadn't been expecting it either. "Um…" she stammered, "sure, I… I guess so." She stood aside and I carefully clambered in.

Once I was in her bedroom, I looked around, hoping to be struck by another sharp memory, as I had been in the stadium. But I wasn't. It was just a stranger's bedroom. I heard Bella shut the window and then she turned to me, taking another bite out of her apple and watching me look around.

The walls were a light shade of blue, though the windows were lined with light yellow curtains; it was the kind of colour clash that you didn't _expect_ to go together, but it just did in this one room. The ceiling gently sloped down closer to the window and the pale blue carpet was so thin that it may well have not have been there. Her bed was pushed right up against the wall that separated our bedrooms, just as mine had been before I had moved it, and her wardrobe was pushed up against the opposite wall; again, exactly the same as the old layout of my room. It was almost surprising how similar the rooms were, though it shouldn't have been considering that we were next-door neighbours.

The biggest difference, though, was the personal touch that Bella's bedroom had to it.

The walls around her bed had been practically turned into a photo collage. I moved closer and looked over all of the photos that were blu-tacked to the walls, leaving no space of wall between each picture. As I analysed each photo, I realised that I would have a hard time finding a picture that _didn't_ have me in it. It felt kind of weird seeing all of these duplicates of me staring out of this almost-stranger's wall.

"Well?" Bella asked quietly after a moment.

I was currently staring at a photo of the two of us. We were sat in one of those bucket-swings that you got a kids' parks, her head on my shoulder as she laughed at something I had said and my arm around her waist as I grinned in a smug way at the camera, pleased to have got Bella to laugh.

When I didn't respond, Bella came to my side and gazed at the picture I was looking at. She lifted her finger to touch it, gently pushing on one of the corners and pressing it on to the wall more firmly. "Alice took that," she told me in a whisper. "It was… um… two years ago?" There was a question in her tone showing that she was unsure.

"Did Alice always… stalk us?" I asked.

Bella laughed. "No. But… she's your younger sister, so she liked hanging out with the older kids. She's a good friend of mine." She sighed and flopped on to her bed.

I finally looked down at her. "This is weird for you, isn't it?"

She nodded slowly. "But I guess it is for you too, huh?"

I nodded as well, letting my eyes wander over the memories that I should have, but didn't. Water fights, picnics, games, outings, vacations and sleepovers. I reached up and gently pulled a photo that had caught my eye off of the wall. It was, again, of the two of us. We were on _my_ bed this time, though, and it had clearly been taken by me; you could see the stretch of my arm where I held the camera up. Bella, though, was completely oblivious to my photo-taking because she was fast asleep on my shoulder.

Bella pushed herself up on one elbow to look at the photo I had picked out of the collection. She smiled slightly. "Six months ago. Your bedroom. That was my birthday."

My brow furrowed. "Why were you at my house on your birthday?"

She shrugged. "Because that was where I wanted to be. We lay in your bed and watched horror movies all night. You teased me for ages beforehand saying that I wouldn't be able to sleep. But I fell asleep halfway through the scariest movie and you shook me awake a while later because you were too scared to sleep and leave us vulnerable to 'alien attack'." She snorted and then sighed. Her voice was full of nostalgia and longing. I guessed that she longed for me to remember, too, so that I could laugh with her about it. Or, in the very least, make excuses for myself.

I stuck the photo in my pocket temporarily and then hesitated. But I pushed past the awkwardness and the uncertainty, and flopped down next to her on the bed, so close that our legs were touching. Neither of us spoke, or moved for a while; Bella didn't even take a bite from her apple though it was close enough to her mouth to. Suddenly, I was overtaken by the urge to take a bite from it myself. So I did.

Bella stared at me as I chewed the apple and then swallowed it.

"What?" I asked innocently, with a small grin.

She laughed. Really threw her head back and laughed out loud. "I guess some things never change, huh?"

I smiled and shrugged. Then I decided that it was now or never. I took a deep breath and blurted, "I remembered something today."

Her laughter immediately ceased and she sat up straighter. "What… what do you mean?"

I looked down at my hands, as I laced my fingers together. "I remembered… um… you were sat with… Jacob…" Even I didn't fail to notice the way that my hands fisted in irritation as I said his name.

Bella reached out to cover my angry fist with her hand, but wavered and then drew her hand back away again and just said, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I murmured, "and then… I came over and said something about…" I trailed off.

"About?" Bella pressed.

If I had been her, I would have blushed. Instead, I just averted my gaze and muttered, "About a… date…"

Bella froze next to me.

I waited.

After a long moment, that was made longer by the tension in the air that exuded from me, she seemed to thaw out and she said, "That's good. Isn't it?"

I looked up, attempting to meet her eyes, but I couldn't. She wouldn't look at me. "I guess so," was all I could say.

We sat there in silence for a moment and then I looked back at Bella. She had dropped her apple on the floor now, and sat there with her arms wrapped around her knees and her chin resting atop of them. Her eyes stared across the room like they were trying to burn holes in her wardrobe.

"Bella?" I asked softly, reaching over and squeezing one of her hands in mine.

She turned her head to the side and smiled at me. "Do you think you'll ever… y'know… _remember_?"

I knew what she meant with her vague question. When she said 'remember', she didn't _just_ mean remember, but she meant remember _everything_. Did I think that I'd ever remember everything that mattered? I sighed. "I dunno." I met her eyes. "You could always tell me?"

She snorted. "Tell you what? Everything?" She kicked out her legs and turned round, lying back properly so that her head was on her pillow and her legs lay across mine. I didn't move them, instead, I cupped her ankle in my hand and gently drew lines up and down her calves.

"Why can't you?"

She shut her eyes and shivered slightly under my touch. "Because…" a smile played at her lips "…I'd never get it right. You know when you try and describe something… something _amazing_, and it doesn't sound good at all? Or… or when you describe something funny that happened and nobody laughs because you just had to be there?"

"Mmm hmm," I confirmed.

Bella's gorgeous chocolatey eyes flickered open again and she watched my arm as it moved slightly, rubbing small circles around her ankle bone. "It's kinda like that. And… why try and recreate something that can never happen again?" Her voice cracked a little at the end of her question and she shut her eyes _again_.

I looked up at her face but didn't halt my actions. "Because it can. Bella… I want to be friends with you." I paused, and then continued, "I… I feel like I don't know you but when I look at these pictures… I feel like I _should_ know you, if you know what I mean?"

"I don't." Her voice was suddenly flat and uncaring.

I was just as suddenly annoyed with her for blocking me, when I had just confessed something I had been scared to confess even to myself. My hand froze on her leg. "Why not?"

Her eyes snapped open again at my irritated tone and I could see the defensiveness sparking in them. "Because I've never had amnesia, you twat."

"Wow," I said, heavy on the sarcasm. "I never would have guessed." I pushed her feet off of my lap.

She sat up, tucking her feet underneath her now. "Oh really? What, you're gonna hold _that_ against me now? Just because I remember things that you don't?"

I glared at her. "You know, you could try and be a _little_ bit more understanding, here."

Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. "_Me_? Understanding? Fucking _hell_ Edward! What planet are you living on?"

"Oh, come _on_! I am trying so damn hard to get my memory back and you just sit here and don't even _try_ to understand things from my point of view!"

"And you do?" she countered. "Because, yeah, you've really tried thinking about what it would be like to lose the best friend you've ever had. You've really thought about how tough it would be for someone to see their friend remember everyone _but_ them, haven't you?" She pushed out at my shoulder. "_God_, Edward, you're so self-absorbed!"

I got to my feet so that I could tower over her. "What? Jesus, you are the freaking definition of hypocrisy."

She practically bared her teeth at me. "Get. Out."

"With pleasure," I snapped back, wheeling and heading for the window.

Bella watched from her bed as I climbed out of her window. I shot one last glance back at her, meeting her ferocious glare with one of my own, before scaling the fence and prying my own window back open.

I fell back into my own room, and then looked up to see that I wasn't alone.

"We've been calling you for dinner for ages," Alice said slowly. But there was a hint of a smile on her face.

I scowled. "Don't you dare go getting your hopes up."

Her face fell visibly. "Why not?"

"Because that girl is a selfish hypocrite," I muttered.

Alice huffed in annoyance and then opened her mouth to say something – probably to tell me off for being 'mean' to her friend – but I pushed past her and headed downstairs for dinner without giving her a chance to speak.

**~FOM~**

It wasn't until I was back in my bedroom after dinner – and after a few hours on the Xbox with Emmett (I thrashed him) – that I remembered the photo in my pocket. I reached in and pulled it out with hesitant fingers, and then I looked down at it. Though I knew that I had taken the photo, I wasn't looking at the camera. I was looking down at Bella's sleeping face, a smile lifting the corners of my lips and there was a tenderness in my eyes that made me sure that I had at least liked her a heck of a lot.

I guessed some things never changed.

I reached over and slotted the photo on top of my alarm clock and then I lay on my bed and stared at it. I remembered Bella's words earlier: _because that was where I wanted to be_. She wanted to be at my house on her birthday. Why? Obviously, we had been close but why would she choose me over someone like Alice?

Her mind was so hard to unravel. I wished that I could know what she was thinking. But then, on the other hand, what if I didn't like what I heard?

What if her reluctance to talk to me about our old friendship was because of something bad? Perhaps we had fallen out?

I sighed and glanced at my laptop.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

I darted out of bed and started up my laptop. My fingers drummed impatiently on the desk as I waited for it to warm up. Finally, finally, I opened up the internet browser and headed straight for eBay. I clicked in the search bar and typed, with shaking hands, 'ice skates'.

Instantly the screen was filled with results. I blinked and refined my search to my size feet as well, and within my budget and my country, and the number of results dropped considerably. I found a decent pair under 'Buy It Now' and clicked on it. I read the information, and checked the sellers' feedback, and then I pursed my lips and clicked to purchase a pair. I entered my details and then confirmed payment, using the family account.

After a moment, it sank in that I had just bought a pair of ice skates. It sank in that I should go ahead with my plan. It sank in that I was going to have to make up with Bella, and then ask her – beg her – to teach me how to skate.

I exited the internet and shut down the laptop before I did anything else rash, and then glanced at the clock. It was already ten o'clock, and I had school in the morning. Ugh, I hated Sunday evenings.

I got ready for bed and then slid in under the covers. I stared at the photo in my alarm clock as I waited for sleep to come, but my mind was racing with thoughts of Bella, and ice skating, and a desperate attempt to remember more.

I tossed and turned for hours; until way after my parents had turned off the last light and gone to bed.

I sighed and looked back over at the picture, feeling sad that I always seemed to leave Bella on bad terms. Things between us had actually been going… not well, but it was almost okay. It had almost seemed comfortable; Bella had even laughed.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I froze. Bella's laugh. It was _familiar_. The laugh that I had remembered, the laugh whose owner I had desperately tried to pinpoint… it was hers! I hadn't forgotten everything after all.

I sat up. Then, before I had consciously decided to, I was making my way over to my window. I pushed it open and climbed out, carefully climbing over the fence for the third time that day. The cold night air hit my bare arms and made me shiver as I made my way to her window- which had thankfully been left ajar. I pulled it open wider and squeezed in, pushing her curtains aside.

As soon as I was in there, I wondered why I had come. But I was too far gone to even contemplate going back now. I stared at the figure asleep in the bed, watching as she rolled onto her side and brought her hand up to cup her face.

Then she whimpered.

I took a step closer, kneeling down beside her and staring at her sleeping face. She was so beautiful.

"Edward," she whispered, and I froze, thinking that she had woken. But she slept on, a smile on her lips, and I relaxed again. But then she started mumbling things again in her sleep, and I listened closely. "No, Edward, babe is too common. You can't call me that," she muttered, "or darling. That's so old-fashioned."

I felt a smile lift the corners of my lips. She was dreaming about me.

But then the small smile on her face fell away and she thrashed around violently in her sleep, suddenly letting out an anguished and incomprehensible shriek.

Terrified that her cries would cause her father to run in panicking, I acted without thinking it through.

I took a hold of her shoulders and shook her awake.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Note of relative importance: I only read through this chapter once in my hurry to update. If there are mistakes, I'm very sorry and if I find any, I will edit it immediately :)**

**Woo hoo! I did it! :D In case you're wondering, today's personal target was to get some kind of chapter finished so that I could update on Edward's birthday ;) Btw, did anyone else notice that the NM people didn't do their research? He said that he was 109 in NM but he was actually 108 when it was filmed and when it came out… I read too much into things don't I? :L**

**So anyways… happy birthday Edward Cullen! :D**

**Now, I know I say this every chapter, but I wasn't too sure about this one either. Lol. So many people tell me that this is their favourite of my fanfics and I have to admit that it's really not mine :L I think I like VTN best :L**

**But Bella and Edward had a nice little chat there… even if it did end in a fight… :S And, in case you couldn't guess, they're about to have another nice little chat… which may or may not end in a fight and/or murder :L Don't worry, I'm joking, no one's going to die…**

**So… I finish my exams on Wednesday (YAY!) and I am going to make this story priority because it has the shortest way to go before it finishes. So you can probably expect a few more frequent updates here in the coming weeks, but it probably won't be too long until it's finished. We're maybe halfway through? The ridiculous thing is that every bloody day I'm assaulted by tons of new ideas for new stories and I just want to keep starting them, but I already have too many as it is. But, with that being said, when this finishes, I will probably post another fic in its place because I am just that stupid.**

**I'm gonna stop rambling now lol. But if you want to have a long ramble then by all means please go ahead. Or at least tell me what you thought of the chapter?**

**Please? :)**

**Thank you!**

**Steph**


	11. Chapter 11: Study of a Girl Named Bella

**Previously…**

"_Edward," she whispered, and I froze, thinking that she had woken. But she slept on, a smile on her lips, and I relaxed again. But then she started mumbling things again in her sleep, and I listened closely. "No, Edward, babe is too common. You can't call me that," she muttered, "or darling. That's so old-fashioned."_

_I felt a smile lift the corners of my lips. She was dreaming about me._

_But then the small smile on her face fell away and she thrashed around violently in her sleep, suddenly letting out an anguished and incomprehensible shriek._

_Terrified that her cries would cause her father to run in panicking, I acted without thinking it through._

_I took a hold of her shoulders and shook her awake._

**~FOM~**

_Seems like just yesterday you were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong_

_Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right_

_Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong_

_Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on_

_**-Behind These Hazel Eyes, Kelly Clarkson**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 11 – The Study of a Girl Named Bella**

**Bella POV**

As soon as Edward disappeared into his own bedroom, I turned my face into my pillow and let the tears that had been threatening to overtake me for a while flood from my eyes. There was an ache in my chest so strong that I was sure that I must have been dying. Or something.

As soon as he had said 'I want to be friends with you', my heart had broken in two. What had happened to 'I really like you Bella. As… as more than a friend'? I remembered that night in the meadow, when he had told me how much he loved me. And now he was back to 'just friends'. It wasn't that I hadn't expected as much, but it killed me to have my suspicions confirmed. What, would it take me another seventeen years to get back to that stage?

I was exhausted. Sleep threatened to take over at any second, so I kicked off my jeans and changed into a tank top to sleep in and then hid under my duvet cover. I knew that Charlie wouldn't be looking in any time soon since I had had dinner with Jacob and he had called for a pizza with chillies on- knowing that I detested chillies and taking the advantage of me not being there so that he could have them.

I felt awful as I drifted off to sleep. I had been a cow to my very best friend when he needed me most. He hadn't deserved that at all. But what was done was done, and what had been said had been said, and it was too late to take it back now. I'd just have to live with my own mistakes.

Finally, sleep dragged me under. But, of course, I had a nightmare. The very same one I had been having on and off for weeks now. The very same one that broke off another piece of my heart every time I dreamt it…

_Edward and I were walking through the forest, heading in the opposite direction from our meadow. There were huge smiles on both of our faces and my laughter echoed off of the trees._

_He caught me as I stumbled over a tree-root. "Careful, babe." He smirked at me._

_I pulled a face. "No, Edward, babe is too common. You can't call me that; or darling. That's so old-fashioned."_

"_Will you settle for anything?" he asked as his car came into view._

_I shook my head. Then, as Edward opened my door for me, I pursed my lips. "Actually… how about Bella?"_

"_Bella?" He quirked a brow at me playfully. Then, he glanced over my shoulder and his eyes widened._

_Instinctively, I glanced over my shoulder as well, in time to see a van speeding right at us. It took less than a second to register in my head that the van was going to collide with Edward's car… and I was standing right in between them. I drew in a shocked breath, frozen to the spot with fear. Then it all happened so fast._

_I felt someone pull me from behind; Edward. He threw me aside and I hit a tree trunk with such force that I was winded. But that wasn't what was at the front of my mind. As my breath whooshed out of my chest, there was an ear-splitting screech and a loud crash._

"Bella!"

I gasped as my eyes shot open to meet a pair of stunningly beautiful green ones. I sighed with relief and fell into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his shoulder, feeling the tears begin to fall. "Edward… I had such a horrible dream… it was so… _real_…" I trailed off.

He didn't respond for a long time. Then, his arms came up and he patted my back awkwardly.

I tilted my head to look at his face and saw that he looked just as awkward. Suddenly, ice shot through my veins as I remembered. The dream had been real. The dream had happened. Edward didn't know who I was.

I flushed and pushed away from him, curling my arms around my knees and looking up at his face. He looked almost… guilty? I glanced over at the clock, which read twenty minutes past one, and then back at him. Slowly, everything came back to me. "What are you doing here?" My words came out sharper than I intended them, though that was probably because his words from earlier that day were ringing in my ears: _you are the freaking definition of hypocrisy._ I clenched my fists and looked away.

Edward sighed, and then whispered, "I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well…" I looked back at him then and realised that I couldn't even pretend to be like that. I couldn't pretend that he meant nothing to me so that it wouldn't hurt anymore. That happened so often in books and films and stories. The heroine was strong enough to pretend that there were no feelings involved, sensible enough to know that the hurt they'd suffer by doing that would be much better than the hurt they'd suffer if they didn't. I wasn't that strong. I felt tears spring to my eyes but I held them back, reaching around Edward's neck again and hugging him. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "for everything."

He didn't hesitate this time, just climbed up onto the bed beside me and took me into his arms properly. Just as we used to do when we knew each other; when this confusing relationship wasn't one-sided. "Bella…" he said quietly.

"Edward." I reached up and buried my fingers in the hair at the bottom of his neck, gripping him tightly. "I wish…" I trailed off.

"You wish?"

I took a deep breath and then let it all out. All of the words that I had been longing to say for weeks. "I wish that we had stayed in the meadow for just five minutes more. I wish I had made you stay there with me. I wish that you didn't care so much about me getting sick. I wish that I had never agreed to come with you. I wish I had gone with Jake instead to some stupid Mexican restaurant." The tears had overflowed now and were rushing down my cheeks like hot salty waterfalls.

Edward was silent for a moment but then he lifted his thumb and tried to brush away the tears; it didn't work. "But you don't like spicy food," he murmured.

I opened my mouth to respond, but then I froze. It took me a second to remember how to control my body but then I looked up at him. "How did you know that?"

He blinked and then realisation swept over his face. "I… I don't know. I just… knew?"

I couldn't stop my lips from curving upwards slightly.

"Bella, look. I know that… I know that I don't remember you as such, but it's all here." He tapped his head. "I just have to find it."

I sighed and relaxed back in his arms, pressing my back flush against his chest. We sat in silence for a long moment, his arms wrapped around my body, my hands gripping his tightly.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I said quietly once I had gathered my thoughts. "You just… you said something and it…" I sighed. "Sometimes I forget that you're not the same person, not really."

He opened his mouth and I knew that he was about to deny being any different, but then he shut it again, knowing that he couldn't say that he was the same person when he didn't know who he had been before. "What… what was I like, then?" he asked curiously.

"Um…" I played nervously with his fingers, unclasping his hand from the tight fist that it was in and spreading out his fingers. "You were… very funny, always cracking jokes, always there with a great comeback for anything anyone said." I rolled my eyes. "You got into trouble for it sometimes. Actually, you got into trouble for it quite a lot." I laughed as I remembered. "You were very sarcastic, and sometimes a little stupid. Kinda careless- you didn't worry enough, but that was okay because I worry enough for two.

"You always got on Alice's nerves; you practically lived to wind her up when you were both younger. When you got older, you got a bit better but you still pissed her off every now and then." I snorted at the understatement. "You were very close though. Very close. You were close to Emmett as well, but I think Alice was the favourite- she was the baby.

"You could be very sweet though. Especially when it was just us. You had the most amazing sweet side, very caring and thoughtful and… lovely." I sighed wistfully. "You took care of me. Even Charlie – my Dad – trusted you to look after me; and he's protective. You were protective too." I rolled my eyes. "If any guy so much as looked at me at school, you'd go all tense and take my hand and tell me that the interested guy was a cruel bastard who wouldn't treat me right. It didn't matter, though. I wasn't interested in any of them; I preferred…" I caught myself, remembering that Edward was the one listening just as I was about to reveal how obsessed with him I was. I looked up to see that he was staring at me with an intensity so strong that it almost made me shiver. "What?"

He bit his lip and looked away. "I'm sorry. That I can't be him."

His words made my heart ache for him. I reached up and grabbed his chin, turning his head so that he was facing me. "Edward. You're still the same person. You're not that different."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I'm exactly the same. I called you a hypocrite; so much for warning you away from cruel bastards."

"You're not like that!" I exclaimed, pushing myself up so that I wasn't slouching. "Edward Cullen, why would you say that?"

"I made you cry," he whispered, knotting his fingers together.

"I started it," I pointed out, remembering how I had freaked out just because he had said he wanted to be friends. How was he to know that I wanted to be so much more?

"But I shouldn't have said that…"

"Edward," I cut him off. "Everyone says things that they don't mean. Don't beat yourself up about it. I won't let you."

A warm smile lit his face. "You know… I think I was lucky to have a friend like you."

I smiled too, glowing at his words. "Edward, I'll _always_ be your friend. No matter what happens."

He parted his hands and then reached one hand across himself to take one of mine. Then he squeezed it gently. "I wish I knew you better."

"Ah, but then you'd find out how annoying I am. You'd know all of my irritating habits." It was easier to joke about it than point out that he had known me better than I had known myself.

"Well… do you want to tell me any of your irritating habits?" he asked casually.

I stared at him in disbelief.

He looked up to meet my gaze. "What?"

"Er… no." I laughed, whacking him playfully. "I'm ecstatic about you being under the misapprehension that I'm perfect."

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. Fault number one- you use long and confusing words."

My brow furrowed. "Perfect?"

"Misapprehension and ecstatic," he told me.

I rolled my eyes. "They're not confusing. And ecstatic is only… eight letters."

"Do you have a pen and piece of paper?" Edward asked then, completely out of the blue.

"Yes," I replied slowly. "Why?"

"Can I borrow them?"

I pulled open the drawer of my bedside desk and handed him a pen and notebook. He opened it to a random, blank page and proceeded to write. With my brow furrowed in confusion, I rested my head on his shoulder and read the words as he wrote them. He had scrawled a title: _The Study of a Girl Named Bella._ Very funny, Cullen. And he continued to write in bullet points. I rolled my eyes but waited for him to finish before reading it aloud. "'The subject in question uses too many long and confusing words and is apparently unaware of said fault. She is also tactless as she uses these long words without even having the decency to check that there is no one within hearing distance who has '," I quoted, laughing. "What the fuck Edward?"

He shrugged. "It's true. I could have hippo…what-the-hell-ever."

I glared at him. "You do not have a fear of long words; I know that for sure. And you spelt it wrong by the way," I said. I pointed to a place in the word. "There's only one 'p' there."

With a resigned sigh, he crossed one of the 'p's out and then proceeded to add 'know-it-all' and 'picky' to his list.

I scowled. "Gimme that." I snatched the notebook from him and wrote 'intelligent' in capital letters underneath.

He took it back and added 'arrogant' to his list.

I huffed and crossed my arms.

'Stroppy' went down too.

"Oh for goodness sake," I sighed. "Is there anything I can do that _won't_ result in another negative point?"

Edward just wrote 'nosey' on his list and smirked at me.

Two could play at that game.

I bent down and grabbed another pen and notebook from my drawer, writing _The Study of a Boy Named Edward_ at the top of my page. Underneath the title, I scrawled 'obnoxious, annoying, bad speller, and obviously is a hypochondriac.'

"What's a hypochondriac?" Edward questioned.

"Someone who thinks that they have a host of illnesses that they actually don't. Like you thinking that you have a fear of long words," I replied, while simultaneously adding 'limited medical knowledge' to my list.

Edward wrote 'limited _general _knowledge' on his list.

I added 'forgetful' to mine.

He snorted and wrote 'unsensitive'.

"It's _in_sensitive," I corrected automatically, writing 'stupid'.

"Okay, this is stupid," he said suddenly. He turned a page. "So we've got the negatives. Let's do positives."

"That's not fair!" I pointed out. "I know loads of good things about you, but you barely know me!"

He shrugged. "I'm sure I can come up with something. Plus, you also knew more bad things about me."

I turned a page too, not wanting to admit that he was honestly pretty faultless in my opinion. Hell, even his annoying habits were endearing in my eyes! I tapped my pen against the top of my notebook for a second, wondering what to put, and then I noticed that Edward was scribbling away. I leant forward to see what kind of things he was putting, but he drew back, hiding his list from my sight.

"Uh uh," he told me. "No peeking."

"Fine." I tapped my pen a few more times and then started to write my list.

_Edward is… kind. Funny. No, hilarious. Sensitive and caring. Selfless and modest and a brilliant listener. He's really smart, sometimes coming out with things that I never would have even thought of. He's possessive, which some people might see as a bad thing, but I think it's sweet. He's fun to be with and one of the only people I can fully relax around and just be myself. Nothing seems forced with Edward- ever. He's not pretentious or tenacious or stupid or dishonest. He's loyal and trustworthy. He's good at bringing the best out in people, including myself, and he always knows how to make me feel better. He has some crazy sex-hair that I can see coming from miles off and the most amazing eyes that entrance me. He knows me better than I know myself and he's my very best friend. I just wish that he had stuck around a bit longer to become more._

By the time I was finished, tears were running down my cheeks. Because I knew that the Edward I was describing was the old Edward. The new Edward didn't know me better than I knew myself; he barely knew me at all. I looked up at him to see him watching me with wary eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

I clutched the notebook to my chest, not wanting him to see what I had put, and nodded. "I'm fine," I whispered, wiping away the tears.

"You're not gonna let me see that, are you?" He sounded sad.

I shook my head.

"Okay." He shut his notebook and threw it down on the floor. Then he got off of my bed and headed toward the window.

"Edward, wait!" I stopped him, not wanting him to leave.

He flopped into the chair by the window. "Yeah?"

I realised that he hadn't been leaving at all; he had just been going to the chair. I slipped off of the bed too, and went and perched on his lap, draping my arms around his neck and pressing my face into the hollow between his neck and shoulder. "I thought you were mad at me," I whispered.

I felt him smile against my cheek and his arms came around me, holding me. "Never."

We sat there for a long time, just holding each other. I remembered times when we had slept through the whole night holding each other in my bed, and I hoped that maybe this was the first step back to that.

After a while, though, Edward broke the silence with a whisper. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Actually, I have two questions… well, one question and a favour…"

I hid my lazy grin in his shoulder. "Just spit it out."

"When you fell asleep in my bedroom a while ago and I brought you back home." He paused, and I wondered if he was waiting for an acknowledgement. I was about to respond, when he continued. "Your Dad said that… that I saved your life. That night when I… lost my memory. What… what happened? And… why did I do that? _How_ did I do that?"

I was frozen in his arms, reliving my dream and that moment. The nightmare that had become real.

Edward seemed to gather that I was tense. "It's okay. You don't have to…"

"You pushed me out of the way," I answered with no emotion, cutting him off. I shut my eyes and shivered as I saw it all happen behind my eyelids. "I was in between the cars – yours and the one that was coming. I had my back to the other car, but you could see it coming. I heard it… and I turned round. I saw it and then…" My brow furrowed. "Everything went so fast. I was there and then… then I wasn't. And then there was a noise… a horrible screeching noise and…" I took a deep breath. "You screamed. No… no you didn't… _I_ screamed. I was screaming your name…" My eyes flickered open but I narrowed them, staring at the curtain without seeing it. "A lot. And then I found you… and there was blood…" My voice was a hoarse whisper. "Blood _everywhere_." My voice broke then, and I whimpered as the memory pulled at my heartstrings.

Edward's arms squeezed me tighter. "I'm sorry."

My whole body was shaking now. "You did, though. If that had been me there… I probably would have died." I felt fresh tears sting my eyes as I realised why he had done it. He had loved me too much to let that happen to me. So he had sacrificed himself, and this had happened instead. I couldn't decide which was worse.

I changed the subject. "What was the favour you wanted to ask?"

He sighed. "Well. You know I came to watch you and Jake… skating the other day?"

"Yes." Surprise coloured my tone; Edward had never taken any interest in my skating before. In fact, he had loathed it.

"I was wondering if… if you'd teach me?"

I pushed back and looked up at his face, certain that he was pulling my leg. "To _skate_?"

"Yes."

I thought for a second. Teach _Edward_ to skate. But… that would be so… there wasn't a word. I pushed off of his lap and said, "No! I can't… it's not… ugh! Don't do this to me!"

"Do what?" he asked, confused.

"But you _hate_ ice skating!" I wailed as quietly as I could, remembering that Charlie was asleep in the next room.

"I do?"

"Yes!" I sighed. "Edward, I can't… please… no!" I went back to his side and straddled his lap. I pushed one of my hands through his hair and he shut his eyes, much like a cat would if you stroked it. "What's happened to you? I feel like I don't know who you are anymore!"

His eyes opened again and smouldered at me through the darkness. "I don't know."

I shook my head. "No. I can't do that. I'm sorry."

He nodded in understanding, but looked completely and utterly dejected. "Okay," he whispered. Then he stood up, gently pushing me off of his lap before crossing over toward the window and pushing it open.

"Where are you going?" I asked quietly, staying where I was and watching him awkwardly.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "Home. You know, so that I can sleep?" There was no depth to his joke, his disappointment clear in his tone.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"It's fine, I understand," he replied, just as quietly. Then he started to haul himself up.

"Edward, wait," I repeated.

He stopped and turned round. "Yes?"

I crossed the space between us in a few short strides and reached my arms around his torso, pressing myself against him. I breathed him in, the delicious sweet yet manly smell that lingered all over him, and his arms closed around me. Then, before I knew what I was doing, I got onto my tip-toes and stretched my neck up so that my lips were inches from his, our noses touching.

His breath caught in his throat and he blinked at me, shocked, but he didn't pull backwards or put any distance between us, so I closed my eyes and waited for him to close the gap between our lips, but still giving him the choice to pull away. You could have cut the tension with a knife.

Eventually, though, his mouth touched mine and I felt that spark of electricity. I nearly cried with relief to find that it was still there. I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck, holding his face to mine and moving my lips smoothly against him. My heart soared and my pulse rocketed when he kissed me back, his hands moving to sit on my waist. He pulled away and took a deep breath before coming back for more. He groaned slightly and then pushed my mouth open with his lips. I whimpered and melted into him.

Just then, the floorboards outside of my bedroom creaked and we both froze, our eyes snapping open simultaneously. We stared at each other for a brief second, our mouths still practically welded together. But then the floorboard creaked again and I pushed him away toward the window. "Go!" I hissed urgently.

He blinked at me, shocked out of moving for a second, but then I pushed his chest again and he clambered out of the window and practically falling onto his own veranda. I stifled a giggle and pulled the window shut again before diving back into bed, just as Charlie opened the door to my bedroom.

I held my eyes shut, breathing slowly and deeply in and out to imitate sleep, until I heard him leave. Then I breathed a sigh of relief and waited until I heard him make his way to the bathroom and then back to his own room. I rolled over and it was then that the enormity of what I had just done came crashing down on me. I had kissed Edward. He had kissed me back.

Just then, though, my phone buzzed with a text message. I reached over and grabbed it, flipping it open to read the message:

_Are we ok? Still friends, right? –E_

I sighed. Friends. Again. Was this his way of telling me that what had just happened had been weird for him? That he didn't want it and just wanted to stay friends?

Biting my lip, I opened reply and typed:

_Yeah, we're ok. Goodnight –B_

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aw :( But they kissed! :D**

**BTW, in case you're wondering, hippopotomonstrosesqui****p****edaliophobia is actually the fear of long words ;) Talk about irony :L**

**Okay, I have a little bit of bad news for you guys… I've worked out my chapter plan and I think that there're only gonna be about 6 chapters left :S So I'm going to try and get it finished within the next few weeks so hopefully more frequent updates from now on :)**

**If you're a reader of my other stories then you'll know about my preview for review thingy and this story is no exception ;) So if you want a preview of the next chapter then leave a review and I'll send one as a reply. BUT if I posted this more than 3/4 days ago then I might not be able to send one because I've found that it's fairly difficult to keep track of which reviews you've replied to and which you haven't :S But, yeah, so preview for review :D**

**And I'm gonna shut up here because I'm being nagged on MSN to post this already :L**

**Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter- kinda fluffy and cute? :)**

**Thank you! :)**

**-Steph**


	12. Chapter 12: Tweedledee and Tweedledum

**Previously…**

_I held my eyes shut, breathing slowly and deeply in and out to imitate sleep, until I heard him leave. Then I breathed a sigh of relief and waited until I heard him make his way to the bathroom and then back to his own room. I rolled over and it was then that the enormity of what I had just done came crashing down on me. I had kissed Edward. He had kissed me back._

_Just then, though, my phone buzzed with a text message. I reached over and grabbed it, flipping it open to read the message:_

Are we ok? Still friends, right? –E

_I sighed. Friends. Again. Was this his way of telling me that what had just happened had been weird for him? That he didn't want it and just wanted to stay friends?_

_Biting my lip, I opened reply and typed:_

Yeah, we're ok. Goodnight –B

**~FOM~**

_There she goes, there she goes again_

_Racing through my brain_

_And I just can't contain_

_This feeling that remains_

_**-There She Goes, Sixpence None the Richer/ The Las **_**(A/N: A pretty old song but, hey, I was a nineties kid :P)**

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 12 – Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee**

**Edward POV**

Well now I was confused as shit. She had kissed me, but then when I had asked if we were still just _friends_, all she had had to say was 'we're ok'. What the hell did _that_ mean? Of course, I didn't get a wink of sleep that night.

The kiss had taught me something, though. It had taught me that, no matter how I had felt about her before the accident, I was head over heels in love with her now. I couldn't remember her or whether we had been friends or something more – though her kissing me sure gave me a lot to wonder about – but I knew now that I wanted her in my life and not just as a friend. Perhaps the clean break had been for the best after all. Perhaps it was because I had forgotten that I had realised this all-consuming love I had for my best friend.

But, then again, perhaps not.

Something else that was keeping me awake was the image of her that I now had ingrained on my memory. Lying there beside me in just a tank top and a pair of boy shorts, biting innocently on her lip and ducking her head to hide a shy but incredibly sexy little smile. Images like that of the girl you've just realised your in love with plus raging teenage hormones equals one uncomfortable and sleepless night.

By the time it got to five o'clock on Monday morning, I gave up on tracking down sleep and went and switched on my laptop, thinking that maybe I could find something interesting, or funny, or downright stupid on youtube to distract me.

I tapped my fingers against the plastic as I waited for it to warm up, shooting down the start-up windows as soon as they opened. Finally, the last one popped up before my eyes and I clicked to exit, but then I froze. MSN messenger. I quickly went back and pressed start, scrolling through the programs until I came to it again. I opened it, and signed in. None of my contacts were online; no surprise there. But that wasn't why I had come on anyway.

I clicked on my favourites category, and the drop-down list revealed one name. _Bellaaa_. I snorted; who knew that Bella could be so imaginative? Then, I opened up my documents and typed Bella's screen name into the search box. After a moment, our MSN history came up. I blinked in surprise when I read what the first thing I had said to her was.

_**Captain Underpants- Who knew that you could be so imaginative?**_

I guessed some things never did change. I wondered why the hell my screen name was 'Captain Underpants' but then shrugged it off and started to read through some of the endless history of conversation. There was so much of it that the scroll bar down the side was barely visible; I imagined that this would be a hell of a lot of talking. And that there would be a hell of a lot of secrets exchanged on MSN. And so I would get a hell of a lot of answers to my hell of a lot of questions.

This was like a goldmine.

I spent hours trawling through conversation after conversation full of banter, teasing and photos sent from one of us to the other. After scrolling past yet another exchanged photo, curiosity got the best of me and I opened my pictures file to see picture after picture of Bella. Some of them had captions, others didn't. But if the captions describing Bella as 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' told me one thing, it was that I had liked Bella as more than a friend before all of this crap as well. It seemed that this was one of those emotions that just wouldn't go away.

I was still scrolling through the conversation when my alarm clock went off for school. I sighed and rubbed my eyes and dragged myself from my computer desk to get ready for school, my head filled with a few answers and even more questions.

**~FOM~**

The next few days were spent in the same way. When I got home from school I was sat at my computer reading through the emails. I had dropped in to see Bella a few times but she was barely ever in; always skating, skating, skating.

I did see her, though. I saw her all the time at school. School was getting better for the both of us. All because my 'always watching' had stopped just being watching.

When Bella unwillingly exiled herself to her solitary seat and then sat there taking notes with a look of pure concentration on her face, I no longer just watched her. I didn't feel comfortable with going over and sitting beside her yet, but I apparently wasn't so mature that I was beyond throwing paper aeroplanes with notes on. The notes weren't much, just a little something to make her smile; a throwaway comment about the teacher, a bad knock-know joke… that kind of thing. But she always ducked her head to hide a smile, her cheeks flushing a beautiful shade of red. People still called her 'Edward Cullen's friend' or 'that girl in the corner' but they had stopped whispering and giggling in the cafeteria.

When people tripped her in the corridors and then laughed at her for being a klutz, I no longer just watched. I went over and made them pick up all of her books for her, and made Bella stand by and watch, red-cheeked as usual.

When she wasn't picked for a team or fell over her own two feet in gym, I no longer just watched. I picked her first for my team and helped her up when she fell. Whenever I did this, she only flushed and muttered her thanks under her breath but I didn't fail to catch the dazzling smile that lit her face when she thought that no one was looking.

When she walked to her truck after school, weighed down by heavy books, I no longer watched. I went over and took her books from her, asking if she had had a good day and offering her a lift if she ever wanted one. She blushed, as I had come to expect, and politely declined but every day she opened up more and more, adding in little things that shouldn't matter to me, but did for some indecipherable reason.

I was pulling out all of the stops. I was desperately trying to spend as much time with her as I could. I was desperately hoping that she'd do something – like flick her hair, or say something, or smile in a certain way – and make me remember everything. But nothing. Occasionally, when reading our MSN conversations, I'd remember sitting at my computer desk and laughing at what she had said, or watching her through the window, but I never remembered anything that told me anything.

It was driving me mad.

But then, one day, everything changed.

I got in from school and Esme came out to greet me. "Edward?" she said, sounding slightly wary.

"Yeah?" I dropped my bag on the floor and went into the kitchen to grab an apple, sitting on the stool by the breakfast bar.

"Did you…?" She paused and then said, "This is going to sound crazy but… did you order a pair of ice skates?"

"Ah!" I hopped down from the stool. "Yeah, did they come?"

Mom's brow furrowed. "Yes," she said slowly. She gestured to an opened box sat on the worktop.

I went over and pulled them out. They were really nice. Well, they seemed nice; my knowledge of ice skates was pretty limited. I let out a low whistle.

"Edward?" Mom asked. "Are you… okay?"

I looked around at her, confused. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

She smiled slightly. "It's just… honey…" She sighed and came over and sat on the stool I had just vacated. "Well, you see…"

"If you're going to ask if I'm gay, Mom, then my honest reply is an absolute categorical 'no'," I said before she could ask anything that could turn this awkward.

To my surprise, Esme neither sighed in relief or yelled at me. She laughed. "No, Edward, I was not going to ask you that. But it's nice to know all the same." She sighed again, but she was smiling now. "No. I just… do you remember much from before the accident sweetie?"

I shrugged and sat down beside her, gathering that this was serious. "Not much. I remember stuff I learnt at school and I remember going to some places but I don't remember how I felt, or what I ever thought."

She nodded. "So you don't remember that you absolutely hated ice skating?"

I stared at her. "What?"

She nodded her hair, her caramel curls shaking in front of her face. "You said it was boring, and that you hated it."

She had to be having me on. "Even though my best friend won like a million competitions?"

Esme nodded sadly. "You told her you hated it too. You… seemed to really hurt her feelings at first, but then she kind of got used to you never being there or supporting her."

I remembered Bella's reaction on Sunday night when I had asked her – well, begged her – to teach me how to skate and realised that this must have been why she had said no. Why had I felt so differently after one little accident? "Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked, knowing that I could have stopped myself from hurting Bella's feelings as I had on Sunday night.

Mom blushed guiltily. "I wanted to see if you'd come to watch for once in your life. I just know that it means so much to her." She sounded wistful. Then she drew her attention to the skates in my hand. "I guess your views have changed then?"

I nodded in reply.

She smiled slightly. "There's a public session on at the rink right now; I can drive you if you want?"

"No!" I said too fast. "No, thanks, I can drive myself."

A pained look came over her face; the same one that now appeared whenever I wanted to do anything that could be seen as dangerous in the slightest. That even included chewing on a piece of gum (apparently it could get stuck in my throat and I could die). But she was slowly realising that just because she almost lost me once before didn't mean that she could stop me from doing things like drive a car, and chew gum. She nodded this time. "Okay," she whispered, "as long as you're okay."

"I'm great." Then I went upstairs to change into something more suitable for skating.

While I was wandering round my bedroom, I noticed that I'd left my computer on standby. I went over to turn it off properly but just as the screen danced to life after I had keyed in my password, I heard loud music suddenly started to play from the next door bedroom. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. One of Bella's guilty pleasures, I had learnt from reading the MSN conversation.

I stopped my hand on the mouse from shutting down the computer and read over a few lines of the bit I had it open at.

**Captain Underpants: Joan Jett? Seriously?**

_Bellaaa: Huh?_

**Captain Underpants: Your personal message? :L**

_Bellaaa: Oh… *blushes* I just… I like that song._

**Captain Underpants: Is that why you won't let me nose through your iPod?**

_Bellaaa: Partly…_

And it went on. Banter. Me teasing her. It was easy. Simple. I wanted that back. No, I wanted more.

Without consciously thinking about it, I lifted the cursor and hit print. I printed off the first twenty pages of conversation, drumming my fingers impatiently on the desk as I waited. Then, when all of the sheets had been printed, I grabbed a stapler and stapled them all together before scribbling on a post-it-note sticking that to the front.

I climbed out of my window and peered round into Bella's room. When I saw inside I had to hold back a laugh. She was stood on her bed, her long brown waves cascading down her back and her eyes shut tight as she sang along into a hairbrush. She was even more beautiful when she was carefree.

When 'Bad Reputation' rolled into 'I Love Rock N Roll', Bella jumped down off of her bed and threw the hairbrush back on her desk before leaving the room. I didn't know where she had gone, but guessed that she'd be back soon since she had left the music on. So I gently eased the ajar window open wider and dropped the wad of paper through, making sure that the fluorescent yellow post-it-note was on top where she would see it.

I smiled briefly and then pushed the window shut again and went back through my own window, grabbing my new skates and shoving my wallet in my pocket before heading out to the ice rink, declining Esme's offer of a map on my way past; I knew the route better than the back of my hand after all of my incessant Bella-stalking.

**~FOM~**

A while later, I was stumbling around on the ice feeling incredibly stupid. Ice skating apparently looked a hell of a lot easier than it actually was. A bunch of kids who looked about five or six years old skated round me in circles all watching as I fell on my ass for the millionth time.

"Hey, mister," one of them said, coming to my side. He was the biggest of the bunch and had dark hair and big grey eyes. I looked over at the gaggle of kids to see that they were all watching from a distance; obviously this kid had volunteered to come and speak to me.

"Yes?" I asked through gritted teeth as I struggled to get back to my feet.

"Don't you know how to stay up?" he asked innocently. Irritating kid.

"Yeah, of course I do; that's why I spend most of my time on my ass," I snapped sarcastically, already exhausted and fed up of my lame attempt at skating; and I had only been here for half an hour. I was beginning to understand how I had hated the sport so much.

The little boy stared at me blankly and I realised that my sarcasm had been wasted on him.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry."

"Do you want some help?" the kid persisted.

"No, thanks. I can get up myself."

"Okay," he said, but he didn't leave me alone. He stood right next to me and watched as I got shakily on to my feet and promptly slipped over again. Thankfully, I had still been crouching over so there was a smaller impact this time.

"Ouch," I muttered. "I think I broke my ass."

The little boy howled with laughter. "Hey, Felix, get over here!" he called out to one of his equally annoying little buddies.

Another little boy skated over expertly, making me scowl. "Yeah?"

"He said 'ass'!" the first little boy squeaked and they both dissolved into a fit of childish giggles. That only irked me more. I mean, for starters, if I laughed like that while stood on a block of frozen water I would have been on my rear end in seconds. Plus, any guy who still laughed at the word 'ass' was way too immature to hang with me.

"Whatever tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum," I said with a pout, wiping my cold hands off on my sweat pants before attempting to get up again.

"We're not tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum," the second kid corrected me naively. "My name's Felix and this is my friend Marcus."

I sighed, wondering why I bothered wasting my breath.

"What's your name mister?" Tweedle-dee – or _Marcus _– asked.

I debated saying something stupid just to wind them up a little more but decided that attempting to explain it would cost me more time than was necessary. And, as soon as I managed to get myself vertical again, I wanted to go home and mope about what a crap investment the skates had been. "Edward," I replied as I pushed up onto my knees.

"Cool, did you come with your Mom?" Tweedle-dee piped up.

I rolled my eyes again and was about to tell him that no, I did not come with my mother because I was a big boy who could do whatever he wanted… but someone else spoke before me. "Hey Marcus, Felix, are you guys bothering my friend?"

I fell from my knees back on to my ass when I whipped my head around to see if I was hearing things. I wasn't.

"Miss Bella!" the kids exclaimed dashing over to the beautiful girl sliding toward me, a little smirk all over her pretty face.

She patted their heads briefly but then skidded to a halt by my side and held out a hand. "Need a little help, huh?"

I reluctantly took her outstretched hand and let her help me back to my feet. This time I managed to get up properly and Bella pulled me over to the edge. "Thanks," I muttered.

"He's your friend, Miss Bella?" Marcus asked in disbelief, his eyes wide.

Bella glanced awkwardly at me, but then nodded at the little boys.

"But he's _rubbish_!" Felix exclaimed. "He fell over seven times already!"

"It wasn't that many," I objected automatically.

"We counted." Marcus backed his friend up.

Bella laughed. "Well, he needs a little training up."

I scowled at her.

Just then a woman called for Felix and Marcus from the edge. They both moaned simultaneously.

"Go on kiddies," I said a little condescendingly… okay, a lot condescendingly. "Go back home with Mommy."

They glared at me but their Mom called again and they said goodbye to Bella before skating off.

I breathed a sigh of relief when they left and turned to Bella. "How the heck do you know tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You nicknamed them after the little fat men in a Disney film?"

"Actually, it's a book."

She scoffed. "Whatever, you were thinking of the film and we both know it."

I didn't even try to deny it this time. "So how do you know them?"

She shrugged, skating a backwards circle around me. "Jake and I help out with the Sunday kiddie classes so that we can have more rink time."

"Oh." I ignored the way that my skin bristled when she said his name. Then my brow furrowed. "Why are you even here? I thought tonight was your night off?"

Bella ducked her head and smiled slightly. Then she looked back up at me. "I… I found your… can you call it a note?"

"Oh." I bit back the shit-eating grin that threatened to erupt all over my face. "I guess so." I shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to show how happy I was that she had decided to come because of me.

Bella smiled shyly at me before pushing off from the edge. I watched appreciatively as she skated around and around the almost-empty rink a few times, adding spirals and jumps here and there, before coming to a halt beside me. "So you want some help?"

"Uh…" I looked hesitantly at the thick sheet of ice underfoot. "I think I'll just watch."

Bella threw her head back and laughed – that wonderful, wonderful laugh. "C'mon chicken." And then she reached out and took my hand. The usual spark shot up my arm and shook my body from head to toe, and I beamed at her.

We stayed on the rink for ages, only getting off when the staff ordered everyone off so that they could smooth the surface. We took a break for a drink and then got right back on it. I had the best time that I could ever remember. Bella helped me along giving me tips and telling me what I was doing wrong, and laughing at me when I fell over. I tried to push her over in return but she was too damn good at staying on her feet. As the hours passed and we went round and round in circles we exchanged polite conversation about school and lightly teased each other about various stuff. If someone watched us, they'd have thought that we were old friends, or perhaps even a couple. Only the two of us could feel the tension in the air.

As it got closer to seven o'clock – the time that I demanded we leave by if I didn't want Emmett to eat my dinner – the tension was easing off and I was really enjoying myself.

"Once more?" Bella suggested, referring to a race around the circular rink.

"Sure," I replied and then took off, careful to not watch my feet too closely as Bella had advised. Just as I was approaching the pole that marked our makeshift finishing line, a few inches ahead of Bella, my toe-pick got caught in the ice and I went flying, knocking my head against the ice.

"Edward!" Bella was at my side in a second, which made me sure that she had been letting me win if she could move that fast.

I sat up, holding my hand to my forehead. "I'm fine," I said, though I was pretty sure that there should have only been one Bella.

She looked doubtful. "Yeah. Sure. Your head's already swelling up you idiot. Come on." She bent down and hauled me to my feet just as the ice attendant came over to check that I was okay.

I assured the first aid guy that I felt fine as he held a bag of ice to my head a few moments later and he reluctantly left me alone with Bella.

She smirked at me. "Karma's a bitch, huh?"

I raised my brows. "What? I didn't do anything wrong."

"You nicknamed two of my students after fat guys from a Disney film," she reminded me.

"Oh, like that warrants a huge bump on the head," I said sarcastically.

Bella laughed and then opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by her phone ringing. She glanced down at caller ID and her brow furrowed in confusion before she answered it. "Hey, Jake, what's up?" She paused for a second, listening to his response, and then her eyes went wide. "Oh shit! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I completely forgot! Yeah, yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can." Then she hung up, biting her lip.

"What's up?" I asked.

"You so cannot drive in that state," she observed, mostly to herself.

"I'm fine," I repeated blandly.

Bella rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored me. She was silent for a moment, but then she said, "Okay, can you walk?"

I stood up to try it out and then nodded.

"I'll drive you home now," she told me, grabbing up both my and her own skate bag. "Come on."

I followed her, confused, thanking the first aider on my way past. He said something about going to the hospital if I felt dizzy but that would hardly be necessary with Carlisle around so I just nodded and continued to follow Bella.

She opened the passenger door of her truck and dumped the skate bags on the floor before holding the door open for me. "Okay, get in."

"In that crap heap?" I snorted, but obliging anyway.

She shot me a filthy glare. "Don't hate on the truck," she commanded before slamming the door shut.

I snickered into my hand as she went around the truck and got into the drivers side.

"Why such a rush White Rabbit?" I asked with a wink as she started the engine.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm the White Rabbit? Not Alice?"

"Well, Alice has to be Alice," I pointed out. "Not only do they share a name but our Alice is a titch as well."

Bella snorted. "Okay then, but why am I the White Rabbit?"

"Because you're late for a very important date," I replied in a sing-song voice.

She laughed again. "Right. So who are you?"

"The charming Cheshire cat, of course," I answered simply.

"More like the Mad Hatter."

I suppose I had been asking for that. I shrugged. "Johnny Depp's a good lookin' guy."

"Uh uh." Bella shook her head. "We were talking about the Disney movie remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Well crap, I'm doomed."

Bella laughed again.

"You didn't answer my question," I said after a pause.

"What question?" She stopped the truck at a red light and turned to face me, a strand of her hair falling in her face.

Automatically, I reached over and brushed it aside, my fingertip tingling when it brushed her skin. I smiled slightly at her. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Oh." Bella blushed and ducked her head. "I'm going to Jake's house for dinner… with his Dad…"

My heart dropped into my stomach in disappointment. "'Meet the parents' kind of thing?" I struggled to keep my tone light.

Bella hesitated for a moment, as though unsure of what to say. Eventually she sighed and said, "Something like that."

I just nodded and pursed my lips, turning to look out of the window as the red light turned green so that she wouldn't see the devastation that was evident on my face.

Neither of us spoke another word until we said our goodbyes – and I my thank you – outside of my home. Then, Bella smiled slightly at me and drove off for her date without a backward glance.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

***Note of Relative Importance* Again, I have only read this through once so there are probably a lot of mistakes at the moment. I will go through and rehash them later but I thought I'd post it before I throw my internet connect USB thing across the room… loooong story…**

**Awww :( It'll get better though guys! It's already getting better really :) I mean, they're laughing aren't they? And Bella's teaching Edward how to ice skate ;)**

**I would like to add here that I do not own any version of Alice in Wonderland, whether that be the Disney version, the Lewis Carroll book or the one with Johnny Depp in which I am yet to see :L**

**This is a mega long chapter for me so hopefully it's made up for the not updating for a few weeks :S And to some people *cough*ZOE*cough* hopefully it's made up for the whole not-being-able-to-read-until-tomorrow thing. And, actually Zoe, I can wish you a very merry unbirthday because that fits in with what has apparently become the theme of this chapter :L So have a very merry unbirthday ;)**

**Pffft… um… I can't remember if there was anything I was supposed to be telling you in this A/N or not… There was probably something but I've forgotten it :L**

**Oh, I'm twittering again :) If you want to follow me, the link's on my profile or I'm StephaniiieJo :) This recent un-failing at Twitter is probably because I can go on it on my new BlackBerry which is totally awesome! :D If you tweet me then I'll probably end up following you back because I need to find some more fanfiction-obsessed people to follow… :L**

**Uh… I think that's it :S Oh, if you were wondering, you'll find out what Edward put in his list of things about Bella and what he wrote in his note in the next chapter when we go back to BPOV :)**

**I'm probably not going to do previews this chapter for a few reasons. Firstly, I don't have any of the next chapter that I can send you, and secondly I want to get the next chapter of VTN done :S**

**So I'm back to begging on my knees for reviews because, honestly, they are my drug and I need a little fix. Plus, every time I get a new email my phone vibrates obnoxiously loudly and drives my brother mad and I'm pretending that I don't know how to turn it off just to annoy him ;)**

**Can we maybe get to 750 reviews? Thank you all! :D**

**Right here ;)**

**\ /**


	13. Chapter 13: Kind of the One

**Previously…**

_Automatically, I reached over and brushed it aside, my fingertip tingling when it brushed her skin. I smiled slightly at her. "Why are you in such a hurry?"_

_"Oh." Bella blushed and ducked her head. "I'm going to Jake's house for dinner… with his Dad…"_

_My heart dropped into my stomach in disappointment. "'Meet the parents' kind of thing?" I struggled to keep my tone light._

_Bella hesitated for a moment, as though unsure of what to say. Eventually she sighed and said, "Something like that."_

_I just nodded and pursed my lips, turning to look out of the window as the red light turned green so that she wouldn't see the devastation that was evident on my face._

_Neither of us spoke another word until we said our goodbyes – and I my thank you – outside of my home. Then, Bella smiled slightly at me and drove off for her date without a backward glance._

**~FOM~**

_There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth_

_Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt_

_It's still a little hard to say "what's going on?"_

_There's still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness_

_Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed_

_You step a little closer each day yet I can't say what's going on_

_**-Cannonball, Damien Rice**_

**Foundation of Memories**

**Chapter 13 – Kind of the One**

**Bella POV**

Edward had been being extraordinarily sweet all week. Well, extraordinarily sweet for new Edward. It was the kind of thing that would have been pretty normal for old Edward. But I appreciated the gestures all the same, even if his knock-knock jokes really were pretty crap.

Every night after school, Jake and I met up at the rink and did more skating, preparing for nationals. Things certainly weren't awkward after his revelation, which I had been worried would happen. When Thursday, our day off, rolled around I was exhausted, but I still missed the rink. I almost wanted to go along anyway. But I had to catch up on homework and stuff so that would be irresponsible.

I had a little rave on my bed when I got in from school to loosen up, and then popped to the loo before setting up to do my homework. But just as I was about to settle down and start it, a bright yellow note on the floor by my window caught my attention.

My brow furrowed and I went over to pick up the bundle of papers. I peeled the post-it note off of the top and my eyes scanned the familiar handwriting. It read:

_Bella,_

_I'm trying to make it better. I promise, I really am. I've been reading our MSN history… it hasn't done much but it's better than nothing, right?_

_I already seem to know lots of things about you. It's just there, you know? Read the thing in the notebook under your bed. Maybe one day I'll remember everything :)_

_-Edward_

The sheets of paper under the post-it note were printed sheets of some of our previous MSN conversations. I skim-read a little bit and smiled slightly at the memories, before turning and reaching under my bed for the notebook. I opened it up and came to the last thing written in there. It was titled _Good Things About Bella._ I smiled and started to read.

_Bella is… kind. She's so thoughtful and selfless and she always puts other people in front of herself. She's unknowingly modest. She loves ice skating and laughing and she has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. She's adorably clumsy when she's on her feet but when she skates she has this air of grace about her that makes me feel proud of her. She's so smart and she can see beauty in things when other people can't. She's not fake, she's just Bella. She has beautiful, beautiful eyes and I'm sure that there is not another pair of eyes in the world the same gorgeous colour as hers. She always makes me feel relaxed, and calm, and happy, and when I'm with her it's like I'm a jigsaw puzzle and someone's slotted in a missing piece that I barely noticed wasn't there before. When it's put into it's rightful place, though, I can't believe that I didn't see it. When we touch I feel a spark. When our eyes meet, I feel weird all over. When she says nice things about me I feel like I'm about to explode with happiness. When she's sad I want to be the one who makes her laugh again. When she's irritated I want to be the one to smooth away the annoyance. When she's happy I want to be the one who made it so. Bella is absolutely one of a kind… and that also makes her kind of the one._

My heart was racing in my chest. 'Kind of the one'? That wasn't something you said about your _friends_… was it?

Screw homework, I had to get this mess sorted out. He sounded like he was in the same place that I was; friends but wanting more. My only problem was that I knew myself too well to think that I'd ever get the guts up to tell Edward how I really felt. It had been hard enough once; I wasn't sure that I could bear doing it again only to receive a completely different reception.

Nevertheless, moments later I was standing outside of Edward's front door, banging insistently on the door. I could have climbed through his window but I didn't want to have this conversation in his bedroom… I would ask him out for a walk, or something.

But Edward didn't answer the door, as I had expected him to; Esme did. Her whole face lit up when she saw me. "Bella! Sweetie, how are you?"

"Um… super," I muttered, averting my eyes. Then I remembered why I was here. I looked up again. "Is… um… can I speak to Edward?"

"Oh, he's not here at the moment. Actually, you just missed him." A little crease appeared between her eyebrows.

I frowned. "Where is he?"

Esme hesitated. "Um…"

"What?" I started to panic. "What's wrong?"

She chuckled slightly. "Nothing's _wrong_. I was just a little surprised."

I stared at her blankly.

"He's gone skating. Ice skating."

"Oh."

Esme's eyes watched me carefully, gauging my reaction. She seemed a little surprised, as though my reaction had been anticlimactic. Perhaps she had expected me to throw a hissy fit? Cry, maybe? Maybe I would have done, had Edward not asked me about teaching him earlier on.

"Okay," I said eventually. "Thanks Esme." Then I turned to go.

"Bella, wait," she called after me quietly.

I turned back. "Yes?"

"He's still the same person, you know. He still loves you, you know. He just… he just doesn't know it yet." She looked down sadly.

I nodded. "I know."

**~FOM~**

I went to the ice rink. I watched from the side for a while, a little scared about going over and just throwing myself into it. But when it looked like Felix and Marcus were starting to grate on his last nerve, I knew that it was my time to intercede.

I could never have guessed that skating with Edward would be so fun. Actually, that was a lie. I could have totally guessed that. I had always longed for Edward to come and skate with me; I had always known that it would be fun. I had stopped wishing that after the accident, though, thinking that skating with an Edward who didn't know me would just be awkward.

It wasn't.

It was freaking hilarious.

Edward fell down a lot, being a beginner, and he tried to push me over but my body just stayed as it was; upright. I helped him along when he wasn't too stubborn to defy my suggestions and he teased me, calling me a show-off when I did little jumps and spins.

There was a little wariness in the air, a little tension, but mostly there were smiles and laughs. I didn't ask him about the note, just mentioned it in passing, and he didn't ask anything else in return. I felt that something had passed between us, though. Maybe an unspoken promise. A promise of a forever… eventually.

It wasn't until after we had gotten off of the ice, though Edward's head was instantly covered in a bag of the stuff thanks to his massive fall, that I remembered my promise to Jacob. I had agreed earlier in the week to go round to his house and have dinner with him and his dad. He said that we wouldn't have to do anything couple-y, that his father would just assume. I still felt a little uneasy at pulling the wool over his eyes. Or not so much pulling the wool over since we weren't technically lying… perhaps we were just leaving the wool where it was.

But I didn't remember this promise until Jake rang to remind me; and inform me that I was already late.

I drove Edward home as fast as I could, while keeping to the speed limit (having a cop for a dad made you feel obligated to abide by these sorts of rules), and we bantered some more about Alice in Wonderland and the characters. I had deliberately brought that up to change the subject from my sort-of-date with Jacob. When he had asked, "'Meet the parents' kind of thing?", I had heard the pain in his voice, and I had desperately wanted to tell him the truth. But Jacob was one of my best friends, and I couldn't betray his trust like that. Especially not to Edward, who he had never gotten on with.

So I just muttered "Something like that" and hoped that one day I would be able to tell him the truth and we could laugh about it.

**#x#**

Billy's eyes moved from Jacob to me as I cut through the small steak on my plate. My knife made a horrible squeaking noise against the plate. Other than that, the silence continued.

Billy took a sip of his beer. He put the can back down on the table and then cleared his throat. "So… Bella… how long have you and Jacob been dating?"

I looked across the table at him, worried that I would say something wrong. "Well… uh…"

"It kind of just happened," Jake supplied for me. "We've been friends for so long that it's hard to… put a date on it, right baby?"

"Mmm hmm." I nodded and took a mouthful of food so that I would have time to think if Billy asked me another question.

"Huh." Billy scratched the back of his neck.

The rest of dinner was just as awkward. Billy asked questions that neither of us really knew the answer to, Jacob bluffed his way through everything, and I sat in silence wishing that we had been better prepared for this. Jacob and I washed up together after dinner; he made a show of slapping my ass with the tea-towel and I joined in as well as I could. But Jacob was better at the act than I was so I mostly just left him to it. Then, we had a game of Scrabble. As Jacob placed the word _endoscope _across a triple-word score square, effectively winning hands down, I found myself wondering what Edward was doing, and what he'd have done had I been pretending to be his girlfriend. And then I remembered our real first date and realised that we'd have done something a lot more romantic than Scrabble. I sighed.

After we had packed Scrabble away, the three of us went into the living room to watch some TV before I had to go home. Jacob and I sat on the loveseat, taking a good few minutes to get settled so that his arm was around me and I was almost on his lap. Sitting like this with Jacob felt completely natural, comfortable, but not like it felt when I sat with Edward. When I was with Edward, it was exhilarating; with Jacob, it was nice. Just nice. Because we were just friends and we could never be anything more.

Billy's eyes were trained on us rather than the TV so I occasionally felt Jacob's hand on my thigh, or his lips at my hair. _That_ was uncomfortable. Probably more so for him, but at least he didn't feel like he was cheating on his neighbour/best friend/unofficial ex-boyfriend… or whatever the hell Edward was.

After about ten minutes, Billy sighed. Then he said, "Jacob."

Jake and I looked at him.

Billy stared at his son for a long moment. "She's not your girlfriend, is she?" His gaze flickered to me and he offered me a small apologetic smile before returning it to Jacob.

Jake ducked his head. "No," he mumbled.

"It's okay, Jacob." Billy looked down at the floor. "I'm a little hurt that you don't feel that you can tell me but… well, I guess I understand why."

"I'm sorry."

I stood up, not wanting to intrude. I turned to Jacob, fiddling with my fingers. "I'll go and let you guys talk, okay? I'll see you tomorrow at the rink?"

Jake hesitated, but then nodded. "Sure. See you tomorrow."

"See you round, Billy," I said to his dad, unable to meet the man's eyes for fear of him seeing me as the worst person in the world for lying to him.

But, as I walked past his wheelchair, his hand came out and took my wrist, stopping me. He looked up into my eyes. "Thank you, Bella."

I smiled a little. "Anytime."

**#x#**

When I pulled up outside my house I saw that the light in my bedroom was on. My brow furrowed as I got out of my car and headed for the house. "Hey, Dad!" I called as I kicked the front door shut behind me, to let him know that I was back. Then I went straight upstairs. I opened my bedroom door to find Edward sat in the middle of my carpet, old photos strewn all around him. I beamed. "Hey," I said softly, dropping my bag by the door and shutting it quietly behind me.

Edward glanced up. "Hi."

I manoeuvred my way through the photos to sit down beside him. "I could have you arrested for breaking and entering, you know."

Edward looked up at me properly now, a little smirk on his face. "Actually, your dad let me in."

"Oh." I dropped my eyes, looking at the photos all around me. "Where did you get all of these?"

"They're mine. Alice helped me find them. I thought I'd bring them round here because…" He trailed off, concentrating on the photos instead.

"Because?"

"No, it's silly."

"Just tell me."

Edward pursed his lips and then muttered, "I feel closer to you here. It's like… well… you're kind of right _here_, if you know what I mean? Well, obviously you don't but-"

"No, I do." I reached forward and picked up a picture of Edward and I stood side-by-side by the swings in the park, dressed in matching blue duffel coats (I had insisted on getting the same as Edward, even if it meant wearing boys' clothes). We were about eight and were both missing one of our front teeth, beaming goofily and poking our tongues through the holes. I laughed. "Hey, look at this. I remember that day! It was so cold, but your mum bought us ice cream anyway."

Edward narrowed his eyes and stared at it for a long minute. Then he said slowly, "No, not ice cream. Mango and papaya sorbet. You wouldn't have anything else."

I tried not to show how pleased I was that he remembered, not wanting to come across as patronising. "Admit it; your mum thought I was a stroppy cow."

"Not at all. My mum loves you."

"She can love me _and_ think I'm a stroppy cow you know. I know that my dad thinks that from time to time."

Edward smiled. "Well… maybe a little bit."

I laughed, and leant into his side. I breathed him in. All of my brain cells must have evaporated because the words that came out of my mouth next were the last things that I had expected to say while we were sat in the middle of my bedroom surrounded by photos and remembering my tantrum over mango and papaya sorbet. "I love you."

Everything went still. Or maybe I did, and everything else just seemed to. Time stopped for a while.

Edward stood up. He started pacing up and down the room, occasionally standing on the odd photograph. I watched as his foot came down on our smiling faces repeatedly. After what seemed like forever, he spoke. "What about Jacob?"

"What _about_ Jacob?"

Edward stared at me. "You just went to fucking meet his parents, Bella!"

I knotted my fingers together. Sometimes I hated my stupid mouth. "Um… well…" I cleared my throat and mumbled, "Jacob's gay, Edward. I was his… I dunno… pretend girlfriend? For his dad… but he found out anyway because I'm a crappy liar so… um… but… yeah, he's really not my boyfriend or anything like-"

I was cut off by Edward kneeling down in front of me and slowly reaching around to cup the back of my neck. The index finger of his other hand came to my chin and he tilted my head up so that my eyes met his wide green ones. "He's gay?"

"Um… yeah, you can't tell anyone tho-"

"Thank God," Edward mumbled, and then he leant forward and suddenly we were kissing. His lips were soft against mine, the small amount of stubble that dotted his chin scratched at the skin of my face, and his hand on the back of my neck moved to bury in my hair. He pulled away after a second because he was still crouching down and it couldn't have been very comfortable for him. "I love you, too, Bella. I know that I don't remember much but I will and I… if there's anything that I _do_ remember it's that I've always loved you. Always. I-"

I smiled coyly. "Stop talking." Then I pushed on his shoulders until he was lying on his back on my floor. I straddled him and bent my face to his, kissing him with all of the strength I had. We lay there on my floor for a long time. Even once we stopped kissing we lay on top of the scattered photos, side-by-side, staring at the ceiling in silence.

Edward was the one to break the silence. "I want to make a scrapbook," he said randomly.

"What do you mean?"

"All of these photos. I want to make copies of them and make a scrapbook. With you. Every photo can have its own page and we can write things around them that we remember. I _will_ remember, Bella. I promise."

I bit my lip. "Edward, it's okay. You don't have to feel pressurised to remember."

"I _want_ to. I want to remember every moment I've ever spent with you."

"I'd prefer you didn't remember some," I joked.

"Like what?" He turned his head and looked at me. "Tell me something that you wouldn't want me to know. I want to know it all, Bella. The good and the bad."

I blushed. "Um… well… we camped out in your garden one time and you told me scary stories and I got too scared so I went inside and slept in your bed instead. You called me 'chicken' instead of Bella for three weeks afterwards. Then I hit you so hard that your nose bled. You didn't call me chicken after that."

He grinned, one side pulling up higher than the other as usual. "That sounds like you."

I elbowed him.

"Ow!"

"You practically asked for it."

"Okay, now tell me a good time we had together."

My mind instantly went to the last Valentine's Day, our meadow picnic. But I veered away from it. I didn't even know if I _could_ tell him about that without crying. And he might be hurt if I cried. He might think that he was different. But he wasn't, not really. He was still my Edward. And he still loved me. I tilted my head up and kissed his lips chastely. "Right now," I whispered.

Without moving, Edward reached to one side and grabbed a box. He tipped it on its side, reached inside, and brought out a Polaroid camera. He held it in the air, pointing it at us. "Say cheese."

But I had a better idea. I tilted my chin again, and pressed my lips against his jaw, letting my eyelids fall over my eyes.

The snap of the camera sounded and Edward and I sat up as the photo developed. We waited for the picture to come through and then both looked at it. It was perfect, even with our messy hair and swollen lips and the untidy photographs beneath us. "That can go on the first page," Edward said. He reached into the box again and pulled out a proper, professional-looking, ring-bound scrapbook.

"Woah," I said, my eyebrows raising.

"I'm not going to do this halfway," he told me, opening it to the first page. "It's too important to do a half-assed job."

"Yeah, who'd want to show the kids a crapbook, huh?" I teased, and then froze when I realised what I had just hinted at.

Edward glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. Then he laughed and said, "Our kids will not be seeing this. That would be far too embarrassing. I mean, look at that one!" He pointed at a photograph by his foot that was of us poking our tongues out at the camera.

I joined in the teasing by pointing at one of us when we were about two both with chocolate mousse moustaches, trying to ignore the thrill that was still buzzing through me at the words _our kids_. "Or that one."

Edward tucked the corners of the photo under the metal tabs on the first page. He reached into the box again and brought out a golden gel pen. I wondered whether that was the box equivalent to Mary Poppins' handbag as Edward wrote in his neat calligraphy across the top of the black page. When he popped the cap back on the pen, I leant forward to see what he had written.

_The salt to my pepper. The peanut butter to my jelly. The roast beef to my Yorkshire pudding. The Bella to my Edward._

I smiled. And then I kissed him.

I could really get used to this.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**I was going to leave you a cliffie here but… well, then I decided to be nice ;)**

**I'm so sorry sorry sorry about the length between updates on this and every other fic I have posted. As I said in the PTP update, RL's been getting in the way of everything and, as I think most of you know, I'm editing THWTLAL in the hope of publishing one day :) I am going to finish this and then work on VTN and TDIB because I need to work on one fic at a time alongside my original story and editing THWTLAL. PTP will continue to be updated as it's a collaboration :)**

**I **_**believe**_** that there is only one more chapter of this and an epilogue. There may be two more chapters, but we'll see. It depends on how much I deviate from my plan lol.**

**Next chapter, Bella has something special to show Edward… guesses are, of course, more than welcome ;)**

**Please let me know what you thought of Jacob's coming out and Bella's… well, coming out. Lol. Big chapter, huh? Does that make it worth the wait? :)**

**I will update soon this time, I promise :)**

**Thanks so much for sticking with me!**

**-Steph**


End file.
